The shop felt suddenly very, very small.
Three of the most powerful men in the Aethelgard Empire were standing in my entryway, creating a bottleneck of broad shoulders, expensive fabric, and terrifying magical auras.
On the left, Lord Rurik Jaeger. Rurik looked like a storm cloud in uniform, his icy-blue eyes scanning the room for threats (or chewed furniture).
On the right, General Rajah Khanda. He was radiating heat and exhaustion, his massive arms crossed over his chest.
And in the center, looking like he'd just stepped out of a fashion magazine for villains, was Archduke Cassian Argentis, flanked by the ever-disapproving Alistair.
They looked at the overturned cushions. They looked at the flour on the floor. They looked at their sons.
Vali was growling in the Time-Out corner.
Jasper was aggressively dusting off his silk shirt, looking murderous.
Arjun was doing angry pushups, muttering "VIOLATION" with every rep.
"What," Rurik rumbled, his voice vibrating the floorboards, "happened here?"
"Recreation," I squeaked. Then I cleared my throat, channeling my inner Head Chef. "We were playing a... strategic movement game. 'Sleepy Sheep.' There were... disagreements regarding the geometry of the playing field."
Rurik looked at Vali. "Did you bite someone?"
Vali crossed his arms. "I took a shortcut! The snake is a rule-lawyer!"
Cassian arched a perfect silver eyebrow, looking down at his disheveled brother. "Jasper. You allowed a canine to tackle you? How... undignified."
"He cheated!" Jasper hissed, pointing a shaking finger. "He violated the circumference!"
"Arjun," General Khanda sighed, looking at his son. "Report."
"HOSTILITIES ENGAGED, SIR!" Arjun yelled from the floor. "MULTI-SPECIES BRAWL! NO CASUALTIES, BUT MORALE IS LOW!"
The three men looked at each other. The tension in the room spiked. Wolf vs. Snake vs. Tiger. It was a political powder keg.
But then... Rurik sniffed the air.
"Is that..." He looked at Vali, who was no longer feral, just grumpy. "He's not... hungry?"
"He had three 'Protein-Spheres' and a bowl of stew," I said. "He's full. He's just a sore loser."
Cassian looked at Jasper. "And you... you have color in your cheeks. You shouted."
"He shouted loud," Vali grumbled.
Rajah looked at Arjun, who was still holding a plank position. "And he... followed orders? He hasn't broken anything?"
"Only a crayon," I admitted.
The tension broke. The three B.A.D.s weren't angry. They were amazed. Their "problem cubs"—the ones who bit nannies, starved themselves, and destroyed estates—were acting like... normal, rowdy children.
Rajah Khanda was the first to move. The massive Tiger General stepped forward, a charming, roguish grin breaking through his exhaustion.
"Lady Primrose," he boomed, his voice warm. "You truly are a miracle worker. Arjun hasn't been this focused in years. As a token of my gratitude... and perhaps to discuss a more permanent arrangement..."
He bowed, taking my hand in his massive, warm paw.
"I would be honored if you would join me for dinner tomorrow night. I have reserved the private balcony at the Golden Pavilion."
The Golden Pavilion?! That was the most expensive restaurant in the capital!
"I..." I started, stunned.
"A bit flashy, isn't it, Khanda?" a cold voice cut in.
Rurik Jaeger stepped forward, essentially shoving the General aside with his shoulder. He loomed over me, his icy-blue eyes intense.
"The Golden Pavilion serves overpriced garnish," Rurik scoffed. He looked at me. "My chefs have prepared a banquet of Northern delicacies. Fresh venison. Snow-wine. You will dine at my estate. Tomorrow."
It wasn't a question. It was a command.
"Now, now, gentlemen," a smooth, cool voice drifted between them.
Cassian Argentis didn't shove. He just glided. He appeared at my side, his presence cool and smelling of expensive cologne. He didn't take my hand; he just leaned in, invading my personal space with terrifying ease.
"How... rustic," Cassian murmured, smiling at Rurik with zero warmth. "And how... public," he added, glancing at Rajah. "Surely, Lady Primrose appreciates the finer arts? I have acquired the Royal Box for the opening night of the Opera. It is tomorrow evening. I insist."
I stood there, frozen.
The Tiger wanted to take me to a 5-star restaurant.
The Wolf wanted to take me to his private fortress.
The Snake wanted to take me to the Royal Opera.
And they were all staring at me.
My internal gamer-brain was screaming. This is it! The 'Route Split'! You have to choose! Pick the Wolf for the Main Route! Pick the Snake for the Plot! Pick the Tiger for the... well, look at his arms!
But my survival brain— the one running from Marquis Grieve—saw the trap.
If I said "yes" to Rurik, Cassian would be insulted. If I went with Cassian, Rajah would feel slighted. They were powerful men with fragile egos. I couldn't afford to make enemies of any of them. I needed all their protection.
I needed to stall. I needed to keep them all on the hook.
"I..." I started, looking between the three of them. "I am so flattered! Really! But... tomorrow is... busy! And... well..."
An idea formed. A terrible, chaotic, "Hard Mode" idea.
"You're all so concerned about your sons' progress," I lied smoothly. "And since they're all learning to get along..."
I clasped my hands together and gave them my best "innocent daycare teacher" smile.
"Why don't we all go together? A... 'Parent-Teacher Conference' dinner?"
Silence.
Rurik looked disgusted. "With him?" He pointed at Cassian.
Cassian looked horrified. "With... that?" He gestured to Rurik's uniform.
Rajah looked confused. "A... conference?"
"It would be so helpful for me to discuss their dietary plans with all of you at once!" I chirped, doubling down. "And it would show the children such a good example of... cooperation."
I looked at them with big, amber eyes. Dare you to say no.
They looked at each other. The rivalry flared hot and bright.
If Rurik refused, he'd look like he didn't care about his son. If Cassian refused, he'd lose the chance to outshine Rurik. If Rajah refused, he'd look uncooperative.
Rurik gritted his teeth. "Fine."
"If I must," Cassian sighed, checking his cuffs.
"Splendid idea!" Rajah laughed, slapping Rurik on the back hard enough to make the Wolf growl. "The Golden Pavilion it is! My treat!"
"I'm driving," Rurik snapped immediately.
"I will select the wine," Cassian stated coolly. "I don't trust your palates."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
I had just agreed to a date with a Wolf, a Tiger, and a Snake. At the same time.
This was either going to be the best meal of my life, or the start of a literal war.