Ajax awoke from a start, instinctively reaching for the las-pistol he slept with underneath his pillow, a habit he had learned during the compliance of a jungle world inhabited by Eldar Exodites. He calmed down once he realized he was in a pure white bed with fluorescent bulbs beaming down upon him.
'Well, I must be in the infirmary. How did I get here? And since when did I start thinking I slept with a las-pistol under my pillow, or that I fought Eldar Exodites?'
The clarity of wakefulness washed away Ajax's confused thoughts, as if everything had been a bad dream. But, he still felt a slight sense of cognitive dissonance as if something was not quite right with him. Ajax sat up on the infirmary bed and looked at the leads connecting him to the arcane monitors that he only partially recognized. On one of the panels a soft white light began to softly blink on and off. Ajax heard some footsteps outside the white curtains that sectioned of his bed from the rest of the deck. A doctor or nurse of some kind stepped through the curtains dressed in a uniform of white overalls. He was a tall thin man with graying hair and glasses. It seemed like his name leapt to the fore of Ajax's mind, Chief Medicae Zaylek Varn. It was like he remembered it, even though he had never known it.
"What's the good word, Doc?" asked Ajax from his infirmary bed.
"There are some good words I have for you Hetman Kjarrick, followed mostly by many obscenities. But first, are you going to tell me who made it?" asked Chief Medicae Varn, as he fixed Ajax with a piercing stare.
"Made what, doc?" asked Ajax. But Ajax had a sinking feeling that he knew what the doctor was talking about. He was starting to remember events from Drogant Kjarrick's life. That was why he had ended up in this hospital. But the reason he thought he had ended up in Drogant Kjarrrick's body in particular, was because Drogant Kjarrick was already dead. He should have died from a seizure on the parade ground. An unfitting end for a man who had fought so hard to attain his current station. He was quite sure the chief medicae was referring to the contraband amasec that one of Kjarrick's troopers had made and shared with Kjarrick, which was what probably caused the seizure that killed Kjaricck and allowed Ajax to possess his body.
"Don't play coy with me, Hetman. It's plain to me from your medical records that you've been hiding a case of battle stress and have been self-medicating with all the alcohol you can get your grubby hands on. You used up your ration of alcohol and used contraband that was poorly made to fill in the rest. That's what caused the seizure that landed you in here.You're a good soldier Kjarrick, but don't forget I have the power to medically discharge you if I feel it is necessary." stated Chief Varn with a very forceful tone.
"Look Doc, you're right. I have been self-medicating. I will stop and get my trooper to stop producing. I'll even show up here every day the Five-Two is stationed on the Truth's Razor and let you test my blood or piss or whatever to prove to you that I am off the sauce. I just can't turn in my trooper." said Ajax to the Chief Medicae.
In truth, this worked out well enough for Ajax. He had been an alcoholic in recovery for about ten years at the end of his first life. He was going to need an excuse to not drink as Drogant Kjarrick. Now he had one.
"Look here Hetman, I don't want to hear any of your excuses...…What did you say?" the Chief Medicae asked, clearly flummoxed. It appeared as thought Varn had expected a fight over this and was perplexed when he hadn't gotten one.
"I said, you're right. I have been drowning out the bad dreams. But starting today I am off the stuff forever. I think I'll need some anti withdrawal drugs so I don't have another seizure from going cold turkey. I'll even sign whatever form that says I'm no longer entitled to an alcohol ration. And I'll submit to testing so you know I'm not fething with you, doc. The only thing I want in return is to not make me turn in my trooper, and let me deal with him myself. I think I've wanted to be done for a long time, doc. It's just taken hitting rock bottom for me to realize that my only option is to stop or die, and I can't die just yet." said Ajax.
It was a mostly true statement that drew from both the experiences of Ajax and Drogant Kjarrick. The hardest step for an alcoholic to get on the road to recovery had been said to be admitting to yourself that you were an alcoholic. Ajax had crossed that bridge a lifetime ago. Well, two lifetimes ago if you were beginning pedantic.
Chief Medicae Varn opened his mouth but no sound came out and he closed it again. It seemed this was not progressing at all how he had expected, and now he did not really know how to get started again. In a small voice Varn said, "Report to the infirmary everyday at 0600 ship time for testing. You show me no alcohol in your system for two weeks, and you have yourself a deal. You're still going to have to deal with the aftermath of the seizures. You have significant nerve damage that's going to flare up every time you over exert yourself. No company runs for you until we get that fixed. I am not giving you a fresh set of augmetic nerves right away, even if you are a Hetman. Especially, if I think you're going to waste them. I'd rather give them to someone who won't waste, even if they are a regular trooper. One month of sobriety and we'll talk about getting you fixed up."
Varn pulled a bottle of pills out of his pockets and handed them to Ajax.
" Those will make sure you won't seize, but you'll still feel the withdrawal. Don't feth this up. Uxor Cael wants to see you in the Archivum in 10 minutes. You better get a move on."
Chief Medicae Varn walked off in a daze. Ajax checked the instructions on the bottle, popped one pill in his mouth, and then hopped off the infirmary bed headed off to find the Archivum.