The four bounty hunters sat around the table with their heads buried in their arms.
Mr. 5 lifted his head.
"So... what now?" His voice came out flat. "We just lost our Eternal Pose."
Miss Valentine lifted her head as well.
"We either have to fight them or contact the others to come get us…"
She whirled on Mr. 3.
"Why did you just HAND it over to him?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Mr. 3 slammed his palms on the table. "You didn't seem to complain when he was sitting RIGHT THERE!?!"
"I—you—we—"
"I'm not stupid enough to fight someone like that up front!"
Miss Goldenweek looked at everyone.
"Maybe we could tag along with them."
The room went silent.
Mr. 5 stared at her.
Miss Valentine stared at her.
Mr. 3's eye twitched.
"...What?"
"You—" Miss Valentine stood so fast her chair fell backward. "You want us to ask for a RIDE from the same people we JUST PLANNED TO KILL?!"
Mr. 3 fingers drummed against the wax table.
"Actually..." He pushed his glasses up. "That could work."
Miss Valentine's jaw dropped.
"Are you serious?!"
"Yeah, sure!" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Let's just walk up and say 'Hey guys, could you give us a lift? Sorry for the hole killing thing.' Do you hear yourself?!"
Mr. 5 shifted uncomfortably.
"And what do we tell the Boss? That we got too scared to finish the job?"
Mr. 3 leaned back in his chair.
"If the Unknown is with the Straw Hats, they'll likely will set sail together." He tapped his temple. "All we have to do is get aboard their ship and stall them as much as we can."
Mr. 5 looked uncomfortable.
"So we just... say the job is done and sail with our targets like nothing happened?"
Miss Valentine slammed her hand on the desk.
"All of this could have been avoided from the start!" Her voice cracked. "All we had to do was leave and let them stay stuck here for a year!"
Mr. 5 scratched the back of his neck.
"And how do we infiltrate their ship? Where do we even begin?" He glanced toward the door. "Won't he just kill us the second we step inside?"
Mr. 3's smile widened as he spread his arms theatrically.
"Not to worry! I already have everything planned out."
Miss Valentine stared at him.
"Your last plan failed miserably..."
"Details!" Mr. 3 waved her off. "The key is confidence!"
Mr. 5's expression went flat.
"That's not a plan..."
"It's only step one!" Mr. 3 leaned forward, adjusting his glasses. "Now listen carefully..."
***
Back at the clearing, Sanji looked around and spotted that Ulquiorra was missing.
"Where did he go?"
Luffy looked around, cheeks stuffed with dinosaur meat.
"Huh? Who?"
"The pale guy." Sanji pointed at the empty rock.
Zoro leaned back against a tree.
"Probably got lost."
Nami's head snapped toward him.
"You're the only one who's capable of getting lost every time!"
"I don't get lost."
"You got lost going to the BATHROOM yesterday!"
"That was—the ship moved!"
"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"
Brogy laughed.
"Gegyagyagya! Don't worry! He just disappears sometimes."
Dorry nodded, tearing off another chunk of meat.
"Gabababababa! He'll be back."
Nami's eye twitched.
"What do you mean 'disappears'—"
Ulquiorra sat on his boulder like he never left.
Dorry gestured with his meat.
"See? He's back."
Luffy's head whipped around.
"WHOA! When'd you get there?!"
Ulquiorra looked at him.
"Just now."
Luffy grinned.
"That's so cool! Did you eat a Devil Fruit too?"
"No."
Brogy leaned forward.
"Where were you off to this time, little friend?"
Ulquiorra held up the Eternal Pose.
Nami's jaw dropped.
"Is that—"
"An Eternal Pose to Alabasta."
Vivi's eyes brightened immediately. She jumped to her feet with a big smile.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Luffy grinned.
"Shishishi! Now we don't have to wait a whole year!"
Vivi gathered herself, wiping her tears away and nodding rapidly.
Sanji looked confused.
"Where did you even get it from?"
Ulquiorra looked at him.
"From the humans planning to kill you."
Zoro sat up straighter.
"You just... walked up and took their Eternal Pose?"
"They gave it to me."
"They gave it to you?"
"Yes."
Usopp's legs trembled.
"Did you... did you kill them?"
"No."
"Then why would they just give you an Eternal Pose?!"
Dorry frowned, crossing his arms.
"You shouldn't take things for free, little friend."
Brogy nodded along.
"Gegyagyagya, you should have challenged them to a duel for it! That's the warrior's way!"
Nami sprang to her feet.
"It doesn't matter how he got it! We need to leave for Alabasta RIGHT NOW!"
Zoro's head turned toward her.
"Since when do you want to rush into danger—"
Nami, smirking.
"The sooner we save Alabasta, the sooner we get paid."
She let out a low demonic chuckle, already counting imaginary berries in her head.
Zoro nodded immediately.
"And the demon's back."
Usopp looked around at everyone.
"Wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that there are people on this island trying to kill us?!"
Luffy jumped up.
"Shishishi! A new island! I wonder what kind of food they have in Alabasta!"
Sanji looked around the island.
"I'll need to stock up on food before we set sail."
"What food?" Zoro stood up. "We'll just hunt whatever's there."
"There's nothing to hunt in a DESERT, you directionally-challenged moron!"
"What did you call me, curly-brow?!"
Usopp looked around for Karoo, hoping that at least the little duck would understand him.
Karoo was already practicing his karate chops, squawking aggressively at an invisible Crocodile.
Usopp's arms dropped.
"I give up..."
Dorry and Brogy stood simultaneously, their shadows falling over Ulquiorra.
Dorry looked down at him.
"Little friend... could we speak with you? Alone?"
Ulquiorra stood up and followed the two giants away from the clearing.
Vivi turned to the others with a bright smile.
"Thank you all so much for helping me—"
"We're doing it for the money," Nami said flatly.
"And the food!" Luffy added.
Sanji glared at both of them.
"We're doing it because Vivi-chan needs our help, you monsters!"
Vivi just smiled and let out a small chuckle, observing the Straw Hats arguing amongst themselves.
***
Several minutes later, Ulquiorra emerged from the jungle with Dorry and Brogy behind him.
Brogy's eyes glistened with tears.
"Gegyagyagya... we'll miss you, little friend..."
He wiped at his face.
"You better come back someday for that rematch!"
Dorry nodded solemnly, his own eyes looked suspiciously wet.
"Gabababababa... And remember what we told you..."
Ulquiorra looked at the giants.
"I will keep it in mind."
Luffy ran up to him, grinning ear to ear.
"Shishishi! Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes."
"YOSH!" Luffy pumped his fist in the air. "Now we have another crew member!"
Ulquiorra opened his mouth to argue.
Behind him, Dorry and Brogy cleared their throats simultaneously.
He said nothing, remaining quiet.
Nami's head whipped toward them so fast her neck should have snapped.
"WHAT?!"
She grabbed her hair with both hands.
"No no no no! Do you have any idea what this means?!" Her voice climbed higher with each word. "A hundred and fifty million berry pirate joining us means even stronger marines will be after us!"
Usopp's entire body trembled.
Then he stopped.
His eyes widened.
"Wait..."
He looked at Ulquiorra.
"Wouldn't it be safer with him on our side? I mean, we're about to fight one of the Seven Warlords!"
Nami froze mid-panic.
Her hands slowly lowered.
Her expression shifted instantly. She clasped her hands together with a brilliant smile.
"Welcome to the crew!"
Zoro leaned against a tree, arms crossed. His eyes tracked to the sword at Ulquiorra's waist.
Vivi practically bounced on her feet, heart soaring with hope.
Father... everyone... please hold on just a little longer. We're coming.
Sanji stood frozen, cigarette dangling from his lips.
His eye twitched.
He pointed at Ulquiorra.
"Hold on." His voice came out flat. "This guy gets to join just like that?"
"Sanji-kun~" Nami's voice turned sickeningly sweet.
Sanji melted instantly.
"Yes, Nami-swan?"
"Shut up."
"Of course, my dear!"
Luffy laughed, throwing an arm around Ulquiorra's shoulders.
Ulquiorra stood perfectly still.
"Shishishi! This is gonna be great! Let's go!"
The Straw Hats walked through the jungle toward the coast.
Ulquiorra walked slightly behind them with Dorry and Broggy right at his sides.
"We'll walk you to your ship!" Dorry announced.
Brogy wiped at his eyes again.
"Gegyagyagya... one last farewell..."
Nami glanced back at the emotional giants.
"They cry a lot for warriors..."
Zoro grunted.
"Better than the love sick cook."
They reached the riverbank where the Going Merry sat docked.
The crew climbed aboard one by one while the giants waited further away.
The second the straw hats enter the ship all of them froze.
Mr. 3 stood in the center of the deck like a butler, hands clasped behind his back.
Behind him, Miss Goldenweek sat cross-legged with her paintbrush in hand, and right next to her stood Mr. 5 at attention with his arms folded.
Mr. 3 bowed deeply.
"Welcome, esteemed guests!"
Mr. 3's voice rang out cheerfully.
"Would you care for refreshments?"
Miss Valentine emerged from the kitchen, holding a wooden tray with glasses of juice, smiling so wide it looked like it was physically hurting her.
Luffy blinked.
"Oh! Thanks!"
He grabbed a glass and downed it in one gulp.
"Ahhhh! That hit the spot!"
Usopp hesitated, glancing between the agents and the juice.
"Uh... yeah. Thanks. I was pretty thirsty..."
Zoro's hand went to his swords immediately.
Sanji's entire body froze.
Then his eyes turned into hearts.
"SUCH A BEAUTIFUL LADY~!"
He rushed forward, taking a glass with both hands like it was made of gold.
"Thank you, mademoiselle! May I get your name?"
Zoro's eyes twitched.
"You've got to be kidding me."
Vivi's eyes went wide.
"They're from Baroque Works!" She pointed at them.
Nami and Usopp took one massive step backward, positioning themselves directly behind Ulquiorra and Zoro.
Luffy's expression went serious. He looked at the four bounty hunters.
Tilted his head.
Then grinned.
"Nah!" He turned to Vivi. "Why would people hunting us be so nice? Shishishi!"
Mr. 3 adjusted his glasses, sweat beading on his forehead.
"Exactly! It's all a misunderstanding, I assure you!"
He spread his arms theatrically before anyone could argue.
"Allow me to introduce our entertainment crew!"
He pointed at Miss Goldenweek.
"This talented young artist can draw portraits, paint murals, or capture any moment you desire!"
His finger swung to Mr. 5.
"And our fireworks expert! He can provide spectacular displays for any celebration!"
Ulquiorra's gaze swept across the four agents.
Mr. 3's smile froze.
Miss Valentine's hands trembled on the tray.
Mr. 5 shifted uncomfortably.
Miss Goldenweek's paintbrush nearly slipped from her hand.
All four avoided looking directly at him.
Nami peeked around Ulquiorra's shoulder.
Her eyes narrowed, tracking their reactions.
Then a slow, evil grin spread across her face.
Mr. 3 cleared his throat.
"We'll even pay for passage!"
Nami stepped out from behind Ulquiorra immediately.
Berry symbols appeared in her eyes.
"How much?"
"T-ten thousand berries each!"
"Fifty thousand. Each. Per day."
Mr. 3's jaw dropped.
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me." Nami crossed her arms. "That's two hundred thousand berries per day. Plus, you handle all cleaning duties."
"That's robbery!"
Nami sighed theatrically and glanced at Ulquiorra.
"Can you just—"
"DEAL!" Mr. 3 blurted out immediately.
Nami's smile brightened instantly. "Welcome aboard!"
Zoro looked at her like she'd lost her mind.
"You just sold out our safety for money."
"For one million four hundred thousand berries per week!" Nami corrected cheerfully.
Mr. 3 adjusted his glasses with shaking hands.
I might have miscalculated…
◈ ◈ ◈
Author's Notes:
Three rewrites later, here we are! This chapter did not want to cooperate.
Let me know what you think! And if you have any questions about the story or where it's headed, feel free to ask.