Chapter 58: Lynn: Tsk. You Got Busted Talking Shit, Didn't You?
Half an hour later, inside Tony Stark's villa.
"I don't get it. Steve went to grab the guy, so why the hell is he bringing him here, to Tony's villa?"
Lynn asked, holding a glass of tequila.
"To keep him off SHIELD's radar."
Seeing Lynn's curiosity, Natasha explained, "You know Fury has a connection to them. And honestly, I have no idea how many Skrulls are already inside SHIELD."
"Which means Tony's villa is the only place we can operate without SHIELD looking over our shoulder."
"Exactly."
Tony Stark, who was standing nearby, nodded in agreement. "Ever since Coulson hacked my security and my elevator, right before the whole New York thing, I massively upgraded JARVIS's firewalls."
"Now, if SHIELD even tries to touch JARVIS, I get an alert instantly."
Lynn held out the file on the construction worker, Rick Davies. Tony Stark just held up his hands, refusing to take it.
"I'll take it."
Pepper took the file from Lynn and handed it to Tony.
"Don't take it personally, Lynn. Tony has this... thing. He doesn't take things directly from people's hands."
Pepper explained with a polite smile, worried he might be offended.
"Oh, I know all about that."
Natasha slung an arm over Lynn's shoulder. "After the Battle of New York, we had that party. I was playing bartender, made him a drink, and the bastard told me to just 'put it on the table.' Then he picked it up."
"I have no idea what his deal is. It's like he thinks the rest of us are covered in germs or something."
Facing Natasha's teasing, Tony just shrugged. "Every genius has their quirks, Natasha. And compared to some of those artsy-fartsy types…"
"...I think I'm pretty damn normal. Besides, speaking of this, have you guys seen the latest online poll?"
"An online poll?"
With one sentence, Tony had successfully changed the subject.
Seeing that Steve wasn't back yet, Tony raised an eyebrow. "The internet is voting on whether our famous Captain Rogers will finally get laid and lose the V-card."
"You know, in the last poll, over eighty percent of people thought he was still a virgin. Which, I mean, I agree with."
Natasha just looked at him, completely exasperated.
"What? You're not curious?"
Tony asked, puzzled by her lack of interest.
"Of course I was curious. And it cost me twenty bucks."
She pointed at Lynn. "He confirmed it. Steve is, in fact, not a virgin."
"No shit? For real?"
This time, it wasn't just Tony. Even Pepper looked at Lynn, her curiosity piqued. "Steve really isn't? When did it happen?"
"Ahem."
Just as Pepper's eyes lit up, ready for the gossip...
...Steve Rogers returned, dragging the Skrull-disguised Rick Davies with him.
Hearing Steve's cough, Pepper instantly blushed.
'She couldn't believe she'd been caught talking shit about him right as he walked in.'
Pepper looked embarrassed. Tony Stark, however, felt absolutely no shame.
He completely ignored the struggling Skrull.
His eyes lit up, fixed on Steve. "Steve! You're really not a virgin? When did this happen?"
"Oh, come on, Tony."
Steve shot him an exasperated look and shook his head, gesturing to the Skrull. "This is the mission."
"Fine."
Tony had JARVIS open the door to the underground lab and waved Steve inside with the prisoner. He hung back, walking last with Lynn, and immediately started whispering, "Seriously, though, when do you think he lost it?"
Steve's hearing was, of course, perfect. He heard every word.
But what the hell was he supposed to do with a teammate like Tony?
'Just pretend he couldn't hear him.'
Inside the lab.
The Skrull, still looking like Rick Davies, was strapped to a chair, struggling.
Steve was about to speak, but the Skrull cut him off. "Why did you grab me? I know you're the Avengers, you save the world, but does that just give you the right to kidnap people?"
"I haven't committed any crime! You can't do this! I'll call the NYPD, I'll file a complaint!"
Hearing the "threat," Tony just crossed his arms and shrugged. "You have every right to do that. But, uh, see that guy?"
He pointed to Lynn. "He is the NYPD. And you've got balls, I'll give you that. Living as Rick Davies for three years? Going to work at a construction site every single day?"
"Tell me, do all Skrulls have a thing for building construction and digging tunnels? Maybe you should stop calling yourselves Skrulls and just go with 'Planet of the Hard-Hats'."
The second Tony said "Skrulls," the imposter's pupils contracted.
He had no idea how the Avengers—and this random cop—knew about his species.
'Damn it, who leaked the intel?'
'How did they know we were here?'
"Mr. Stark, I don't know what you're talking about. Skrulls? I don't understand…"
"Your face already gave you away," Natasha cut in. "Your shapeshifting is good, but you're not trained. A simple micro-expression is all it takes to see the lie."
She held out her hand, and Lynn passed her the Truth Potion.
Seeing her approach, the Skrull panicked, straining against the chair. "What is that? What are you doing? Damn it, stop! Stay back!"
Natasha forced his jaw open and poured the potion down his throat. He coughed and sputtered, staring at them in terror. "What was that? What the hell did you do to me?"
"Truth Potion. I know our standard serum doesn't work on you."
She dragged a chair over, spun it around, and straddled it, leaning forward. "What's your real name?"
"En-Soluk!"
The name shot out of his mouth before he could stop it.
He couldn't believe it. He was completely lucid, yet the answer just... came out.
'Damn it! Why the hell does this planet have a potion like this?'
He clamped his mouth shut, even biting his own tongue to keep it still.
But he quickly discovered just how futile that was.
-----
HAND OVER YOUR GODDAMN INFINITY STONES!! 💎
Give my new original fanfic a shot, my dear readers.
You can find it on my profile or in the recommendation section below: Anime Crossover: Love Simulation System.