Ren truly had no idea how the entire day sped by so quickly.
One moment he was posing like a narcissistic noble model for Alina's sketchbook, and the next… he was in the grand dining hall, sitting at a polished mahogany table beside her.
Night had settled outside the large glass windows with several chandeliers glowed softly overhead, and Ren found himself waiting for dinner like a civilized human being instead of the feral goblin the original Ren apparently lived as.
There were four chairs around the long table which meant Stella Crowhurst… his new mother and his new father would likely be joining them soon.
The thought made a bead of sweat trail down his spine.
"Damn…" he thought, fingers tapping the table.
He was still thinking about the drawing Alina made of him earlier.
She'd captured his features perfectly.
His narcissistic instincts were screaming. He wanted to frame it. Hang it on a wall. Worship it. He'd never admit that out loud, but the desire was deep and real.
As Ren was in the middle of imagining himself walking past the portrait like a smug aristocrat, the head maid entered the room with several other maids trailing behind her.
Despite the years on her face, the head maid wore her uniform neatly and proudly.
They moved in synchronization like a trained military unit, lowering plates and unveiling dishes with such grace that Ren momentarily forgot how to breathe.
"Good evening, Young Master," she greeted warmly as a line of steaming delicacies landed before him… It was like she was blessing him with something that he longed. "I didn't expect to see you in the dining room."
Ren stared at the table.
He stared harder.
'What the fuck… I haven't had a meal like this in years,' he thought with his eye twitching.
He wasn't even sure he'd ever had a meal like this. Maybe once, when his parents splurged during Christmas, but even that didn't compare.
These dishes looked like something a fantasy king would eat after winning a war.
Back on Earth, his diet consisted of instant noodles, whatever snacks were on discount, and water that tasted like metal… It was good food as long as it helped him survive so he wasn't sure he could get used to having all this handed to him on a silver platter.
Ren swallowed, he was completely stunned.
His parents in his old life were well-off, technically, but they were so stingy they could give a dragon a run for its money.
They gave him money only when absolutely necessary… like when he needed to fix that damned washing machine when he was still in college.
Otherwise? Nope. Good luck, son.
"Do you usually serve food like this…?" Ren asked, attempting to sound casual.
He even tried to say her name, but the original Ren never bothered learning it, so he had nothing to work with.
"Yes, my lord," the maid replied. "Although you usually say you'd rather starve than come down to eat with the rest of them."
She lifted a dish cover, revealing a perfectly roasted chicken with sauce that smelled like actual heaven.
Ren felt tears form.
The maid continued without skipping a beat. "I'm guessing you changed your mind, my lord. That's good, because I will be stocking you up with vegetables so you can impress the Saintess with an even more muscular figure."
Ren froze with the imaginary fork halfway to his mouth.
He wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry.
The Saintess? The Hero's love interest? Why would he want to impress her? If anything, he was planning how to seduce the Hero's aunt.
That was where the real points were, he could directly cuck the hero later.
Mature women were usually harder to approach, but desperation made them… flexible.
According to the novel, The Hero's aunt was thirty and looking for a man who ticked every single checkbox on her ridiculous list.
And Ren was about to become that man.
Before he could fully drift into cougar-hunting strategies, Alina stood up and bowed politely. "Ah, Mother. Welcome."
Ren looked toward the door, and… oh.
He suddenly understood where Ren's looks came from.
A tall, elegant woman swept into the dining room.
Stella Crowhurst was undeniably beautiful… she looked mature and dignified, with sharp golden eyes and silky blue hair tied elegantly behind her shoulders.
Her beauty was the kind that made maids tremble and nobles revise their standards.
She was hot.
And Ren hated himself for noticing because holy hell, this was his mother now.
His blood mother.
His brain short-circuited for a moment as he tried to force himself not to think about it in any other context.
He cleared his throat, pointedly staring at the table.
Stella took her seat across from them, nodding politely as the maids stepped aside.
"Thank you, Duvy. The food looks excellent," Stella said, and the head maid… Duvy brightened with pride.
Then Stella's eyes slid to Ren.
She observed him for a long moment.
Her brows drew together.
And Ren? He was staring at the chicken like a starving wolf.
He wasn't even pretending.
His eyes were sparkling like a child on Christmas morning. And that was enough to make Stella narrow her eyes suspiciously.
"And my son…" she began slowly. "It's rare to find you in the dining room. I wonder what brought this change of heart. You usually insist on eating alone in your room to avoid being stained…"
Ren nearly dropped the knife he had carried.
He quickly shuffled through Ren's memories and yes.
The original Ren really did avoid the dining room.
He ate in his room every day, insisting that dining with "common people" (referring to his family and maids) was beneath him.
The desire to appear stoic and noble had overridden everything, including enjoying actual food.
The loss was entirely his.
Because Edwin was currently looking at plates piled with roasted meats, grilled vegetables, buttered bread, soups, cheeses, and desserts that made his stomach weep with joy.
He forced a polite expression.
"I realized… I'm not eating enough," he said casually. "And besides, we're a family, right? We should be eating together."
It was sincere.
Then he made his fatal mistake.
"Though I have to ask… where's Father?"
The fork slipped out of Stella's hand.
Alina's eyes widened comically.
Every maid in the room froze.
You could hear a pin drop across the mansion.
Ren stiffened. "…Did I say something wrong?"
For a full second, nobody spoke.
Then Stella stood so fast her chair screeched.
"PRIEST!!" she screamed. "HE'S HERE! COME PURIFY HIM! THIS IS NOT MY SON! IT'S SOMETHING IMPERSONATING HIM!"
Ren's soul left his body.
"WHAT?!" he choked.
Footsteps came thundering from behind him. Before Ren could turn around, someone placed a firm hand on his head.
"Don't move," a voice commanded.
The priest.
Of course.
The universe dragged him into the villain's body, into a noble mansion, and straight into an exorcism attempt on the first day.
Warm, tingling magic began to pour over his scalp, crawling into his body like holy water soaking into sand.
A new notification popped up in front of him.
『You are being purified』