"Rose! Rose!" Locious was desperately knocking at Rose's door. The night before, he tried to call her but she didn't answer. He thought that the best thing to do was to let her rest. But the next day, she didn't show up for work, and it got him worried. So after ten missing calls, he left the office in a rush and went to her house.
"It's been 20 minutes for god's sake. One more time, and I'll throw the door down," he said with a big knot of anxiety in his stomach. She couldn't have abandoned us just because of me and my stupidity, right? He thought and lifted his fist to knock one last time when the door opened.
"What??" Rose grunted, and the sight of her nearly brought him to his knees. He had seen her sweaty and tired when they were training, sad when learning about the ritual, having fun, and even drunk. But it was the first time he saw her with her brown dark hair in a mess and her t-shirt full of wrinkles. Her sleepy eyes were a little unfocused, and her voice was lower. And something burnt inside of him. It made him feel weak, and his mind filled with images that no Angel should be having about his subordinate or his friend. She had just woken up, but she looked so alluring, which filled his mind with lewd thoughts.
How would her hair feel if I grabbed it? If I stood behind her and twined her hair deeply in my finger, would it feel soft? Would she let me? He wondered, completely mesmerized by her long bob.
Her clothes were disheveled, as if she had been tossing around in bed the whole night. The cotton blue t-shirt she wore was too big for her slim body and too long for her stature. He followed the path on the t-shirt, and he could see the faint outline of her body, the soft curves only hinted at, ending in her toned, beautiful legs. He scolded himself but his mind was not obeying the rational part of him and his Primal Angel senses amplified the sight to obscene proportions until he couldn't take it anymore.
This shouldn't be happening, not with her, not with anybody. Not after everything I went through. Get a hold of yourself, Locious! He clenched his fist hard, almost puncturing his skin and closed his eyes. After a deep breath, he opened them again. Rose was looking at him as if he was a delirious person. He opened his mouth to explain himself but the sound that came from it was so unnatural that he forcefully closed it. Remember the consequences. Remember the pain. He reminded himself and calmer, tried again:
"I'm sorry for coming unannounced but you didn't come to the office and you were not answering your phone either. We thought something happened to you," he said. Actually, no one had said anything about Rose taking the day off. Even Sandy, when he called her to ask about Rose, said that it was his problem to solve and that she had her own things to do. So helpful! She was always putting her nose where she was not called, but when he needed her, she was just too busy.
"Wait... What are you talking about? My phone hadn't rung yet. What do you mean I didn't go to work?" she asked with a doubtful look. She probably didn't even know that it was almost 11 o'clock in the morning. The sun shining on her doorstep should have been a giveaway, but she was probably still in dreamland. She turned around and looked for her phone. When she found it and turned it on, she gasped. She started apologizing and reached to take off her shirt.
He coughed a few times. Just think about Hariiel. Think about Hariiel. It takes just a moment, just a bad choice… But he couldn't stop, so before doing something stupid and regretful, he decided to leave.
"Well, now that I know you are okay, I'll take my leave. Take the day off if you need it. Sandy will let you know if something happens," he said, coldly, not because he was angry, but because he was at his limit. He turned around and headed to his motorcycle. He needed to put some distance between him and her before he swept her into his arms and changed her clothes himself.
"Locious! Wait! I… I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for my behavior the other day with Sandy and Ben. You treated me so well, and were so friendly with me that for a moment I forgot you are my boss and I am your employee," she said in a plain voice. There were no tears in her eyes, nor breakage in her words.
There was something different in her, but he was too relieved to notice. She gave him the perfect excuse for his behavior. It was a valid enough reason to be angry as the boss, and so, he just needed to accept her apology. Once they got that done, they could go back to being the way they were before: friends, partners, coworkers, and that was everything he wanted.
"It's okay. I may have been too harsh on you. I forgot that you are a newbie and also, human. You deserve that I cut you some slack," he said and showed her his most bright smile. They closed the deal. Now it was time for them to go back to the easy times. However, her next words broke the glass castle he had created in his mind.
"No, I don't want you to cut me any slack. I need to learn. The day I passed the test and activated the energy within me, I made a choice. I decided to work for the Angel Society, and that's a vow I swore to maintain. So, you are the Angel, you are the boss, and I, on this day, promise to serve you as a loyal and righteous emissary," she said, and her cold words were like daggers aimed at him and landing with full impact. She didn't mention them being friends, or even ask him about the Angel Aura. It was almost as if she was saying she only wanted to be his employee, nothing more, nothing less.
"That's not what…" he started, but his phone ringing interrupted him mid-sentence. He listened to the speaker but never stopped staring at Rose, thinking about her words and her stiff position. He hung up and wanted to solve whatever was happening between them, but the mission came first. His duty ALWAYS came first. "Change. We have the two targets for today and you are coming with me."
**
They arrived at the office, twenty minutes later. Sandy was already in the conference room with Mike. This time she didn't feel anything when Mike looked at her full of disdain. Sandy smiled at her and motioned that they would talk later. She smiled back and nodded. She felt as if something had changed deeply inside of her.
The sight of her granny hit her like a wave. She had been like a piece of wood floating adrift in the middle of an ocean of conflicting feelings. She had been feeling self-conscious, lost, useless, and powerless. But then, despite the dreadful ending of it, the dream reminded her of the day she accepted her new lifestyle. The moment she decided she was going to make the world a better place. The day she saw the big divine opportunity she was given.
When Dyaion showed her the entry where her granny was listed, the years she worked for the Society, and her decision to leave because she fell in love with her grandpa, she felt as if she had suddenly uncovered a family secret. Her grandma was the sweetest person Rose had ever met. She wasn't a fighter; she liked to take care of her mother, and she loved them deeply. So finding out she had fought demons for years and went through the same training she did was not only surprising but also reassuring.
She remembered how she always thought that she was surely pressured to marry her grandpa. Despite their good relationship, her grandma never spoke about love. When they talked about their first time meeting, her grandpa always said how pretty she was, and how he fell in love with her at first sight. Her grandma, however, would smile and say that he was the simplest and most trustworthy man she could have married, but when she read that she actually left her life work, the one she seemed to love so much, for him she understood that she had indeed loved him.
There was also one last entry that was recorded. Apparently, her final words were automatically added into the book before her memories were taken away and she was sent back to Earth. However, only a descendant could read them, so no one but her knew what it said.
"If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would still love…" The next part wasn't written as if she was sent back before being able to finish it. She wasn't sure if she was talking about her job or her grandpa, but the words seemed to have been tattooed on her heart. She had forgotten about the fire she felt in her heart when discovering it, everything she could achieve. It was in her DNA, and she couldn't continue walking the path of self-doubt and futility.
Everything she had learned, every hit and bruise, every failed chant, and every limit she broke brought her here: the place she earned by leaving everything she ever knew behind. Was she really going to lose the position she got just because of her pride? Because she made a mistake? Because of some confusing feelings? No, she belonged to the Society, and she was going to prove it: To herself, to Locious, to everyone else.
Apologizing to Locious: Checked. Reminding myself of the boundary in our relationship: Checked. Now, it's time to show that I'm a real agent, and focus on the mission.