Note: This chapter is only Suzaku's POV. Sorry if it is not accurate to how the characters would actually think in the show. I really don't know how each one would react to such situation. Another thing I want to add is that the lyrics of the inspo song I chose are related to this chapter. If you want to understand better you can listen to it. Please enjoy! ;D
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INSPIRATION SONG: Goddess by Laufey
I feel as if I was trapped in a coffin, but there is something pressing beside me that radiates the kind of warmth sunlight would.
Slowly, I open my eyes and realize that I was indeed not in a coffin. That was only part of my imagination. And I also realized that the comforting heat I was feeling came from a human. More specifically, the worst person I have ever come across. Lelouch.
My blood goes cold and my mind short-circuts. How did I end up in such a situation in the first place?!
I sat up on the bed, my whole body was naked and my brown hair was a mess. The only thing covering me was the blanket that is now laying around my waist.
My emerald eyes land on the raven-haired boy sleeping beside me. His fair skin gleams under the soft light passing through the gap of the curtains.
The Britannian teen looked so… peaceful while sleeping. I almost forgot how much pain he brought upon the empire.
My eyes unconsciously wander around him. And that is when I noticed that the blanket was only covering part of his waist, leaving his upper body and legs completely uncovered.
The fair skinned boy had marks around his inner thighs.
All of the memories flood back to my mind. And reality felt like a cold bucket of water being poured on me.
My face was red and I felt disgusted.
Although, really, really deep down, I was grateful to see other facial expressions from him.
I sighed with frustration and slight regret. But I couldn't help but smile bitterly at my own mistake.
I ran a hand through my hair and let the minutes pass. Silence consumed the bedroom. And I was completely absorbed in my own thoughts.
On stage, Zero looked so powerful and calculating. So full of confidence. And now, instead of that monster, I see a human. A familiar face I used to smile at.
Who would have thought that the white snow would mix with dirt and be so… ugly.
I'm not disappointed. It is deeper than that, way more complex. Something words can't describe, only my actions.
Ever since he killed my love, Euphie, I have stopped seeing him as an equal. Lelouch is not a human. He is the embodiment of destruction and I want to stop him. But, is that really what I want?
Yes, it is. Part of me says.
My thoughts are contradicting each other.
I say I want to avenge all the people he has killed and yet my body and soul can't bring myself to do it.
My heart belongs to Euphie.
But my soul to Lelouch.
Suddenly, I noticed the blanket shifting slightly. I turned to look to my right, and saw the boy filling my mind shift slightly.
My heart skipped a beat and my mind went blank once again. Why was I feeling nervous all of a sudden?
My eyes couldn't help but admire him.
Lelouch is as pretty as a cherry blossom blooming in spring.
Then I realized what I had just thought and quickly looked away. The only one I love is Euphie. Lelouch… Lelouch is a terrorist and a heartless monster.
The quietness of this four-wall place forced my past memories to come back. And an unbearable anger started to consume me once again. As well as my thirst for revenge.
I sighed again. The disgust and rage I was feeling were making me nauseous. In the end I decided to get up from the bed.
My school uniform was scattered on the wooden ground right beside the side of the bed I woke up in.
Without even looking back, I started to get dressed.
The fabric was soft under my fingertips. And once I finished getting dressed. I decided to look back at the raven-haireds' sleeping form.
My brows furrowed and my desire to choke him right now made me step dangerously close to him. My hand unconsciously wrapped around his thin neck.
His pulse was so serene and warm.
I pressed his pulse points lightly and Lelouch immediately reacted. Shifting once more. That sudden movement made me snap out of thought.
I withdrew my hand from him and stepped back. Slight guilt weighted in the bottom of my heart.
After that, I sighed heavily and walked out the bedroom.
What is up with me? Did I just try to kill him in his sleep?
Panic started to rise within me. This made me have flashbacks to when I killed my… father.
Lelouch, you infuriate me.