Sudden Word About Successful Success.
No, I am absolutely not ready to give the floor to anyone else, and so I shall continue!
– Oh yes, Messir! Don't stop for even a second! – The audience writhes in ecstasy. A barista — who yelled loudly to let everyone know he is a barista — quickly whipped out his entire toolkit and started shaking up drinks, treating anyone who was interested. And the Office-Worker continued obediently along the assigned path:
A little girl or boy doing sneeze-speed challenges on the Internet and an employee of a nuclear power facility. What is the nature of their existential conflict?
Well then:
Positive comments under a video are more important than positively charged particles.
A cation doesn't get many views. Capybara farts absolutely do.
Demand creates the market, and today I'm already pretty sick of athletes (bloggers, artists) too.
That is, the undeniably important work of that little boy or girl online — sells much better and attracts the bees of sponsorship, buzzing toward that sweet nectar of "clip-thinking" consumers.
A basketball player's veneers look way better on a billboard than the unwashed and un-ironed lab coat of a microbiologist.
So, what conclusion naturally follows?
First and foremost, dear Barista, you could make me a cocktail too, instead of just pouring hot water for that dude over there.
And besides that, it's time to shake you all up a bit, pull you out of your comfort zone and make you more open-minded (whew, I was afraid I wouldn't get to use those sacred key phrases today!).
You, my not-yet-expensive (due to your lack of funds) chufus, must remember:
Choose the most pointless and useless profession for yourself.
The comfy chairs you sit on, the bridges you drive across, and the food you eat — let all that be created and harvested by those who don't attend my paid speeches. You, after all, are the chosen caste.
– We are! We are! Wa-Wa-Gua-Wa!
Don't get too cocky. I can fire all of you. So keep doing the most meaningless crap, always checking whether it's trending or not. Your goal is to get rich and never work for the man again — you must evolve into the final stage of career development: a streamer. Or… whatever comes next.
So go for it and keep bringing me profit in the form of royalties for the Path I've created for you. I accept all currencies, so you don't even need to convert anything. I especially value Sumerian silver bars and hugs (not for me, obviously — for Stacy, she's into that kind of madness).
A Sudden Word the Meaning of Life.
There is none.
But there will be:
The Further Thoughts of Master Maiji Kuiper and the continued and completely irrelevant fate of the Office-Worker will be revealed in the next part...