As I fall back, I see the events unfold in front of me. I couldn't save anyone again.
"Goddammit."
I look at my friend's lifeless body on the floor and flash back to when a soldier I was stationed with got sniped with a magic bullet. His head was clean off. I had to hold the flag of honor for his mother, who looked like she wanted to kill me. Rightfully so. We shouldn't have been fighting that war at all, but all I can do now is relive these flashbacks.
Another one comes to me, laying my sister to rest while the people who killed her walked free, since the judge was their friend. I call bullshit, but hey, the world is rigged against you the moment you're born.
"Hey, kid, you're not dead."
I look at that stupid ring. "There's that damn voice again."
"Sign a pact with me, and I'll let you tap into power you never knew you had," the ring says loudly, with a voice you just wouldn't expect a ring to have. Maybe I've gone crazy. I mean, it's a fitting end for someone born in war.
I close my eyes, and what lies before me is a blue sea and a giant red flower in my mind.
"Where the hell am I?"
The ring finally takes form. It's a small black cloud.
"You are in the mana world, or really, your subconscious."
I laugh. "So I'm not dead?"
I grit my teeth. Ever since escaping death, I've felt like nothing but a curse.
The black cloud flies in front of my face. "Yeah, you're alive. Rejoice. That means we get to beat the brakes off heaven."
The black cloud has a smirk and an evil look in his eyes.
I look at it, disgusted, and draw my sword. "Look, I'll take the additional power because I've got people I want to protect, and I refuse to let them get hurt because of my actions. But I refuse to do anything with dark magic or demons. I like to imagine demons are a thing in this world, especially after seeing Hagen up close. That was either a demon or a very stupid human with the strength of a thousand men."
The cloud backs up and perches atop the red flower. A wave, like something out of a tsunami, crashes over the flower, and it remains intact.
"Don't you get it, Ren? You've been neglectful up to this point. So many deaths because you were weak. Robert would still be here if you hadn't frozen up."
I dash at the cloud and slice the flower with my sword, seeing the petals flow into the air, gently turning into red pollen that starts to swirl around the water.
"Come now, Ren. Stand in the pollen circle. Get entranced with the power you need to survive in this world. It's not that you're weak. This world has a similar but different magic system than your world. Or so I think, since I like to eavesdrop from time to time."
I sheath my sword and walk into the pollen circle, watching the red pollen enter my skin and nose. The black cloud starts a chant.
"With this sacred power I once wielded, I now put this burden upon this child. May the hardships he endures be bested with the power I give him."
My body started to heat up, and my sword started to glow with a hue of red. I noticed the flower in the middle was finally face to face with me, and the waves subsided after a few minutes. The dark cloud flew right into my head to wake me back up.
I leaned up from the floor and stood on my two feet. I looked at Robert's body, kneeled back down, and closed his eyes. I then said a prayer for him.
I start to analyze my surroundings. Innocents over that way. Hagen and his cronies are in the bar, and I can sense Robin is at home due to the barrier. I also know Erin is on her way, because I can sense her too now.
"The mana world sure is interesting."
I sit on a barrel, staring at the sky while the moon is shining bright as ever. Erin finally catches up to me. "Ren, are you okay?" I stay looking at the sky. "It's a terrible day for rain." The tears run down my face. Erin stares at me, then looks down at Robert and then looks to the moon. "Yes, quite a terrible day for rain."
Erin looked back at Ren. "You seem different, though. I don't know what it is about you."
"I mean, I had a near-death experience fighting Hagen. As you can tell, I lived to tell the tale. Not exactly what I wanted, though. I want to die for the shit I endured in my other world. I have no family. I have no friends. You know what it's like being alone? I mean, I know I'm supposed to be some major badass soldier, but I was born pure of heart, which is rare, especially for someone who was in the military." I lean back on the barrel.
Erin nodded. "Yeah, I can't say I understand. I mean, sure, you had it rough, but why sulk? Sulking is only going to get in your way. Sometimes when I get sad, I laugh, because laughing is better than crying."
I sigh. "I don't cry. That's the problem, maybe. The last time I cried, other than that moment we had, was when I saw my sister die and I had to bury her. Other than that, well, I'm just the scum of the earth." I laugh.
Erin slapped me on the back. "Look, I don't think you're a bad person. Whatever you did in the military, you had to follow orders, or they would probably make you do something stupid. But I'd like to imagine your sister would want you to carry on and not be covered in guilt."
I stand up from the barrel with my hand placed on my sword. "You know what, Erin, you're right. Starting today, I'm alive for me, and for you, and for Robin. Let's go kick Hagen's ass to hell and back. I've been aching to get my revenge."
Erin smirked and stuck her tongue out. "Back to yourself, I see. Glad I could help."
I smiled and patted her head. "I laugh. I'm sorry, that was probably weird."
Erin laughed and elbowed him, yet liked the praise.
Now the brightest moon will be our guiding light while fighting Hagen, I said as I kept my hand on my sword.