After dinner, they left the rest of the escort and headed for the room the innkeeper had set aside for the prince.
William glanced at Alex. He had appreciated the way the prince had defended him, but one question kept tormenting him.
"What did you mean earlier, when you said you wanted to find a way to handle all this?"
"It's what I want to talk to you about once we're back at the palace."
"Can't you tell me now?"
The prince shook his head. "I need time. There are a few things I need to do."
"Are you having second thoughts?"
"Never." He took William's hand and pressed it to his chest. "I would never give you up, Will. For any reason in the world. I'm just asking you to wait and trust me."
William searched his face, then nodded. "I trust you."
He always had, from the very moment the prince first spoke to him.
They reached the room.
The chamber was functional. The furnishings were sparse, but the bed looked comfortable. William sat down on it, and the springs squeaked under his weight.
"It's noisy."
The prince flashed a mischievous smile. "If you toss and turn during the night, someone might think we're busy."
William threw a pillow at his face. "Stop being so inappropriate."
"Says the mage who asked me to share the bed with him."
"As if you minded."
Alex laughed and pulled off his boots. "In fact, I don't mind at all."
He was about to sit on the bed, but William stopped him.
"Wait. There's something else I want to do first."
"What?"
"Undress you."
The prince raised an eyebrow. "Will, I'm not sure I'll be able to control myself."
"Just don't touch me unless I tell you to."
"All right, but… stop if you feel uncomfortable."
William swallowed, his heart pounding against his chest.
The kiss from a few hours earlier had made him feel right. For the first time in many days, his mind and his body hadn't reacted negatively to a touch he wanted, and he had discovered he could do more.
That he wanted more.
He craved to touch him, kiss him, and to feel him inside himself. He wanted to reclaim his own body, and he wanted to do it with him.
"Please, stay where you are."
Alex obeyed, and William began unbuttoning his jacket.
One button at a time, his eyes fixed on his own movements. The prince's gaze burned on his skin, and he found himself craving more. He wanted to be looked at like that. It made him feel loved.
He slipped the jacket off the prince's shoulders and folded it over the chair, then unbuttoned his shirt.
His fingers slid over the gold buttons, one by one. He took it off, baring the prince's chest.
William caressed him with the tips of his fingers, kissed his collarbone, and felt him take a deep breath.
"Will, are you all right?"
"Yes."
William traced slow circles over his chest and stomach, and licked one of his nipples.
"Will, you're driving me crazy."
"Maybe that's what I want."
He liked watching him give in, and he liked it when the prince looked at him with eyes full of desire.
But more than anything, he liked touching him and knowing that the contact didn't fill him with disgust, only pleasant sensations.
William slid his fingers to the buckle and fumbled with the belt for a moment.
"Are you sure?" Alex murmured.
"Yes."
He pulled it free, then unbuttoned the prince's trousers and lowered them. He dropped to his knees, forcing himself not to look at Alex's sex. He stroked his muscular thigh and firm calves, then moved back up toward his groin and buttocks.
"Will…" The prince's voice was rough and tense. "You're too close."
"I could be closer."
"You're really daring tonight."
"Do you mind?"
"Not at all, but… I might really get hard."
"Then go ahead."
William kissed him near the hip, the heart leaping into his throat, and a faint arousal rippled across his skin. He was close—so close that if he lowered his head, he could brush the prince's sex with his lips.
And he realized he truly wanted to.
He moved his mouth down along his thigh, then lifted his gaze to the prince's face. The expression he read in his eyes made his heart race.
"Do you desire me, Your Highness?"
"You have no idea how much."
He did know. He felt it clearly through the bond, with a force that left him dizzy.
William took the prince's hand and brought it to his own lips. He licked the tips of his fingers, then sucked his thumb without breaking eye contact.
He liked it, and it made him feel powerful.
"Turn around."
The prince obeyed, and William placed a few kisses on his backside, then slid his trousers off. He straightened, folded them neatly, and set them aside together with the jacket and the shirt.
"Sit on the bed, Your Highness."
The prince sat down, and the mage knelt again between his legs. This time he lifted his gaze to his slightly hard sex, and forced himself to memorize its shape and size.
To desire him until he felt a stab in his chest and a pleasant warmth flooding his veins.
He wanted him. So much it ached. But he was also afraid of daring too much and hurting himself more than he could bear.
"For tonight, this is enough. Thank you for allowing me."
Alex let out a deep breath and fell back onto the bed. He pulled the covers over himself and watched him as he removed his jacket and shoes.
"Will, how are you?"
"You've asked me that a lot tonight."
"I want to make sure everything's all right."
William smiled at him and joined him in bed. "I'm better."
He curled up against the prince's chest gave him one last long kiss before blowing out the candles.
The room plunged into darkness. Their faint breaths echoed softly in the silence; their hands caressed each other slowly.
William closed his eyes and let himself be lulled by the warm skin of the prince.
"Your Highness, earlier… a part of me wanted to go further, but I'm still afraid of daring too much."
"You don't have to force yourself. I can wait."
"But I don't think I can, not when you're this close." William held him tighter. "I'm a man."
After a moment's hesitation, the prince wrapped an arm around William's back and pulled him close.
"Then do what you feel like doing. If you want to touch me or kiss me or undress me, do it. If you want… to see me enjoy myself, ask me." He caressed his cheek. "Whatever you want to try, I'll help you make it happen."
"Are you sure that's enough for you?"
"Will, if you're happy, then I am too. If you're well, then I'm well too. Do I want to make love to you? Yes. And I want to hold you and erase the pain they caused you, and hear you whisper my name. But more than anything, I want you to heal."
William brushed the prince's chest, longing to be beneath him, naked and vulnerable, while the prince loved him gently.
He closed his eyes and surrendered to sleep.
And he dreamed.
He was naked in the middle of a meadow of white daisies. Above him, the sky was black like his hair, sprinkled with countless tiny stars.
Alex was lying beneath him, naked as well, his handsome face framed by hair the color of gold. His sex brushed between William's buttocks. Hard and hot.
William rose onto his knees, guided him inside, and sank down again. Pleasure filled him; the prince filled him, and William let out a soft, pleasurable sigh.
They intertwined their fingers and moved in unison. With every thrust, he felt a little closer to orgasm and a little less broken.
He collapsed onto the pince's chest, murmuring his name over and over. The prince gripped his buttocks and the pleasure intensified.
William moaned; the prince pushed him onto his back in the grass, lifted his hips and thrust into him. Again and again and again.
The mage raised a hand to caress the prince's face, but icy fingers grabbed his wrists and yanked him back.
They pinned him to the ground, and the pleasure slipped away. Terror took its place and clenched his throat.
The meadow vanished, along with the starry sky and the prince's face.
William was back in the classroom of the Academy. Pinned to the floor by hands that should never have touched him, while a monster he had never wanted to meet raped him and laughed.
William jerked upright, a scream lodged in his throat. He pressed his trembling hands over his mouth, and a sob wracked his chest.
"Will…" The prince's warm voice brushed his ear. "What is it? Are you all right?"
"I dreamed about it… It ruined everything…" He hid his face in his hands. "I thought I was fine…"
He thought he'd left the nightmares behind.
A retch rose in his throat and William stumbled out of bed. He bent over the chamber pot and vomited, coughing. And he cried tears he didn't want to shed anymore.
A warm blanket settled over his shoulders; the pale glow of a candle lit the prince's face. He was smiling gently, with a hint of worry.
"It's all right, Will. You're not alone, I'm here with you."
He sat beside him, holding his hair away from William's face while he retched. Then he helped him back up, wiped his lips, and made him sit on the bed again.
He lit another candle, and only then did William notice that he had gotten dressed.
"You got dressed."
The prince gave a small smile. "So as not to make you uncomfortable, even though I'm sure you're much stronger than you think."
He sat at his side and held out his hand.
William hesitated, then rested his fingers on the prince's and laced them together. He stifled a sob, and tears blurred his vision again.
"I'm not getting better."
"You are. You've taken a lot of steps forward; I just don't think it's a linear path. It's like when you're wounded by a sword blow. Sometimes the pain comes back even when the wound has healed."
"Are you talking about your finger?"
The prince nodded. "Sometimes I feel pain as if it had just been cut off, but the wound healed a long time ago." He looked at him. "You will heal, Will, but the scars will remain. And I'll be at your side every time the pain surfaces to help you drive it away."
William rubbed his eyes and rested his forehead against the prince's chest. "It was a beautiful dream." He hesitated. "We were making love in a meadow. And it was beautiful."
The prince's fingers slid through William's hair. "And then?"
"Then you disappeared and I was back in that classroom."
And he was helpless again.
"I wish I had the power to let you have only beautiful dreams."
"But you're here. When I need your presence, you're always there."
"I promised you, didn't I?"
He had, and he had kept it.
He was a prince with several flaws, but he had never abandoned him. Not once.
And William was grateful to him.
It took several minutes for him to calm down, then he lay back down beside the prince. He nestled into his arms and, slowly, fell asleep again. And this time he didn't dream at all.
The rest of the return journey was tense.
After the nightmare, William flinched at the slightest touch and stiffened every time the prince came close. They no longer slept wrapped in each other's arms.
The thought that the prince might hate him for it frightened William more than the idea of having nightmares again.
But Alex stayed by his side, and his presence gradually made him feel protected.
On the last night before returning to the palace, William swallowed his terror and hug him.
He was trembling, struggling with himself, but that small step forward filled him with joy. And the prince smiled.