CHAPTER 21 — The Lake, Again
Ava's POV
For a moment, I honestly thought I was hallucinating.
When I reached the lake — our lake — I expected a quiet place. Somewhere still and alone-ness.
That was the whole point.
But instead…
He was there. Standing right behind me.
Ethan.
Ethan was there on the small grassy hill, a picnic basket in hand, sunlight outlining him like he'd stepped out of a dream I didn't want to admit I'd had.
I froze. My breath hitched and my heart lurched painfully in my chest.
He lifted a hand in a tiny, awkward wave.
"Hey," he said gently. "Surprise seeing you out here."
My throat tightened.
That voice—soft, steady, careful—felt like a warm hand against bruised skin.
I couldn't speak. Not at first. I didn't trust my voice to not betray me. I didn't trust anything.
He stepped closer, then stopped—giving me space.
"I, uh… brought lunch," he continued, eyes flicking to the basket. "Wasn't sure if you were hungry. But we could… I don't know… tear up some bread and feed the ducks or something."
He nodded toward the little flock drifting lazily near the shore.
A stupid sound came out of me—something between a hiccup and a strangled laugh.
I looked down at the ducks.
Then back at him.
"…You know you're not supposed to give ducks bread, right?" I whispered.
His shoulders slumped. "Seriously?"
"Yes," I said, a small giggle slipping out despite everything. "It's unhealthy."
"Well." He cleared his throat, trying and failing not to smile. "Shows what I know."
He waited—quiet, steady, not pushing.
I swallowed.
Then breathed.
And patted the grass beside me.
His eyes softened— relief flickering there —and he sat down.
He opened the basket slowly, like giving me time to bolt if I needed to.
Inside was the same soft blanket from our picnic, neatly folded. Lunch this time was chicken and avocado sandwiches wrapped carefully, some chips, and fruits and two sports drinks.
He handed one to me without looking directly into my eyes.
"For the Electrolytes," he said. "I… don't know much about running, but I do know you need these."
I took it.
My fingers brushed his. Just barely.
"Thanks," I murmured.
We sat there in silence. It wasn't awkward, but it felt like there was something in the air.
Just a deep silence that understood me before I did.
The water rippled, as the ducks drifted. And a breeze brushed over us gently.
Time seemed meaningless in the moment— God, how I wish for this moment to last forever. I thought but then reality seemed to remind me that this wasn't a dream.
The pain in my ankle pulsed, but the pain in my chest throbbed harder.
Then—
"…Ava?" he whispered.
I stiffened.
He sounded nervous. Scared even.
"Yeah?" My voice cracked.
He didn't look at me. He just stared out at the lake.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
I forced myself to give the safe answer first.
"The tumble wasn't bad," I said. "I think I twisted my ankle, but I'll ice it for a few days. I'll be—"
"No," he said quietly, turning toward me.
His voice was too soft, too sincere. It was almost too much.
"I mean… are you okay?"
My breath froze.
My world seemed to tilt.
And something inside me cracked open so fast I couldn't stop it.
"I—" My voice caught on a sob I tried to swallow. "It wasn't— I don't—"
Tears blurred my vision instantly, hot and unwanted. I shook my head, trying desperately to hold them back.
But the dam broke.
And It burst wide open.
Suddenly I was crying— ugly, shaking, humiliating tears spilling down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them.
Ethan froze.
"No, no— I didn't—" he stammered, reaching a hand halfway out before snatching it back again. "Ava, I'm sorry— I didn't mean to—"
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," I choked out. "It was just a warm-up run. It wasn't even the real race. I tried so hard. I really— really tried and then I—"
My words dissolved into tears and hiccups and shaking breaths.
"I made a fool of myself in front of everyone," I whispered, voice breaking. "In front of you."
He looked like he couldn't breathe.
But he still didn't touch me.
Not until I leaned forward—unable to stay upright anymore—and pressed my forehead into his shoulder, fingers curling into his hoodie like it was the only solid thing left in the world.
Only then did he move.
Slowly.
Gently.
He wrapped his arms around me—carefully, like he was holding something fragile and precious and terrifying.
And the moment he did—
I sobbed harder.
"I tried my best," I whispered, voice shattering against his chest. "Why wasn't it enough? Why does it feel like no matter how much effort I put into something— something always goes wrong? Why… why does it feel like the world hates me sometimes?"
He didn't tell me to stop. He didn't tell me I was overreacting. He didn't tell me I was fine.
He just held me tighter.
Just enough to let me know he wasn't going anywhere.
His hand smoothed slow circles between my shoulder blades. His breath shook once—barely—but I felt it.
"Ava," he whispered hoarsely. "It's okay."
"It's not," I cried. "It's not okay."
"I know," he breathed. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm not saying it is… but you're not alone. Not right now."
That did something awful and wonderful to me.
Time blurred.
Minutes passed.
Maybe longer.
Eventually, the sobs softened. Then they slowed, and finally faded. After the tears had dried I became very aware of how close we were, and what I just did.
How tightly I held onto him as I bawled my eyes out.
How his hoodie was damp where my face had been.
Heat rushed to my face in a burning wave.
"Oh my god," I whispered, pulling back too quickly. "I—I'm so sorry. I don't know why I— I didn't mean to— I'm sorry for crying all over you like a lost child."
He shook his head fast, his cheeks pink, but his voice was gentle.
"Don't mention it."
"No, seriously," I said, wiping hard at my eyes. "That was… really embarrassing."
"It wasn't," he said quietly.
Lie! But a sweet one... so I'll let it pass.
Before I could think, before I could lose my nerve—
I leaned in.
Pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
It was soft and warm, but to fast to linger.
He froze realized what I just did.
I froze, as I just realized how bold I just was. This was different than a 'goodbye kiss' like at the hospital...
Then—
"I'll, um— I should get back," I blurted, heat exploding across my face.
And before he could respond, before I could see his reaction, before I could do something even more stupid—
I bolted.
Well… limped, painfully. But adrenaline made me faster.
Each step sent a shot of pain up my ankle — but humiliation is a hell of a drug.
The locker room wasn't far, and I practically stumbled inside.Some of my teammates gasped when they saw me.
"Oh my god, Ava— your ankle—"
"Where were you?"
"What happened to your face?! Did you cry?!"
"I just— needed air," I muttered.
Then collapsed onto the bench as the throbbing in my ankle roared back to life.
And all I could think was:
Oh god. I cried on him then I kissed him, and then I just RAN on an injured ankle to get away.I want to die.
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Ethan's POV
I sat there alone on the grass long after she sprint-limped away.
My cheek still tingled.
My chest felt full and hollow at the same time.
I stared at the path she'd taken.
"…Did she not fall that hard?" I murmured weakly.
Because she'd run off like the track meet was starting again.
But the only answer was a duck quacking judgmentally.