Chapter 52: Lynn: God, Tony, You Vicious Capitalist
Lynn looked at Tony, who was looking pretty wrecked.
Lynn offered a hand and hauled him to his feet. "That's right. Those two green-skinned, magic-and-tech-wielding aliens... they said you destroyed their planet."
"Bullshit!"
Tony struggled to strip off the damaged armor. "I blew up one mothership in a wormhole. That was to save Earth. I've never 'destroyed' a planet."
"Sir, the aliens did specify they 'crossed time' to get here."
JARVIS chimed in. "It is possible they are from the future. Their stated mission was to kill you now, to prevent a future version of you from destroying their homeworld."
"What the fuck?"
Tony finally got the last piece of armor off and let out a sigh of relief.
But hearing JARVIS, he threw up his hands. "Time travel? From the future? That's bullshit. You're telling me people actually build time machines? Like in Back to the Future?"
He walked over to what was left of his bar, dug a surviving bottle out of the wreckage, and cracked it open.
He grabbed two glasses, handed one to Lynn, and poured. "You really think those guys could time travel? If they could, why not go back further?"
"Like, go back to when I was in a cradle and strangle me? Wouldn't that have been a hell of a lot easier?"
Lynn took the glass and sipped, listening to Tony's rant. "Who knows? Maybe the future you builds the time machine. Hell, maybe they used your machine to come back and try to kill you."
He thought about what Natasha had seen—Superior Iron Man Tony Stark, destroying a planet with a single glance.
'Yeah,' Lynn thought, 'maybe these aliens weren't bullshitting.'
"I'm not buying it."
Tony downed his drink, let out a long breath, and surveyed the wrecked room. "I am interested in studying these two, though."
"Their tech... and that magic. That portal trick just like Elsa Bloodstone's."
"Let's just… keep this off SHIELD's radar for now, buddy. What do you say? Let me get a look at them first."
"Whatever you want."
Lynn shrugged, leaning back against the bar, totally indifferent. "I'm not SHIELD. Has nothing to do with me."
Tony snapped his fingers, pointing at Lynn. "See? I love that about you. That 'not-my-problem' attitude. It's a rare gift."
Just as he said it, his phone rang.
He picked it up, and Happy's face appeared on a video call. "Tony, I gotta talk to you about something."
Tony stared at Happy's famously large forehead on the screen. "What is it? You hit on an intern again?"
He flipped the phone around to face Lynn. "Say hi, Happy. This is my new buddy, Lynn. Detective, NYPD."
"Uh, hi, Mr. Lynn. I'm Happy, Tony Stark's bodyguard."
"Hey, Mr. Happy."
Lynn raised his glass to the screen in acknowledgment.
"Oh, speaking of bodyguards, Mr. Lynn, you know what happens when I tell people I'm Iron Man's bodyguard?"
"They laugh at me. Mercilessly. I have to just walk away with my dignity. I mean, come on, Tony's not in the suit 24/7."
Happy's rant made both Lynn and Tony burst out laughing.
Even the heavy, post-assassination-attempt vibe in the room seemed to dissolve.
"Alright, Happy, what's up? What did you need?"
"Oh, right. Tony, Pepper's in a meeting with this scientist. Guy's rich. Good-looking, too."
"Okay."
Tony didn't seem concerned. He just took another sip of his drink. "And? That's normal."
"Tony, trust me. You know I'm a great judge of character. I ran a background check on him."
"His name is Aldrich Killian. We met him, back in '99, at that science conference."
"Don't remember him."
Tony set the phone down on the bar and put in a Bluetooth earpiece.
He walked over to the two alien corpses and waved Lynn over. "Come on, Lynn, give me a hand. I can't move these things by myself."
In his ear...
...Happy was still rambling. "...and I'm telling you, this guy…" Then he caught what Tony said.
"Wait, alien bodies? What alien bodies? Tony, did you find more aliens? And why is there a chunk missing from your ceiling? Did you wreck the place again?"
"Of course not."
He and Lynn hoisted one of the corpses. As they hauled it toward the downstairs lab, Tony grunted, "Had a couple aliens... attack me. Damn it... this guy isn't even as tall as me, how is he so heavy?"
"I swear this thing weighs a few hundred pounds."
"About four-fifty, I'd say. Must be his bone and muscle density."
Lynn stated the number casually, easily handling his side of the weight.
"What the fuck? Tony, you were attacked by aliens?"
Happy shot up from his chair. "I knew it! I shouldn't have left! I'm gone for five minutes, and you get attacked?"
"I'm coming back right now…"
"No, Happy, don't!"
They dropped the body onto a lab table, and Tony finally caught his breath. "Just… just stay with Pepper. I'm fine. I don't need you here."
"Fine."
Happy knew he couldn't argue. "So, where was I? Oh, right. Killian. At first, it was just business, but now… it's getting weird."
"He's… showing Pepper his brain."
Tony, who had just gotten back upstairs to get the second body, stopped. "He's showing her what?"
"His brain. It's... a giant hologram of it. And she's... really into it."
Tony had Happy fumble with the camera to turn it around, then sighed. "Look, Happy, just… relax, okay? I trust Pepper."
"I've got... stuff... here. I'll call you later."
He hung up and looked at the last corpse. "Lynn. This one's even bigger than the first…"
Lynn just looked at Tony's hopeful expression and threw up his hands. "God, you're a vicious capitalist, aren't you? You won't even pay for the heavy lifting."
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