There didn't seem to be anyone left outside for auditions, and the day was clearly winding down. The long, exhausting process had taken its toll on the organizers — they were openly yawning and checking the time. Finally, Evelyn suggested:
Niece, maybe you could check outside and see if anyone's still there? If not, let's call it a
Indeed, there was no one left. Flora peeked out, then came back into the garage and said, - That's it for today, Evelyn. We can rest now. - She had just started closing the rolling shutter when something slipped under her arm.
With a silent scream, the girl stumbled backward and slammed into the wall for support. If not for that, she'd have definitely passed out. Evelyn even put down the camera and rolled up her sleeves, ready to throw hands:
Get over here, you unholy What is it with you people today?
The reaction was understandable — the newcomer looked like a walking fever dream.
Standing right in front of them was a downright bizarre character — a living 90s- style track Costume. The entire Adidas outfit was painted like a Slavic Gzhel teapot, and the being wore cowboy boots with gleaming spurs, which, oddly enough, made no sound at all. Neither did the character. It just stood there, gently swaying like a pendulum.
At this - final boss, - Flora finally broke down, losing whatever managerial potential she might have had to begin with. Good thing Evelyn was around — she quickly regained her composure and made a guess:
Judging by the looks of it, you're a magician. If so, come on in and have a We like interesting folks.
A bodiless voice of unclear gender rustled through the room. Its tone started in a low bass and climbed up to a high alto. The result was rather creepy and downright paranormal.
I hear two She will come, but she will not sit.
Even though this contestant didn't have a head, he clearly saw just fine — he strode confidently toward the table, stopped next to the cameraman, and rocked back and forth on his heels. Evelyn was seriously on edge by now and, annoyed with her own cowardice, tried to pass it off as concern for her niece.
Sweetheart, come join Don't be shy. Let's have a little chat with our surprise guest.
Somehow pulling herself together (although, to be fair, the Costume didn't have hands either — or rather, it did, but they ended in a void where the palms should've been), Flora slowly and cautiously crept closer. She hesitantly pulled out a chair and sat down.
Now it was time for the nightmare portion of the show, and the new film producers were about to become involuntary participants in a surreal pantomime. No one said anything now, but everyone's emotions were on full display: Flora looked, as usual, scared out of her mind. Evelyn smirked with sarcastic delight. And Copy muttered:
The tip of this foolic iceberg just descended upon What's next? A job interview with Sasquatch?
The creature kept swaying side to side, as if about to bolt. But the illusion was shattered by that same eerie voice, now somehow doubled and fused — male and female tones tangled in one:
They are We have come to tell you a story, humans. Hear us out. The director gestured invitingly with her hand — please, go ahead. His friend recently merged with the biosphere, and his grave became the entrance to a newly formed underground kingdom of worms and nematodes. That man respected Her and wanted to reward Him after the life cycle ended, leaving behind the dearest thing he had — his veneers. But the funeral officials, meaning his family, forbade They left the veneers to rot in his decomposing body at the bottom of the tomb.
We had to act ourselves! She decided to go, having received a posthumous invitation from her friend.
Copy looked around and sighed heavily.
Pity I didn't leave my security team I'd have them toss out this fairytale freak. Evelyn, meanwhile, couldn't come up with anything better than a dumb joke: I wonder, who was his friend? A coat hanger?
The main figure in this performance — or at least, the one who should've been the main figure — Flora, remained silent. Her fear had mostly subsided, replaced by genuine fascination.
From an artistic point of view, she kinda liked it. And as for the fact that this was a living Costume with a terrifying voice — she tried not to dwell on it. Besides, the whole third- person, gender- switching act was… actually pretty impressive.
He made it all the way to the Arlington Cemetery in Lemuria, the City of the Dead… and Not Yet Risen. Conversations with the keeper led nowhere — he'd been dead in his guard booth for ages. So They searched for the resting place themselves. And finally, She found it.
It was a solemn marble crypt, adorned with bas- reliefs of howitzers and Muppets. By the entrance perched a statue of a hummingbird, feathers fluffed up. On its beak lay the veneers, covered in wet leaves. Barely trusting her micro- sensors, She stepped closer and claimed what was rightfully hers, brushing away the debris.
WHAT? - Everyone exclaimed in
And right then, a thought bloomed in her mind:
What if each one of the departed could share their teeth with Him? It doesn't matter what kind: gold
crowns, braces, or composite veneers. They're of no use to those who failed to cope with the mundane and passed on, but to Her, they could always come in handy. Of course, there are many tombs in the world, and They are but one. He'll need help with the excavations. They will take place beneath the ocean shelf.
This is the weirdest version of the Tooth Fairy I've ever heard. Standing ovation! — Copy clapped from the tabletop and turned to — Hey, scaredy- cat, how about opening that cute little mouth of yours and saying something?
While Flora was still recovering from the story, her annoying aunt was already firing off questions:
So, Magician — or whoever you are — maybe you're related to that puppet- master Campus? Or hey, maybe you are that weirdo! — She turned to her niece. — Pulling the strings on this thing?
Evelyn didn't wait for an answer. She was hard to shut up — unless interrupted by some major cosmic event, like what had allegedly happened to this guest's friend.
Here's the main question: how many drugs do you have to take to come up with all this — the outfit, the story, everything? Then come the smaller Like, why do you even need teeth if you don't have a mouth? Or a head? Or hands to even pick up veneers?
Are you joining Us or not? — The Costume interrupted her,
Joining you where? Robbing graves in Atlantis? Are you for real?!
At long last, Flora found her voice and asked the most reasonable question of the day:
Um… do you even know this is a casting call for a new movie? Is that why you're here or… not?
She has been accepted by Maybe accepted. Everything ends here and now. — the contestant (if that's what he was?) said cryptically, then strutted out, kicked open the gate with one foot, and paused to ask:
When and what time?
Day after Noon. Same place. — The director blurted it out almost involuntarily, caught under the spell of this eerie charisma.
He didn't even nod to show he'd heard—just vanished into the shadows, leaving darkness in the hearts and minds of his new employers.
The last recording had been reviewed, and Evelyn stretched with a satisfying crack of all her joints, loosening her stiff limbs while, of course, keeping up her favorite habit—talking:
—Well… that was definitely a casting to remember. You did tell everyone when we're shooting the first scene, right?
Flora, still stunned by the wild ride that was today's auditions, responded automatically:
—No, of course not. We haven't even finalized the cast yet. But I did get the numbers of the ones we liked. Wait a sec! — She straightened up. — Auntie, you were literally right there with me. You heard everything!
—I just wanted to make sure you're still sane and willing to chat a bit before we head home and pass out. — Satisfied, Evelyn went on. — You totally wiped?
Flora slumped into her chair and slid down until she was nearly horizontal, demonstrating how drained she felt. Her aunt fluttered around her with tender concern:
—Good thing I didn't forget my signature mushroom and seafood stew. Otherwise, we'd have starved to death in here.
—Thanks, auntie.
—What was your highlight today, by the way? And congrats on your first real experience! We just made a huge step toward your dream.
The director simply gave a thumbs- up—words clearly too much effort right now. But Evelyn kept her eyes on her, waiting, so Flora admitted honestly:
—I was scared they'd all start asking us for money to be in the film, even though we warned them it's all on a volunteer, creative basis. But turns out, none of them wanted a cent. We saved a ton on the budget.
—You're talking about the budget you don't actually have? God, you starving artists crack me up.
Copy
Her aunt tried to gently reframe Flora's answer:
—Well, not quite. More than half the people turned around and left as soon as we mentioned unpaid work. But a few stayed. So! Let's lock in the final cast for the movie—or maybe the series. Ready?
Flora nodded and started rummaging through her contacts, reading out numbers as she went…
——————
Wilhelm paused the film he was watching for just one second—long enough to log into the Network and leave a one- star review. Then he sat back to brainstorm a negative comment about this amateur trainwreck.
But there was still plenty of popcorn left in the package the drone had delivered, and the mountain goat had brought an entire case of soda on its soft, silky back, so the Overlord decided to suffer through a bit more of this so- called - masterpiece.