The atmosphere in the practice room was tense throughout due to the aftermath of the small clash that had occurred between team members earlier.
"...Joo-an hyung. I'll keep the beat."
"Oh, uh. Okay...."
"From the beginning, start from the beginning again. One, two—"
Ji Hwa-seong's voice, which had always resonated loudly throughout the practice room, was now stiff. Perhaps because his teammates had always practiced according to his orders, they seemed even more intimidated.
It's going to come out with a subtitle like .
This situation was not good.
Not for anyone here.
There was already trouble between Kim Joo-an and other trainees, and it was caught on camera in a personal interview, but before it could even be resolved, another trouble occurred?
A place where people who love to gossip flock like moths to a flame.
Maybe it's because I have idol experience. I could vividly picture the community posts and SNS reactions that would come out in this situation.
Stuff like [Your personality is crazy] directed at Ji Hwa-seong, or [F*ck, those unmotivated guys are ruining our Hwa-seong's future, right? It's so frustrating, right?] directed at me and other trainees.
...That's a bit difficult.
I opened my mouth, intending to talk things through and move on, since we'd already come to this point. It was around the time Kim Joo-an's part was about to begin.
"Sorry, we had to rest for a moment—"
"--Logan!"
And as if he had anticipated my thoughts, Ji Hwa-seong suddenly raised his voice.
It was because Logan had taken another wrong step.
"Oh, this- this is really hard. My feet keep, Opps."
Perhaps it's because he hadn't danced much before, Logan struggled particularly with the step choreography, making another mistake in the part Ji Hwa-seong had repeatedly pointed out.
Ji Hwa-seong said in annoyance, ruffling his bleached hair.
"This is getting hard… we've been talking about this constantly…!"
"God, Sorry. I'm sorry. I meant to..."
"Instead of being sorry, you should fix it. Do you know how many times this has happened? It's already the 7th time. Don't you think this is really too much?"
"...Oh."
"Hey, Hwa-seong..."
As the situation was about to get heated, Seo Bin hurriedly separated Hwa-seong and Logan. Even so, Ji Hwa-seong's mouth didn't stop.
"I'm trying to do well, why's no one helping me? Isn't this a really bad situation? Seriously, I..."
"—Ji Hwa-seong is acting like a dictator now!"
But then suddenly Gao Yan popped out.
...Why are you suddenly?!
"Oh, Chunyong-ah…?"
While I was unable to hide my embarrassment and tightly held onto Seo Bin's shoulder, Ji Hwa-seong, widened his eyes at Gao Yan and asked back.
"What now…"
"Chunyong hyung knew that Bin hyung was not good at dancing and tried to help him. But you! You just kept treating us like idiots! If we can't do it, teach us, Chī xiàn*!"
[*痴線* (chee.shian) - Idiot]
Why are you bringing me into this!?
Sure, while Hwa-seong had been… exchanging opinions with the other team members, I was watching Seo Bin's choreography, but I didn't want to be mentioned in this way.
I was just trying to do well on stage, that's all!
Still, an imaginary siren started flashing red.
It's an emergency.
"Ji Hwa-seong isn't the only one! There are six of us right now!"
Gao Yan, who was spitting fire with complete obliviousness to the camera. The other team members were looking around in confusion or staring at Gao Yan.
Of course, I ran to Ji Hwa-seong first.
"...Is that what you want to say to me now?"
That guy won't tolerate it.
Ji Hwa-seong was the type of person who would speak with deep consideration for the camera.
While the production team would edit out Gao Yan's swears in Cantonese, Ji Hwa-seong wouldn't need any editing.
"Are you picking out what I'm lacking? Was I the only one bragging? I don't think so. Everything I said was fine."
"Hey, hey Hwa-seong...."
"Fine, since you've brought it up, I'll be honest with you. I know that Chunyong hyung has been helping others separately. But has anyone come to the practice room without my orders before? Or has anyone been practicing extra separately?"
"Well, no… but-"
"Do you really want to debut? Looking at it now, it seems like I'm the only one who wants to debut. I'm the only one who desperately wants to."
Ji Hwa-seong's words were blunt, adding to his pride as an AG pureblood trainee who would never be subjected to evil editing.
I desperately covered the camera with my back and whispered to Ji Hwa-seong.
"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Ji Hwa-seong. Aren't you a bit heated right now?"
"...Move. I need to deal with that guy."
Ji Hwa-seong grumbled at me, his face pale and furious. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my sleeve and continued.
"I know what you're thinking, but if we continue like this, things won't get better. So let's stop here for now. Okay?"
"What do you know, hyung?"
I spoke quickly, out of earshot of the camera and other team members.
"No matter how much you say you're an AG pureblood, you're still part of President Do's line. Do you think the PD would take care of you that much?"
Ji Hwa-seong's face became blank for a moment after hearing my words.
And then he spoke with his mouth agape.
"...what did you say?"
Yeah, I'd rather have this kind of reaction.
I hurriedly made Gao Yan and Ji Hwa-seong shake hands and shouted out with forced cheerfulness.
"Hey, make up quickly, make up! We've never fought before, but make up quickly anyway!"
Right, we've never fought.
Why would idol trainees fight?
At my sudden shout, Gao Yan, who had been grumbling, raised his eyebrows in slight bewilderment.
"...Huh? Huh? Chunyong hyung? What's this about reconciliation?"
"C'mon, make up! Men usually apologize right after they've said something harsh to each other. Right?"
"I didn't say anything harsh! ...but what kind of man are you talking about, Chunyong hyung?"
"Dàgē*."
[*大哥* (dah.guh) - Means "older brother", but can also be used as "mate" or "bro", or to call someone who's slightly younger]
After hearing my words, Gao Yan suddenly calmed down and reached out to Ji Hwa-seong. His face became extremely serious.
"...Sorry, Hwa-seong. I got carried away."
As expected, the power of the word "hyung" was truly great, regardless of nationality. I nodded slightly and whispered to Ji Hwa-seong.
"Ji Hwa-seong, you too. Hurry up."
Then, Ji Hwa-seong, who had been frozen with a puzzled expression, pouts and extends his hand.
And so,
"...I got carried away too, Gao Yan."
Not exactly an apology, but anyways.
I clicked my tongue.
As the situation was somewhat resolved through my mediation, the other team members joined in to reconcile one by one.
"Things like this can happen... I understand Hwa-seong's feelings, and Gao Yan's too."
"That's right. Hwa-seong, I'm so sorry. Seven times was too much. I won't get it wrong again, really."
"...neither of you said anything wrong."
…Meanwhile, Kim Joo-an, who was displeased with both me and Ji Hwa-seong, glared. He didn't seem to like the fact that I stopped Ji Hwa-seong from self-destruction.
"Ugh."
I shook my head and sighed deeply. Why was this hamster so sinister?
But anyways…
With everyone agreeing that the chaotic atmosphere would hinder practice, the early morning practice ended about an hour earlier than usual.
In the dark hallway leading back to the dorms, Gao Yan and Logan, walking together, spoke in small voices.
"...I really need to do better. I've never seen Hwa-seong this angry before. Ma mistake."
"Yeah, Logan. Now that I think about it, you've gone too far. Seven times? Gao Yan was fixed in five."
"That's true too... Oh? Chunyong hyung, where are you going?"
"Ah, you two go in first."
I waved to them, pointing to the first floor.
"...I think I'll need to talk to him."
To Ji Hwa-seong, specifically.
* * *
"You guys head back first. I'll turn off the lights and tidy up the equipment before going in."
I don't know about others, but I wouldn't ever believe that. What kind of person was Ji Hwa-seong? Would he just quietly go to sleep like that?
"...I knew it."
As I expected, Ji Hwa-seong was still sitting alone in the middle of our team's practice room.
Perhaps because he didn't want to show that side of himself, Ji Hwa-seong even covered the camera with his hood.
If PD Joo sees that tomorrow, he'll think that we trainees are just nothing special.
I cautiously opened the practice room door and went in. With his face buried between his knees, Ji Hwa-seong didn't even glance up as he answered.
"Oh, I'm almost done. I'm just a little sleepy..."
"Hey, it's me."
Hearing my voice, Ji Hwa-seong turned his head so sharply it made a sound.
Those tiger-like eyes were demanding an explanation from me.
Well, I did come here to talk to him…
"If you're done, should we go out?"
Not here.
'The camera will pick up our voices here.'
When I pointed outside the practice room, Ji Hwa-seong quietly shut his mouth and followed me.
It felt like my past life when we debuted together.
I guided Ji Hwa-seong towards the emergency stairs leading down to the basement, feeling a little lost in thought.
"...Why are we down here?"
"There's no cameras between the first and second floors."
"..."
"Oh, don't worry. Even if our voices echo, it won't be picked up there."
I once saw Liu Wei getting angry at Li Ming Shen here, so there's no way I'll forget.
"No, really, what the heck, hyung….."
Ji Hwa-seong facepalmed, as if he found it so absurd that I had chosen such a place. I sat down on the steps naturally and patted the spot beside me.
"Let's sit down first and talk. Don't your legs hurt?"
"Well… I guess so..."
Ji Hwa-seong sat down right away and voiced his thoughts.
Hyung.
"How do you know things about my company that even I don't?"
I thought you might ask this.
'How wouldn't I? Director Shin, who had received investment from China, resigned when Liu Wei left the group. I've been with AG for eight years, bro.'
I can't say this, however…
I licked my lips and carefully chose my answer.
I thought about it briefly.
"I guessed half of it."
I decided on a story that was half truth and half lies.
It was more natural like that. Ji Hwa-seong's eyes widened at my answer.
"...yes?"
"Half of it is speculation. Even if I'm from a different agency, I'm not deaf. Right now, AG is trying to expand its idol business by bringing in a new Director and the Chinese capital."
"What does that have to do with my position..."
"I'm just trying to stop you. And honestly, because of the Chinese capital, we'll have to support Chinese members whether we like it or not. Director Shin would probably feel more comfortable with a Chinese member joining rather than an AG trainee who has little influence on him."
At my words, Ji Hwa-seong suddenly looked thoughtful. I hastily added, worried that he might misunderstand.
"Gao Yan is an individual trainee. You know he's from Hong Kong, right?"
"Of course I know! I'm not so clueless…"
Well, I guess he didn't know.
Anyway, Ji Hwa-seong nodded, opening and closing his mouth several times as if he had something to say, but didn't know how to.
"Then, brother…"
Why did you stop me?
Ji Hwa-seong really was smarter than I thought.
"If you'd known that, you could've just let me completely ruin myself. You had a good opportunity to get good editing when Gao Yan brought you up back then."
Ji Hwa-seong folded his fingers one by one and mentioned the mistakes he had made.
"I nagged at Logan unnecessarily and yelled that I was struggling alone. A leader who only thinks of himself, and a hyung who cleans things up after him. Wouldn't that sound pretty on TV?"
"Huh... you thought about this and still said all that earlier?"
"At the time, I was sure I wouldn't be a victim of evil editing. I was sure it'd all go in my favor."
Ji Hwa-seong clenched his fists tightly. Then, looking straight at me, he chewed on each word as he spoke.
"So, hyung, answer honestly."
Why did you do that?
"..."
I closed my mouth for a moment and stared at Ji Hwa-seong.
Bleached blonde hair, a pale face, and even uneven eyelids due to fatigue.
All of which fit together with Ji Hwa-seong, a member of Arrows.
Memories of our shared struggles flooded back into my mind, how I caused him to suffer so much.
"Why should I go there? I don't want to! I just want to quit everything!"
Me who drank alcohol, threw up on stage, collapsed, and unilaterally ran out of a fan meeting. Hwa-seong even cried and held my shoulder as I screamed that I couldn't do my schedule.
"Hyung, I know you're having a hard time. I know it's been hard. But if you do this..."
It's difficult for me too.
Looking at that face now, how guilty did I feel?
So I answered honestly as Ji Hwa-seong wanted.
"...you're just good at it."
"Good at what? What does that have to do with you covering for me?"
"Because I want us to debut together."
"..."
I continued talking as Ji Hwa-seong kept his mouth shut.
"I'm definitely going to debut this time. But… I just think it would be nice to have someone as good as you on our team."
"What…"
"I'm better at singing than rapping, and I'm better at dancing than singing. Out of the 18 of us, you're the best at rapping. Aren't you an essential member for the team? That's why I did it. Do you find this strange?"
Ji Hwa-seong didn't respond for a moment. But I knew who he was thinking of in that silence.
I asked Ji Hwa-seong in a cunning manner.
"I think that answers your question. Didn't it?"
Ji Hwa-seong, whose head hung low at my words, let out a deep breath. His bright blond hair blew wildly with his breath.
"...No. Not at all. You're just being cool about sticking to me, hyung."
"What? Hey, when did I ever stick to you?"
"Alright. I understand."
Before I could finish speaking, Ji Hwa-seong suddenly stood up and looked at me.
His eyes were shining like the bright yellow sun again.
"You'll see what happens. I'll carry you properly again starting tomorrow. Let's pretend today never happened."
I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the face of Ji Hwa-seong that I already knew.
"...Do as you wish, man."
A hearty conversation with my old member.
Outside the window, the sun resembling Hwa-seong's eyes began to rise rapidly.