Chapter 18 - Heartbeats in Step
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The morning air was crisp, carrying with it the faint scent of chalk dust and newly polished floors as Save walked through the corridor toward his classroom. His heart thudded louder than his footsteps, each beat reminding him of the choice he had made the night before.
He had decided.
No matter what answer awaited him, no matter if his fragile dream shattered into silence, he would tell Aaua the truth. His feelings had been caged too long, fluttering restlessly inside him like a bird desperate for the sky. Today, he would open the cage.
Save's palms were damp, and he rubbed them against his trousers as if trying to erase the weight of his hesitation. It's just Aaua, he told himself. The same Aaua who laughs at small jokes, who holds his books gently, who never lets anyone feel left out. Yet somehow, the idea of speaking the truth turned the world into something heavy, a stage where he was both the actor and the trembling script.
He turned the corner, and there it was—his classroom door, slightly ajar. He could already hear the hum of voices, chairs scraping against the floor, the quiet chaos of a new school day. His heart gave a painful lurch.
And then—he saw him.
Aaua was sitting near the window, light spilling across his face in soft, golden waves. His posture was relaxed, his focus on a notebook spread before him, the edge of his pen tapping lightly as if he were lost in thought. To Save, the sight was overwhelming, almost unreal, as though the world had shrunk into the space between that window and his own heartbeat.
Save felt something inside him melt, the decision he had made now trembling on the edge of fear and hope. For a fleeting second, he thought about turning away—about hiding behind his silence once more. But as he stepped inside, his shoe made a faint scuffing sound against the floor.
At that exact moment, Aaua looked up.
Time fractured. Save froze, breath caught mid-air, the weight of Aaua's gaze pinning him like sunlight on glass. His chest tightened; his thoughts tangled into panic. What if Aaua guessed? What if he saw through him in this very second?
But then—Aaua smiled.
Not a grand or dramatic smile, not one meant for the world, but a small, sweet smile. Warm. Effortless. The kind of smile that touched not only the lips but also the eyes, softening their edges, making them shimmer.
Save felt his frozen heart begin to thaw. His breath released slowly, shakily, as though that simple smile had lifted the invisible chains around his chest.
He smiled back—just barely, timidly, like a secret blooming in the quiet space between them. And in that moment, Save realized: even if his confession would not end the way his heart longed for, this tiny piece of warmth, this fleeting exchange, was enough to give him courage.
The teacher came in with a cardboard shoe box, scuffed and taped down the sides like it had survived a decade of class activities. The room quieted the way it always did when something unusual entered—sound thinning, heads turning, seats squeaking.
"Okay," the teacher said, setting the box on the front desk with a small flourish. "As you all know, festival month is coming. This year we're doing the dance showcase again."
Groans and cheers braided together. Someone thumped a desk in mock protest. Someone else whispered, "Please not Latin again."
"To keep it fair," the teacher continued, tapping the lid, "we're drawing partners at random."
That drew a louder mix of reactions. Save felt the room tilt. He glanced at Auau instinctively, mouth opening—maybe we can volunteer, maybe— but the teacher was already pulling a stack of folded slips from a folder and dropping them into the box.
"Each of you will draw one name," she said. "That's your partner. I know some of you have preferences." Her eyes flicked, for a beat, toward the usual friend clusters. "But the point this year is to learn to build trust with someone…unexpected."
Save swallowed. The word trust slid around in his chest like a coin he wasn't sure he deserved to hold. He pressed his palms to his thighs under the desk to keep them still.
Patji leaned back in the seat beside him and made a face that said random, huh? Save smirked back, but his gaze was already drifting—window light, Auau's profile, the curve of a smile that had once steadied him in the dark.
The teacher called names in alphabetical order. One by one, kids shuffled to the front, fished around in the box, unfolded paper with the reverence of a lottery ticket. Cheers, groans, a few dramatic collapses across desktops for comedic effect.
"Save," the teacher called.
He stood too quickly, knee bumping the desk leg. On the way up the aisle, he felt his hope as a ridiculous, stubborn thing—small and bright and refusing to be practical. He slid his hand into the box. Paper edges kissed his fingers. He pulled one out, heart compressing into a single loud drumbeat.
He unfolded the slip.
Patji.
The reaction that leapt to his face—surprise, then a flicker of disappointment—he strangled it before it fully formed. He made himself smile, made it friendly, turned and lifted the paper so Patji could see. His friend raised both eyebrows and did a little jazz-hands victory like a clown, and a few people snorted.
"Team Work Ethic, let's go," Patji whispered when Save sank back into his chair.
"Guess you're stuck with me," Save managed, trying to lace humor through it.
"Please," Patji said, flicking his hair. "You're the only one who can count to eight without crying."
It got a real laugh out of Save, small and grateful. He held onto it like a handrail.
"Auau," the teacher called.
The room's background noise thinned again, as if multiple attentions had just tuned to the same station. Save didn't turn all the way around—didn't want to be obvious—but his ear strained for the sound of paper, then the pause of unfolding.
Across the room, Por was half-standing in his chair, palms pressed to his desk, grinning like a kid at a carnival. "Come on, destiny," he stage-whispered.
Auau looked at his slip.
"Por," he read, lips quirking.
Por whooped, pumping his fist once like he'd scored. A few classmates clapped ironically. The teacher shushed them with a hand, though she was smiling too. Auau sat back down, and in the seam of a second before Save dropped his gaze to his own desk, their eyes found each other again.
It wasn't long—just the briefest catch of attention—but in that sliver of time Save knew he'd failed to hide it all. Whatever crossed his face—the way his mouth had tightened, the way hope had puddled and slipped—it must have shown. Auau's expression shifted, almost imperceptibly: smile gentled, eyes searching, a question there he didn't voice.
Save looked down. The slip with Patji on it blurred a little at the edges. He pressed his thumb into the paper as if physical pressure could anchor him.
It's fine. It's fine. You decided what you would do—tell the truth—no matter what. Random pairs don't change courage. They don't get to decide whether you try.
"Hey," Patji murmured, nudging his elbow. When Save glanced over, his friend's clowning had dialed down to something more careful. "We'll make it fun, okay?"
"Okay," Save said. His voice sounded normal. That felt like an achievement.
The draw went on. A couple of mismatched duos groaned dramatically; a couple of best friends screamed like they'd won the universe. Por swiveled in his chair to flash a thumbs-up at Auau, then—too quick for most to catch—let his gaze flick to Save. Not a smirk, not exactly. Something more complicated. Almost…measuring.
The teacher clapped once for order. "You'll have a week," she said. "We'll give you basic steps, but I want each pair to add something personal. A gesture, a story. Something true."
Save's stomach tightened at that word again. He glanced sideways. Auau was listening, chin propped on one hand, sunlight sliding off his cheekbone. He looked unbothered. He always looked unbothered. Save wondered what it felt like to inhabit yourself that easily.
Instructions followed—practice room times, the sign-up sheet taped to the board, reminders about shoes and the catastrophe of last year's glitter. Desks scraped; friends compared slips; the shoe box sat lopsided and empty like a spent prop.
As people started to drift into their smaller conversations, Patji leaned in. "So. After school? We can book the back studio before the soccer dudes steal it."
"Yeah," Save said. He tried to assemble enthusiasm and found, to his relief, that it wasn't impossible. Patji would make it easy. Patji always did.
Across the room, Por slung an arm around Auau's shoulders with exaggerated coach energy. "Partner," he announced, "I'm a disaster. Prepare to carry me."
Auau laughed, head tipping back a little. "You're not a disaster," he said, and then, as if he couldn't help it, his gaze skated over Por's shoulder and landed—again—on Save. It stayed there a breath too long. Noticing. Checking. Save pretended to be engrossed in the practice schedule, tracing the grid with a finger that wasn't steady.
The bell rang. Chairs scraped back. The spell broke.
Students poured into the hallway, a tide of voices and metal locker clangs. Save packed slower than usual, letting the room empty around him. When he finally stood, Auau was already near the door with Por, laughing at something Patji had said as he cut across to join them.
"See you after?" Patji asked, bumping Save's shoulder.
"Yeah," Save said. He took one last look at the box, now just cardboard and tape again. Then he looked at Auau—just once, just enough to catch the small, soft smile that seemed saved for him alone—and forced his feet into motion.
In the hallway, the noise swallowed them all. Save breathed in, breathed out. The disappointment sat in him like a stone, but it didn't sink him. Not this time.
Random is random, he told himself. But what I choose—that's mine.
He slid his phone into his pocket without checking it, let his shoulder brush Patji's in the crowd, and carried the small, stubborn light of the morning smile with him, careful as a candle cupped against the wind.
---
The music started, gentle yet firm, echoing across the spacious practice room. Save adjusted his stance, trying to focus, but his thoughts refused to cooperate. The excitement he had felt earlier that day—the anticipation of seeing Aaua—had curdled into a quiet ache. He couldn't stop thinking about the moment when the partner names were drawn. His fingers itched to reach for Aaua's hand, but he had been paired with Patji instead.
"Por! Pay attention! You're two beats behind again!" the choreographer barked.
Save's gaze flitted across the room. There he was—Aaua, patient and composed, showing Por the steps over and over again. His hands guided Por's awkward movements, correcting the tilt of his shoulders, the placement of his feet. Each time Aaua's fingers brushed Por's, Save's chest tightened with an ache he couldn't quite name.
Por stumbled again, nearly losing balance, and Save felt a pang of guilt. Not for Por's misstep, but because a small, stubborn part of him had hoped that it would be he, Save, who got Aaua's patient smile, those quiet moments of guidance, those near touches that made his heart stutter.
He swallowed, trying to hide the sudden heat in his cheeks. His own steps became mechanical, his movements precise but lacking the natural rhythm he usually had. Every time his eyes darted toward Aaua, he caught him looking back—just once, a brief glance, and then returning to Por. That glance made him both ache and hope at the same time.
A laugh escaped Aaua's lips as he corrected Por once more, soft and melodic, and Save's heart twisted. He hated that he was jealous of his own friend. But more than that, he hated that he couldn't do anything about it.
He shifted his focus to his own steps again, counting quietly in his mind. Left, right, step, step… But the count faltered every time he saw Aaua's hands lingering over Por's. Save's chest tightened further. He wanted to tell Aaua how he felt, right now, in this room, with the music humming around them. But he couldn't. Not here, not yet.
The choreographer clapped again. "Eyes forward, everyone! Remember, practice makes perfect!"
Save let out a slow breath, forcing himself to follow the rhythm. He moved closer to the center, keeping his distance, but his eyes never left Aaua. He noticed the way his smile softened Por's frown, the small encouragement whispered to keep him going. And for some reason, Save felt a wave of admiration mingled with longing that he couldn't suppress.
His heart thumped a little faster as Aaua finally looked toward him—just for a second—his warm eyes meeting Save's. A small smile tugged at his lips, and Save's own lips curved instinctively. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine holding Aaua's hand, guiding him just as Aaua guided Por.
And just like that, the moment passed. Aaua turned back, focused on Por, and Save's chest sank. He realized then that today, nothing had changed externally—but inside, everything had shifted. Something had awakened in him, an urgent, quiet need he couldn't yet name.
Save's movements became steadier as he forced himself to focus on the music, but in the back of his mind, a single thought kept repeating: I have to find a way… somehow, he has to be mine, even if just for a dance.
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The day seemed to slip away faster than any of them realized. Classes had finished, the dance practice was done, and now the four boys—Save, Aaua, Por, and Patji—walked side by side along the quiet street outside the academy. The golden light of the setting sun stretched their shadows long across the pavement.
Por and Patji were chatting animatedly about something silly that had happened during class, their laughter filling the air. Aaua walked just a step ahead, hands in his pockets, calm as always. Save, however, trailed slightly behind, his mind far from the conversation.
He was lost in thought.
Should I… ask Por to switch partners with me? he wondered, his brows furrowing. If I were paired with Aaua, maybe I'd feel closer to him… maybe I'd get to know him more. But… what if Por noticed? He'd definitely tease me, maybe even in front of Aaua.
His chest tightened at the thought. He couldn't possibly tell Por—or anyone—that he liked Aaua. Not yet. So, with a small shake of his head, Save tried to push the thought away.
That small movement didn't escape Aaua's sharp eyes. Glancing back, Aaua tilted his head with a slight grin. "What's going on in that little brain of yours?" he asked suddenly, his tone playful.
Save froze. His eyes widened, blinking rapidly like a deer caught in headlights. "H-Huh?"
At once, Por and Patji turned their heads, sensing the chance for amusement. Both smirked knowingly, watching the scene unfold.
Aaua chuckled softly at Save's expression. "I mean, you looked so deep in thought," he said, his voice carrying a warmth that made Save's ears heat up. "What were you thinking about?"
Save swallowed hard, his cheeks tinged with a faint pink. "M-me? I wasn't thinking about anything," he stammered, shaking his head too quickly.
"Oh?" Aaua arched a brow, his lips curving into a teasing smile. "If you say so."
Por and Patji exchanged glances, their smirks widening. They didn't say anything, but the mischievous sparkle in their eyes said enough—Save's reaction hadn't gone unnoticed.
Save, desperately avoiding Aaua's gaze, quickened his steps to walk alongside Por instead. But the flutter in his chest betrayed him; no matter how much he tried to hide it, being near Aaua made his heart beat faster.
---
The night was calm, with only the faint sound of crickets outside the window. The dim moonlight slipped through the curtains and painted soft silver lines across Save's room. He lay on his bed, hugging the small black cat doll close to his chest, pouting as if the toy could magically solve his problems.
Save: (muttering) "How… how should I do it? I can't just say, 'Let's switch partners'… Por will laugh at me for sure. Patji will start teasing endlessly. And Aaua…"
His cheeks warmed instantly at the thought, and he buried his face into the stuffed cat.
Save: (whispering into the doll) "What if Aaua thinks I'm weird? No, no, no… that won't do."
He rolled onto his side, squeezing the doll tighter as if it could understand. For a while, he stared at the ceiling, deep in thought, imagining different scenarios—asking directly, creating excuses, or maybe waiting for Aaua to say something first. Every idea ended with him imagining Por and Patji's teasing laughter, making him groan.
Save: (pouting) "Ahhh… impossible! You're the only one I can tell these things to, you know?"
He tapped the cat's tiny nose, then suddenly smiled softly, his earlier frustration melting away.
Save: (in a gentle voice) "Goodnight… Blackie. Maybe tomorrow… maybe something will happen."
With that, he closed his eyes, hugging the cat like it was his most precious secret, and slowly drifted to sleep. The moonlight lingered quietly on his peaceful face, as if guarding his little secret wish.
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The morning sunlight spilled softly into Save's room as he buttoned his school shirt. His movements were calm at first, but his mind was restless, replaying last night's thoughts. As he adjusted his tie in the mirror, his eyes suddenly lit up, like a spark had just been struck in his brain.
A mischievous smile crept across his face.
He paused, staring at his reflection—almost as if he was proud of himself for what he just thought of.
He grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and whispered under his breath, almost playfully,
"Perfect… this might actually work."
Without explaining further, he headed out the door with a bounce in his step, leaving the audience curious about his secret plan.
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The morning air was crisp as Save quietly waited near the edge of the practice room, his back pressed lightly against the cool wall. His heart thumped rapidly, a mix of anticipation and guilt fighting within him. He glanced at his watch again, as if counting down the seconds until his plan could unfold.
"I hope this works… I hope no one gets hurt," he whispered under his breath, though the words felt hollow. Deep down, he knew he had crossed a line. But the thought of finally dancing with Aaua, even for a short rehearsal, was enough to push him forward.
Minutes later, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the hallway. Por appeared first, unaware of the small trick Save had set in place. A soft, almost imperceptible smirk of determination crossed Save's face—then a sharp pang of guilt twisted his chest.
Por's foot slipped on the slick surface, and a surprised yelp filled the room. His arms flailed, trying to catch himself, but the floor had been unforgiving. Save's stomach twisted. He wanted to rush forward, to help, but he froze, torn between revealing himself and keeping the plan intact.
"Por!" Aaua shouted, dashing toward his friend with a look of alarm. Patji followed closely, worry etched across his face. Save could see the concern in their movements, the way they knelt beside Por, checking him for injuries.
Save swallowed hard. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. I didn't mean for it to be this bad… I'm so sorry… he thought, biting his lip as he watched from the corner of the room. Every heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears, each one a reminder of his selfish desire.
Por groaned softly, trying to push himself up. "I'm… okay," he muttered, though the small wince he gave away betrayed him. Aaua gently helped him to a seated position, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "Take it easy," Aaua murmured, concern clear in his soft tone.
Patji handed Por a towel, checking the ankle he twisted. "You need to rest," he said firmly, eyes flicking around the room.
And there Save stood, hidden in the shadows, guilt gnawing at him relentlessly. I just wanted to pair with Aaua… I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Por, I'm so sorry… His lips moved silently as if apologizing aloud, though no sound came.
Por's friends fussed over him, their voices overlapping with concern, laughter at small jokes to lighten the tension. Save felt a tight knot in his chest, torn between pride that his plan had succeeded and shame that it had caused pain.
For a fleeting moment, Save's eyes met Aaua's. He saw worry, but also a spark of something warmer—an unspoken connection that made his heart both swell and ache. Save turned away quickly, hiding his conflicted emotions behind the wall, letting the chaos of care and concern play out in front of him.
He whispered again, barely audible: "I'm sorry… I'll make it right someday."
And yet, even as guilt weighed him down, a small flicker of hope remained. Tomorrow, he thought, he might finally get his chance with Aaua—but only if he could bear the weight of today's actions.
---
The practice room smelled faintly of chalk and polish, the soft echo of shoes against the wooden floor filling the space. Save stood quietly at the edge, watching, his heart thudding in a mix of excitement and nerves. His eyes couldn't leave Aaua, who was kneeling beside Por, helping him adjust his stance.
The teacher clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone! Performance is just a week away. I want full effort today. Por, why aren't you practicing?"
Aaua's calm voice answered immediately, "Por has hurt his leg, so he needs to skip today."
The teacher raised an eyebrow. "Hmm… I understand, but we only have a week. Will he be ready in time?"
Aaua shrugged slightly, looking genuinely concerned. "I think we should let him rest. He'll recover faster that way."
The room grew quiet for a moment, everyone glancing toward Por, who sat on the side with his leg bent carefully. Then, unexpectedly, Por spoke up. His voice was light but decisive: "Save can take my place."
Heads turned, surprised murmurs spreading through the group. Save blinked, frozen, his stomach twisting in disbelief. His partner, Patji, was suddenly ill, leaving him free. And now Por had just offered him the chance he had been dreaming of.
Aaua's eyes met Save's across the room, a subtle spark of anticipation lighting them up. For a moment, everything else faded—the chatter, the steps, the music in the background. It was just Save, Aaua, and that heartbeat-quickening possibility.
Por smiled faintly. "I can't practice with Aaua because of my leg. Your partner isn't here. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if we didn't do anything. So… why don't you two become each other's pair?"
Save's chest tightened. He hadn't planned this. He hadn't dared hope for it to happen so easily. He hesitated, his gaze flicking from Por to Aaua. And then… slowly, he nodded. "Okay… if this is what you want."
A subtle, satisfied smile spread across Por's face as he leaned back, letting the moment settle.
The teacher clapped once sharply. "Alright, everyone, back to your positions!"
The room began to buzz with movement. Save and Aaua took their places, hands brushing slightly as they positioned themselves. The first notes of the music began to play, and Save felt a tremor of nerves run through him. He could see Aaua's eyes, steady but warm, watching him carefully.
As they moved together, their steps synced almost instinctively. Every time their hands touched, even briefly, Save felt his heartbeat spike. He could sense Aaua's tension mirroring his own, the tiny tremor in their grip, the quickening of breaths.
Yet, amidst all that, there was a calm determination between them. Each step was careful but confident. Each spin and turn brought them closer, not just in space, but in the unspoken understanding that lingered in the moments their eyes met.
Save stole a glance at Aaua. His friend's fingers brushed his, and for a heartbeat, the world narrowed to the two of them, the rest of the room fading into a soft blur. His heart raced, yet somewhere beneath the anxiety, a quiet joy bloomed. This was the moment he had been waiting for—the chance to be close, to share a rhythm, to feel a connection without needing words.
The music continued, and Save's mind focused on nothing but the steps, the timing, and Aaua's hand in his. They were a pair, imperfect and nervous, but perfectly in sync with each other's energy. And for the first time in a long while, Save felt both the thrill of fear and the comfort of being exactly where he wanted to be.
---
The week had been heavy with practice, and Save's nerves were building for tomorrow's performance. Seeing the tension written clearly on his face, Aaua had suggested, with a small, teasing smile, that they go somewhere to relax—just the two of them. Save had hesitated at first, unsure if he could manage his shyness outside the familiar walls of school, but Aaua's gentle insistence had left him no room to refuse.
They first wandered into a tiny, cozy café tucked into a quiet street. The warm light from hanging lamps made everything feel soft, almost suspended in time. Save fidgeted as he slid into the seat opposite Aaua, hugging his black cat doll slightly against his chest.
"You've been so tense," Aaua said lightly, his voice teasing but gentle. "I hope you didn't think I'd let you stew all week."
Save's cheeks heated. "I… I can't help it. What if I mess up tomorrow?"
Aaua leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Then you mess up. Big deal. I'll be there watching anyway."
A shy, small smile tugged at Save's lips. The comfort in Aaua's words, the simple confidence, made his heart beat a little faster. He tried to focus on the tiny cup of hot chocolate in front of him, but Aaua's gaze made it hard.
To lighten the mood, Aaua suggested they share a dessert, picking a slice of strawberry shortcake to split. Save reached for the fork first, then quickly pulled back, embarrassed, and they ended up feeding each other small bites, laughing quietly when their fingers brushed. Each accidental touch sent a shiver through Save, and he quickly looked down, hiding the pink flush spreading across his cheeks.
After finishing the dessert, Aaua suggested a walk through the nearby park, where the last remnants of daylight mingled with the soft glow of lanterns. Leaves crunched under their shoes as they strolled side by side. Save kept glancing at Aaua, nerves still dancing in his stomach, but there was something calming about the quiet togetherness.
"You're awfully quiet," Aaua said, nudging Save lightly with his shoulder. "Thinking too much about tomorrow?"
Save's voice was almost lost in the soft evening air. "Yeah… I just… I don't want to mess it up."
"You won't," Aaua said simply, smiling at him. "And even if you do… I'm not going anywhere."
Their hands brushed again as they walked, and Save's heart jumped. They didn't hold hands—yet—but the simple, repeated touch was enough to make his nerves calm slightly, to make the world shrink down to just the two of them.
As they reached a small pond, Save stopped, watching the reflection of the streetlights ripple across the water. Aaua came to stand beside him, just close enough for Save to feel the warmth radiating from his side.
"You know," Aaua said quietly, "you don't always have to carry it all by yourself. Just… breathe."
Save nodded, letting out a slow breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "I… thanks, Aaua. Really."
They lingered for a few more minutes, talking quietly about random things—the funny way Patji had stumbled over a step earlier in practice, the new song the teacher had suggested, a small argument Por and Patji had had. Save found himself laughing more freely than he had all week, and each time his eyes met Aaua's, that familiar, comforting warmth made his heart swell.
Eventually, Aaua said softly, "I should walk you home. It's getting late."
The walk back was quiet, but comfortable. Their hands brushed often as they walked close together, but no one dared to reach fully for the other. It was enough to just feel the connection, to let the nervous excitement linger in the shared silence.
When they reached Save's house, he hesitated at the gate, glancing at Aaua. "Good night… we'll see each other tomorrow," he whispered, his voice almost shy.
Aaua smiled, gentle and encouraging. "Yes… see you tomorrow."
As they turned to walk away in opposite directions, their steps mirrored each other. At the same moment, they spun back, Aaua giving a small wave, Save returning it with a soft, sweet smile. And for a brief second, the nervousness of the week, the anticipation of tomorrow, and the fluttering of young hearts all seemed to pause in perfect harmony.
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— End of Chapter 18 —