Power.
To live in the Age of Gods, immense power was necessary. With power, one could avoid becoming a toy of the gods, protect oneself from savage humans and merciless monsters, and safeguard precious people.
Strong resistance to poison was also needed. To become strong against the poison that even the great hero of ten thousand trials and the sage of the forest could not withstand, I suffered countless agonies. For the future, to become the antidote for my precious people.
I had to become a king at the center of unwanted strife. So that I could change the fate of destruction. I had to fight my way through the heart of chaos, including power struggles and war. I had to fight against numerous harsh realities while maintaining my humanity.
I am... an ordinary person. I do not desire the grand position of a king. I never desired the title of the strongest in a myth either. I just wanted to live happily.
Among so many people, it was me, and it had to be me. Because I was the only one who could twist fate and change the future. Because it was something I couldn't entrust to anyone else.
It was hard, painful, and agonizing.
Even so... I could fight for the family who loved me and whom I loved. It was the love of everyone, becoming a pillar everyone could lean on, that brought me this far.
But...
Despite all that effort, I crumbled. I fell apart to the point of wishing for my own death.
I became so strong that even my lifespan increased. I could not live like a human. I sent my wives away, I sent my children away.
I did not wish for immortality. I only wished for rest after living happily with my family. But... I could not. I had to live for far too long. Because I still had a wife left, I couldn't even commit suicide.
One by one, as I sent my precious people away, I realized how weak a human I was. Even after becoming so strong... I made my wives sad. It was because I became strong, because I survived, that it ended up like that.
What I wanted... wasn't that. It wasn't a farewell blurred by such tears. What I wanted... was simply to spend happy days with everyone... That was all... Why couldn't our end be a happy one?
The world says, the heroes say. That I was a hero who met a happy end like Perseus, that they envy that aspect.
No, that's not it... I'd rather have died a dog's death in battle. That pain spanning hundreds of years, those days where losing precious ones was etched into me anew each day... I only grew to resent myself.
I... wish for a chance.
Just, even if only once───
"Huh...!"
Waking up in a cold sweat as if from a nightmare, Sakura. She sat bolt upright and let out a rough breath.
"Did you have a nightmare or something?"
"Ah... Caster."
"You didn't look well, so I was about to wake you from your dream, but you woke up just in time."
"Is that so... Ah!"
The front of her nightgown was slightly open, revealing her cleavage, and Sakura hurriedly covered herself, embarrassed. I waved my hand dismissively as if uninterested.
"I'm not particularly interested, so don't worry about it."
"... Still, I am a woman too."
"Ah, right."
"...."
Sakura looked slightly hurt. Well, what about it? Is she upset that another man saw her when she has a guy she likes? Anyone can see cleavage, it's not like she showed her bare chest. In Ulster, the outfits showed deeper cleavage or revealed the entire figure.
"Hurry up, wash up and have breakfast. Aren't you going to school today?"
"Ah, yes. I'll be right there."
I leave the room and go to the dining room. In the dining room, Shinji, who came earlier, is having his meal.
"What, where's Sakura?"
"She just woke up."
"Seriously, she'll be late at this rate."
Shinji, who now feels she can become a mage surpassing him, has started to treat her like a younger sister again, something he only did when they were young. He's a twisted man like Jason. He's not a bad guy, just jealous and unsuited for the path of magecraft.
Medusa sits opposite Shinji, having her meal. Even though I brought her suddenly last night, Sakura and Shinji accepted her as if it wasn't surprising. Probably because they've become free since Zouken died.
"Is it tasty?"
"Yeah, very. You're better than Sakura."
"Eat a lot, kid."
It's good to see him eat well.
... Tch, he resembles my wife in some ways. My wife was also problematic, being opportunistic like that and very greedy. Is it because of Shinji, no, Jason? His hairstyle is almost the same, just a different color, so I keep thinking of my wife.
"Sorry I'm late!"
"Aren't you going to Emiya's today?"
"I overslept so... Good morning, brother."
"Yeah..."
Since it's almost time for school, Shinji leaves first. He still seems awkward. Even if not related by blood, if they're siblings, they should get along...
`Waaah! Big sister hit me!`
`When did I!? I just woke her up because she wasn't getting up!`
`Sigh... You both were quarreling and that happened. I'll talk to them properly, Father.`
"...."
Illann, Connla, my wife...
"Do you have something on your mind?"
Medusa speaks while wearing the Mystic Eye-killing glasses I gave her, looking at my eyes. I shake my head.
"Not particularly..."
Medusa is like that too... In looks, Sakura resembles Nessa more, but in personality or overall demeanor, Medusa resembles Nessa the most, I wonder. My chest keeps feeling tight...
If I had to say, does Sakura resemble Uathach? In terms of personality, I suppose...
"Thanks for the meal! I'll be going now!"
"Right, don't be late and go quickly."
Sakura quickly leaves the house with bread in her mouth. Truly a Japanese high school girl...
"... There are still a few days left until the Holy Grail War begins. About 3 days... Though the story would be different if other Servants are summoned faster. What will you do from now on?"
"From now on...? Don't worry. I've already thought about it. You just need to follow me."
One problem is Assassin. I wonder who will summon him... Caster is me, will Kirei try to summon one? Since I'm also a Servant, summoning is impossible with Medusa here. There's no catalyst. Since an ordinary human can't handle it, there's no choice. Should we try using Kuzuki Souichirou...
No, on the contrary, if there are more Servants, there will be more checks. How troublesome.
"Is that so... I understand for now, but what do you think about Sakura?"
"Sakura? What, do you think I'll treat her as a tool?"
"Well... I don't know about you yet."
"I'm your Master, you know... You seem to like Sakura? How fickle."
"That's not it. If I had to say... I see you and Sakura on the same level."
On the same level... Do I seem like such a pitiable guy?
"Hmph, please don't pity me."
"Not pity, let's call it a sense of kinship."
"A sense of kinship, huh..."
Well... Both Medusa and I were ordinary people who desired the same thing.
In a way, it means that what the hero and monster who reached the pinnacle of myth desired was not something grand but trivial... For us, that was far more important and irreplaceable than any achievement, any fame, any honor.
"I like it. Rider... I'm glad I chose you after all."
The feeling that you'd suit me best, was that the right answer?
"Is that so? I'm surprised you'd take a liking to a woman like me."
"Ha! I'm not seeing you as a woman, but as a tool! Don't get the wrong idea."
There's no way I could give my heart to anyone more than this. Only as a subordinate...
Because I don't want to know the pain of parting anymore...
"That alone makes me happy. No one other than my sisters ever viewed me favorably. Of course, whether my sisters viewed me favorably is ambiguous..."
"... I see."
Tch... Isn't being loved by family enough? Are the eyes of others important? There's no reason to protect, no value in being together with anyone other than beloved family.
The nation? The people? The world...?
More than those, my beloved family is incomparably more important. My wives and children...
Other than that, I need nothing. I desire no more... new connections.