SERAPHINE POV
Everyone was asleep. Well… everyone else was asleep.
Meanwhile, I was lying inside my tent like a cursed burrito, sweating bullets, pupils dilated like a raccoon on caffeine overdose, and fully regretting drinking three cups of that suspiciously overly floral musky camp tea that tasted like it was boiled with grass, despair, and maybe a hint of expired lavender.
I tried closing my eyes.
Failed.
Tried thinking of happy things.
Failed.
Tried counting sheep.
But apparently my imagination only summoned evil demon sheep with glowing red eyes tap dancing to dramatic ballroom music, which—according to every survival instinct ever—was not relaxing.
I rolled over, tossed, turned, kicked my blanket, kicked my pillow, kicked my dignity into the night… and then sighed.
Hard.
Like heroine-who-is-about-to-make-a-terrible-choice hard.
Because not only was I unable to sleep, I was also blessed/cursed with a curiosity level that could kill nine cats, resurrect five, interrogate them, then still ask the tenth one for directions with a suspiciously friendly smile.
Also—
I was not alone.
Floating beside me, like a morally questionable emo fairy godmother, was my shadow gremlin.
Chubby. He was three palm-sized bundles of darkness, sarcasm, and questionable ethics, hovering like a possessed balloon with too many opinions.
"My Lady." he whispered, dramatically, as if auditioning for a ghost-themed opera.
"The mine still holds secrets. Go. Now."
I blinked at him. "Is it treasure?" I whispered back.
Chubby made a dramatic shadow wiggle, the kind that suggested either fabulous mystery or imminent doom. "Possibly. Also maybe death. Hard to say. Odds are… refreshingly unpredictable."
Wonderful.
So the options were: riches or corpse.
Classic.
And I?
Well, I was born with no magic, no political power, no knightly combat skills, no main-character insurance, and absolutely no common sense…
So naturally, obviously, logically—
I went. I was stupid that way.
I peeled out of my blanket, attempted to ninja crawl, and immediately elbowed a metal cup that clanged like church bells summoning demons.
I froze.
No one woke up, thank the gods of bad choices. I grabbed a lantern, tiptoed out of the tent, tripped over a rope on my way out, and nearly face-planted into the campfire ashes, but don't worry — I survived with elegance, charisma, and minimal dirt on my lip.
Chubby floated ahead like a smug spirit guide. "Faster, mortal bean. Destiny awaits."
"Can destiny maybe wait until after breakfast?" I hissed.
"No."
Okay then. The mine entrance loomed in front of us, dark, silent, eerie, and incredibly not OSHA certified. Like any sane untrained civilian with zero survival guarantee… I marched inside.
The tunnel air felt chilly and damp, like the inside of a haunted refrigerator.
Shadows crawled along the walls as my lantern flickered like it was rethinking its life choices too.
I swallowed. "Chubby, if anything scary moves, scream, okay?"
Chubby blinked his glowing tiny eyes. "Screaming is for cowards. I shall observe silently while you panic."
"…I hate you."
"No, you don't. You're lonely. And these mines were once our lair. I know every nook and exit, do not worry."
"Rude but accurate."
We moved deeper. My footsteps echoed like I was stomping into my own horror movie audition and couldn't escape due to a strict contract agreement.
Suddenly—
Something shifted. A cold draft brushed past my shoulders like ghostly fingers.
My lantern dimmed. I felt goosebumps racing down my spine like Olympic sprinters and my soul sent a formal resignation letter.
Then…
I heard them.
Whispers.
Hissing.
Floating.
Gliding.
The wraiths.
Like Alvin the chipmunks singers.
But instead of screaming or attacking like the horror textbook suggests…
They froze. All six of them stared at me like I was a rare species of confused dumb human pokemon.
One leaned closer, its smoky face unreadable.
Then another gasped dramatically: "Oh my stars, she came BACK."
"Boss is that you?" The other asked Chubby. "The boss is back! We are saved from the fat lady."
Another squealed, "IS IT FINALLY A DATE?"
The third clapped ghost-hands, "Their chemistry is UNDENIABLE."
WHAT.
WHAT IN THE AFTERLIFE WAS THIS.
Chubby sighed. "Here we go…"
A bold wraith hovered eye-level, too close to my face for personal-space safety regulations.
"So… where's the tall alpha-hero-knight one with the glare? Hmm? You two fight like enemies but stare like soulmates—classic pairing."
"I— WHAT? NO. WE'RE NOT— THIS ISN'T— I'M HERE FOR SECRETS AND TREASURE NOT… WHATEVER THIS IS!"
"Oh sweetie," the wraith patted the air above my head, "denial is chapter one."
Another whispered, "We should start making ship banners…"
A fourth shrieked, "I CALL DIBS ON BEING THEIR FANCLUB PRESIDENT!!"
I pointed a finger at all of them. "This is harassment. And I am not FAT! Im just…cute!"
"Cute my ass." One of the shadows hissed. I glared back.
The wraiths, unbothered, continued planning merchandise.
Chubby crossed his little shadow arms. "Told you coming here was a terrible idea."
I inhaled. "This is your idea!"
Exhaled.
"Sorry." Chubby bowed then high five with the shadow.
I rolled my eyes. Accepted my fate. "Fine," I muttered.
"Show me the secret."
The wraiths paused, then all six smiled ominously. "Oh, darling… you won't like it."
*****
Two hours and approximately 47 dramatic gasps later, it happened.
There, wedged in glowing stone, was a massive golden sword decorated with runes and looking like it belonged to the final boss's first phase.
I grabbed the hilt.
My spine: "I'm filing for divorce."
The sword weighed like trauma, so I couldn't lift it normally, but physics never stopped me before.
I dragged it across the ground like a toddler dragging a stubborn pet.
Then—
I saw it. A dusty, small, pathetic-looking leather pouch sat on a broken pedestal.
Me: "This looks useless."
Chubby: "This could hold an entire kingdom."
Me: "BUY ONE TAKE NARNIA??"
I yelled internally, because real queens don't disturb cave echoes. I poked it, expecting it to explode. Instead it opened like an unlimited inventory cheat code.
I tested it by shoving a huge rock inside.
Gone. Vanished. No weight change.
I almost cried tears of anime sparkle joy. "THIS IS A SUBSPACE STORAGE BAG! YEEEESSS! I'M
MOVING UP IN MY ISEKAI CAREER LADDER!"
I shoved the giant sword inside too, and it fit like Amazon Prime Delivery Into The Void.
Best. Achievement. Ever.
Few drag the heavy sword later…
When I came out, lantern swinging, pouch bouncing, ego radiating—
I saw him.
Sir Alex Canva. Handsome and frowning...
Hero. Knight. Future love interest (in my head).
Standing in the cold, rain-dampened night like a brooding romance cover model.
His cape moved gently with the mountain wind, and his eyes—
Oh gods, his eyes looked at me like he was deciding if he should yell, faint, or arrest me.
Alex: "What the hell are you doing?!"
Me: (thinking) "Falling deeper in love, apparently."
He strode toward me, voice low and furious: "You've been inside for THREE HOURS!"
"THREE. HOURS!"
I blinked innocently. "Time flies when you're collecting loot?"
Alex: "THIS IS NOT A GAME!!"
And then—the mine rumbled.
Stones cracked.
What the hell?
Dust showered.
Then… A thunderous roar boomed as the cave began collapsing.
His knight instincts activated— faster than my TikTok addiction reflex.
He grabbed me, arms tight around my waist—LIFTING ME LIKE I WEIGHED NOTHING.
OYYEAH! I think he dislocated a spine.
But I swear, for one holy second, gravity filed vacation leave. We stumbled away together as the entrance caved in, sealing the mine forever. His body shielded mine until the rumble stopped.
He held me. Actually held me.
I think I was blushing like a ripe tomato while the mines collapsed behind us.
Dramatic really.
His arms stayed around me a few seconds longer than necessary.
My brain: "WEDDING. NOW."
"BABY NAMES: ALEXA & CANVA JR."
"WHERE'S THE PRIEST?"
He realized he was still touching me and released like he grabbed a heated frying pan. But his voice? Soft. Even sweet, I guess.
Shaken. Fear?
Real. Raw. "Lady Seraphine. You could have died…"
I smiled like an unrepentant goblin queen. "But I didn't. And I got upgrades." I proudly shook my hip like I was displaying luxury jewelry. "This pouch can store anything. It's mine now."
His face…utter disbelief, mixed with fear. And mixed with admiration, mixed with Why are you like this???
And somewhere behind us… invisible to everyone but me…
Chubby wraiths made kissy noises.