(Tou)
Recently, my fixation, no, my obsession has been on my faults. As the days go by, it seems as if they are drawing nearer to something.
I have not been able to touch an assignment. I haven't even felt like tormenting someone for my own pleasure. Procrastination. It's a self-imposed sickness with no source, and I might just be patient zero. No one else around me has this overwhelming laziness that etches into their everyday life.
Nothing like this has ever happened for…
Agh, thinking about it too hard suddenly gives me a headache as well. Is this what they call a writer's block? An artists block? Except, my art is a sadistic, dastardly one. An art nonetheless. The only art that will ever satisfy me.
My train of thought was interrupted by noise. Knuckles rapped against a door. My door. Tap. tap.
"Who is it?"
Without even answering, the visitors opened the door, a gust of warm air blowing into the room.
It is spring after all.
Maybe I should… pick out some flowers, or something.
"Surprise!"
Standing before me at my doorsteps were two people, in my age group. They were my good friends, Marco and Ailsa. Looking behind them, the sun was in the middle of the sky, a bright warm color.
I mumbled, "You guys…"
"You've been locked up in this house for the longest. We barely even see you at school, Tou," Marco spoke, as he clicked his tongue. His arms were crossed, a little bit of annoyance in his face. Ailsa had much more a forgiving expression on her face, one of worry.
You aren't my mother. So why are you looking at me like that?
"Are you alright, Tou?" she finally asked.
"I'm fine. I've just been slumped. School is really hard, and I'm just now realizing this. I guess all the hard classes I've chosen is starting to pile up, haha."
"…"
"…"
Was that… was it really that unconvincing? The way you guys are looking at me right now, jeez… You'd think I had just made a joke.
"I-I'm serious," I reiterated.
"Tou doesn't stutter!" Marco remarked. Ailsa let out a sigh.
This guys…
I'm glad they care, but there is a lot more that I should be-
Fwsh!
My eyes caught wind of a rock. It was moving quicker and quicker towards the pair of teenagers standing outside my house. It was blaringly loud, the wind drag sounding like air being blown into a bag. So why are you guys just standing there!?
I stretched my arm out, with an open palm. An uncontrollable desire to protect my friends took over.
\[Cast: Frostbite Chains\]
Rising from the ground, eight chains shot out, creating an net of the sort.
However…
The rock… disappeared?
"Tou, what was that?!" Marco exclaimed. The chains retracted into the ground.
I slammed the door shut.
There was only one explanation.
He stood there, leaning against my wall. That tall, grey haired man. On his face, was plastered an irritating smirk. That was the man who went by the name Cerat.
"…"
"So you're starting to understand, right? Internal conflict is never good for the mind."
"Shut up! It's you who's making me like this, right? Hurry up and fix it."
"Wow. You're really worked up over nothing. Surprisingly, someone as sickening as you cares about his friends. At least that part of Julian remains in you."
"Shut up!"
My hand shot toward the table, grabbing a glass. My tight grip had caused me to already shatter it whilst in my hands, but I still chucked it toward Cerat.
I know he's gonna duck past, it's gonna phase through. But he's seriously pissing me off!
"Alright, Tou. In the end you'll be longing for your original body, and you'll help me anyways. It will be far easier if you give up right now. So how about it?"
I threw a framed picture toward him.
"Go to hell!"
Another glass was thrown.
"Damn it… you're a lost cause."
Just like that, the Cerat in front of me disappeared. I was left with the scenery of my house. Shattered glass on the floor. My finger tips dripped with blood.
"This… this is a mess…"
A pounding sensation banged at my finger tips. All I could hear was ringing.
Is this a headache?
A pounding at my head.
I can feel my heartbeat in every cell of my body.
I ran toward the kitchen, with shaky breaths. My vision was blurred, but I knew what I needed. A shaky handed barely grabbed at a knife placed in the top shelf.
Yes, that's it.
The price of even thinking about hurting my friends…
I'll take my own life, and you'll never get your own body.
Haha…
My hands quivered, but my soul was unwavering. It was as if my body and mind were not in unison.
"D-damn it!"
The knife inched closer and closer toward my neck.
But then it all went black.