Mami lowered her head, the sudden kindness and the mention of her soul's burden proving too much. The gentle bubbling of the Bubur Ayam was the only sound besides her ragged breathing.
"The truth… it was the truth," she managed, her voice cracking as she finally succumbed to the tears she'd been holding back. "The despair. Not just the Witches, but… what we become."
The Weight of the Soul Gem
She lifted her small, trembling hand, pointing to her chest where her Soul Gem normally rested, hidden beneath her clothes. Even though the actual gem was suppressed by the field, the spiritual vacancy was still acutely felt.
"The source of our power… is a lie. That creature, Kyubey—it takes our soul, our essence, and puts it into a gem. Our bodies are just empty shells. And if the gem is cracked, if it runs out of energy, or if we fall too deeply into despair…"
Mami's gaze became distant, staring into a terrifying memory.
"We don't just die. We turn into Witches. We become the very monsters we spend our lives fighting. All the girls who died, all the battles... they were just becoming the next monster for the next girl to kill."
She began to sob openly, the deep, shuddering cries of existential dread.
"I realized... I realized I'm not a hero. I'm a time bomb. I'm just waiting to hurt someone else. I've been fighting alone, trying to be the perfect senior for Madoka and Sayaka, telling myself this path was noble, but it's just a cycle of cruelty. It's a contract for eternal damnation. I ran because I was afraid of becoming a Witch and killing someone I was supposed to protect."
She looked up at Agung, her eyes full of desperate pleading. "I can't go back. I can't fight anymore knowing that. All my bravery, all my sacrifice... it means nothing but a deferred monstrous fate."
The Despair of Isolation
Agung turned from the stove, stirring the porridge with one hand while keeping his eyes locked on her. The Bubur Ayam was beginning to thicken, the perfect texture forming.
"Mami-san," Agung said softly. "It is a horrifying truth. To realize the tool of your salvation is the key to your damnation is a burden no young woman should bear."
He pulled the pot from the heat. "Your fear is justified. Your despair is real. But listen to me. The courage you showed in fighting the Witches, the kindness you extended to Madoka and Sayaka... that was not a lie. Your actions were pure, even if the system was corrupt."
Agung ladled the creamy, white porridge into a bowl. He garnished it simply with shredded chicken, a drizzle of soy sauce, a scattering of fried shallots, and a pinch of spring onion. It smelled simple, clean, and overwhelmingly gentle.
He placed the bowl in front of her.
"The lie is the contract, not your heart," Agung assured her. "But you cannot fight an eternal damnation on an empty stomach. You need warmth, Mami-san. You need to remember what it feels like to be simply, safely, and truly human."
"Eat this Bubur Ayam," he commanded gently. "Right now, you are just Mami. You are not a magical girl. You are just a scared, exhausted young woman who deserves a bowl of comfort."