Obi-Wan could sense the tension in the room rising the longer he argued. Cody, his steadfast commander, was standing behind him, posture in rigid parade rest. His face gave nothing away but his thoughts screamed the longer Obi-Wan continued. Poor Gregor had, at one point, fully slid off his chair and onto the floor to hide under the counsel. Wooley was recording everything, though he had the wide-eyed look of someone who seemed to be watching a ship crash in slow motion but could not tear their gaze away. Longshot had been making increasingly high-pitched, strangled noises in the back of his throat. And Waxer and Boil were standing off to the side exchanging worried glances with one another.
He didn't blame them. After all, he had given them no heads up as to what he had planned and hadn't anticipated this war room to be so crowded. He would have asked them to leave but he was already running late and Mon Mothma could only stall for so long. Which is why he strode right up to the holoprojector flicked it on, and started arguing with the Chancellor of the Republic in the middle of a senate session.
He knew that Cody knew this was coming. The Jedi council knew this was coming. The entire GAR knew this was coming. Hell, even Palpatine likely knew this was coming. But all of them had assumed Obi-Wan would do this privately. Perhaps put in a call to Palpatine's office away from prying eyes and the public.
That may have been the diplomatic thing to do, but it was also the stupid thing to do. In private, Palpatine could say whatever he wanted to placate Obi-Wan. That man had an annoying habit of picking at Obi-Wan's threads and making promises and declarations that Obi-Wan agreed with, with such sincerity that it was difficult to determine truth from lie. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the famed negotiator known for being able to sniff banthashit from a mile away, especially when it came to slimy politicians, seemed unable to fight against Palaptine's charms.
Only several hours, days, weeks, or even months later would Obi-Wan realize that they had all been pretty words said to placate him and keep him from diving too deep. And, by that point, it would be too late. The galaxy would have moved on to other problems and Obi-Wan wouldn't have had another chance to bring up his grievances. The only time he could hold his ground was when Anakin was involved. Well, no more.
He plotted it all out perfectly. He chose a day when Fox would be present at the Senate. He was only ever there when they were discussing trooper and war-related issues. Fox Talks got more views than R-SPAN did so that would at the very least quadruple Obi-Wan's audience. And, he was pretty sure Wooley was live-streaming it from this end as well. A special event that would draw even more eyes as the famed Negotiator faced down the entire Senate. He didn't tell Fox about this, though. Technically, since this fell under trooper and GAR issues, he could have used Fox's debate time to bring it up. The man probably would have let him. Only, he didn't want Palpatine to know about this. If he knew, he could prepare. And if he could prepare, he could throw Obi-Wan off. And if Obi-Wan wanted to get anywhere with that man, he needed to be the one to throw Palpatine off balance at the very start.
So, he did something that would completely blindside him. Bail would be sad that Obi-Wan hadn't requested his time for the debate, but he knew that Palpatine would suspect he would go to him for this. If Obi-Wan was being monitored, then so was Bail Organa. The whole point of doing it this way was to catch Palpatine off-guard.
Instead, he went to Mon Mothma. He had met the woman a few times. She was personable enough for a politician and respected Bail. More importantly, she didn't respect Palpatine and was more than willing to put him in his place as required, but not as vocally or openly as Padme or Bail. She may be watched, but was likely not as closely monitored. And she didn't mind the dramatics. When Obi-Wan approached her asking if she could help him get a spot on the Senate to tear apart Palpatine's gross mishandling of Rex's deployment in front of (at the very least) trillions of sentients across the galaxy (plus however many caught the replay), she merely smiled at him and asked what day he would like.
Watching Palpatine's face sour when Obi-Wan stepped into the frame and began detailing the events that had taken place over the past few weeks was glorious and would live on in Obi-Wan's mind for the rest of his life. Of course, with so many people watching, it was only a matter of time before the Jedi council and others found out.
Quin was the first to message. "Are you high?!?!?!?!?!?! Why the fuck are you yelling at the chancellor!?!?!?!?!?!"
Windu was not long after. "Master Kenobi, you need to ASK before you go in front of the entire galaxy to argue with the Chancellor!"
Shaak Tii was very supportive. "Yes, honey. Break that man down!"
As was Master Plo "May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi. Your master would be proud."
Anakin even messaged him at some point. "Master? Are you feeling okay?" Hmm, maybe this wasn't a great idea if even Anakin was worried about him.
Helix also messaged. "Sir, please, I worry about the Commander's blood pressure." Maybe he had a point. Obi-Wan started monitoring Cody's vitals just to ensure his commander wouldn't die of a heartattack before this session was over. So far, he had yet to creep into the danger zone.
The Jedi weren't that surprising. What was surprising was the number of other people who had messaged him.
From Dex "This is glorious. I'm live-streaming it at the diner right now."
To Hondo (how did he get his comm code again?) "My friend! We drink to your victory today! Please, come by later so we can celebrate some more!"
To even Satine. "Now this is a Jedi the galaxy needs. Not a general."
Seventeen also messaged him about mid-way through his debate. His was, perhaps, the most threatening. "Call me. Now." Oh, but Obi-Wan couldn't call him now. He wasn't done properly humiliating the Chancellor yet.
And make no mistake. The entire point of this was to humiliate the Chancellor.
Something about watching Cody break down had ignited something in Obi-Wan he had completely forgotten about: His inability to accept banthashit from people who thought that he was easy to manipulate.
He wasn't. And he despised Palpatine for trying to play this game with him.
Perhaps it was tipping a little too close to 'anger' and the dark side for Master Yoda's liking, but Obi-Wan didn't care. He was done. He was done with an ineffective Senate calling shots on a war they didn't understand and expecting Jedi to be complicit in the slavery of millions of sentient men just because they didn't want to send out a draft notice all while forcing said Jedi to be generals and their children to be commanders.
Ahsoka should be out learning how to negotiate farm disputes with Master Plo's calm guidance, not making split-second life-or-death decisions that could wipe out thousands of people if she chose wrong. Anakin should be getting into knight shenanigans like he and Quin did when they were his age. Getting drunk, trying various drugs offered to him for the sake of diplomacy, learning about the galaxy as a young adult and finding his niche. Not fighting in a war that had him sensing millions of deaths every day. Luminara and Barriss should be combing dusty libraries searching for rare books and perfecting their healing abilities. Ayla should be out in the world fighting against slavers. The council should be debating which traditions to keep and which ones were out of date. But they couldn't do that because they were all so tired and spread thin because the Senate didn't know how to run a fucking war!
Obi-Wan was done. He was done with the Senate walking all over them. He was done with Palpatine having all the power. He was done following orders that he knew were wrong and would lead to more destruction. He was done with the corruption. He was done watching the people he loved die in droves as the war dragged on.
That is why he was here, doing everything he could to point out Palpatine's incompetent decisions in front of the whole galaxy in hopes that they might finally get some movement and support.
And Palpatine was growing tired of it. Real tired of it.
His smile had tightened so much throughout Obi-Wan's arguments that he was certain at some point the skin would split.
"This was a necessary step. Surely you must understand the need for discretion on top secret missions," he said, trying to regain control of the narrative.
"The fact that you still don't see why what you did was so dangerous further proves the Senate does not know how to properly handle the war," Obi-Wan argued back.
What many people didn't understand about negotiations was that it was just another battle; another sparring match. There were offensive and defensive maneuvers. Trick shots and complicated blocks. Every move worked together to create a battle where each step determined who won and who lost. Obi-Wan and Palpatine were locked in the thick of battle. He needed to keep his head, to keep throwing out offensive maneuvers; forcing Palpatine to block instead of attack until he was backed into a corner and Obi-Wan emerged victorious.
Palpatine opened his mouth. But Obi-Wan had great lung capacity and could talk for a very long time without needing to take a breath. "You took two ARC troopers, a highly decorated captain, and the Chief Medical Officer from their battalion mere hours before they were set to redeploy and did not tell Admiral Yularen, General Skywalker, Commander Tano, myself, or Commander Cody, all of whom are their commanding officers and need to know this for tactical decisions."
He would have also argued about Hardcase and Tup but couldn't find anything in their file that wasn't easily replaceable with other troopers. Sad, but true. At least four of the six men were important enough to warrant this argument.
"Your actions directly jeopardized General Skywalker and Admiral Yularen's defense of Christophsis, a planet we have had issues keeping safe from Separatists in the past. A planet that continues to face bombardments and attacks because of its proximity to a vital hyperlane."
"I did not think that five clones would be so hard to replace," Palpatine said in that stupid passive way that he spoke to try and pacify the people disagreeing with him.
"What mission was so important that the Chief Medical Officer of the 501st and the commanding officer of Torrent Company had to be pulled, but not Torrent itself? In what universe would a regular medic have not sufficed? You have yet to provide any information as to why it was Captain Rex and Kix were so desperately needed for this mission. And why General Skywalker could not have been briefed of their deployment before he got to Coruscant. A simple memo would have sufficed and still have kept vital intel safe from Separatist hands should our system be compromised."
Palpatine's eye twitched. Obi-Wan had caught him.
"Now, Master Kenobi-" he said in the brief pause that Obi-Wan took.
Oh, that was exactly what he wanted to hear. "That's General Kenobi to you, Chancellor. Or High General Kenobi if we're being accurate. Since the Galactic Senate has deemed it necessary to force the Jedi to become generals and their child padawans, commanders, you will refer to me by my rank. If you wish to refer to me as a Jedi, then you shall have to strip me of my rank as high general of the entire third systems army, along with the rest of my comrades, and return us to peacekeeping duties."
Cody sucked in a breath behind him. Right, he did have a very real audience at the moment. Oh well. He had already opened this can of worms. He'd be damned if he stopped short now.
Palpatine, for his part, looked as though he wanted to explode with anger. His hands were gripping the chair so hard that even in the static blue holo-image, Obi-wan could tell his knuckles were white.
"Mast—General Kenobi," Palpatine said. "This is a war. Wars are very complex things that sometimes require fast decisions to be made."
"Do not talk to me about the realities of war," Obi-Wan said, his voice getting dangerously dark. "This is not the first time I have been a general. And I won that war."
Palpatine's tight smile dropped and, despite the fact that Obi-Wan hadn't continued talking, no one else stepped in to argue.
"If you truly do not think that I am capable of winning this war, if you do not think my experience is worth listening to, then why am I a general? Why are any Jedi generals?"
Palpatine looked like he swallowed a lemon.
That was the killing blow. Maybe not immediately, but Obi-Wan had won this fight. Now it was time to eviscerate Palpatine to make sure his shambling corpse couldn't come back later once he thought of a halfway decent comeback.
"What Tarkin and you have done is gross misconduct of the highest level that has not only jeopardized lives but also could have lost us valuable ground near Christophsis. Luckily, General Skywalker, working with General Windu, was able to secure that sector once more. But I still have not gotten a clear answer as to why it had to be Captain Rex and his men. Tarkin has his own men under his command. And if they didn't suffice, the Coruscant Guard is trained to pull off specialized missions and have done so in the past."
"All possibilities that were taken under consideration, I assure you," Palpatine said.
Wow, it was like Palpatine was helping him dig his grave. The man really did need to learn when to shut up and when he had lost.
"No, they were not. Because it is never acceptable to separate the Chief Medical Officer from his battalion. No undercover mission would have required Kix specifically," Obi-Wan said.
Thankfully, Kix was a very high-ranking trooper and very well respected, especially amongst those in the medical field who regularly published his research. It made it even harder for Palpatine to argue since there was no world in which he would have been the only person available for a mission.
"I see," Palpatine said, his voice tight once more.
"I don't think you, do, Chancellor," Obi-Wan said. "Because not only did you mishandle Captain Rex's deployment, but your handling of the situation afterward also shows that you do not understand how the military works. KIA declarations are only given if A) the body is in possession; B) the death was captured on film and the soldier in question's identity was confirmed; or C) two months after an MIA declaration has been made have passed with no indication to the soldier's life status are found. You declared Captain Rex and his squad killed in action after only a few days. You could not have found their bodies because Captain Rex has informed me that they were removed from where they crashed shortly afterward and transported to another moon. Even if you had gone directly to the crash site, there would have been no evidence of their deaths. This whole mess has shown that the Senate does not know how to properly run the army. While I am not advocating that we operate without senate input, as that is a recipe for war crimes, it is clear that your aggressive oversight and ability to reassign troopers without consulting high-ranking members of the GAR, including their own commanding officers, has slowed the war effort down."
For several minutes, no one said anything. Obi-Wan held Palpatine's gaze, daring him to argue and debate him. A few people coughed awkwardly in the silence.
Finally, it was Mas Amedda who spoke. "Thank you Mast—General Kenobi," he said, casting a nervous glance towards Palpatine, who looked like he might be the one having a stroke instead of Cody. "We will take your words into consideration and perhaps discuss how to avoid such a thing in the future."
"Thank you," Obi-Wan said. "Senators, thank you for your time." He bowed to them and turned off the holoprojector.
He had barely shut off the holoprojector when Cody came up to him. "Sir, we need to discuss something," he said curtly.
Obi-Wan furrowed his brows. "What?"
Before he could say anything else, Cody grabbed ahold of his elbow and dragged him out of the room, walking stiffly. The hand was tight on his elbow, almost too tight.
"Cody, what in the galaxy—"
Cody practically threw him into a little alcove and ripped his helmet off. "What were you thinking?" he hissed.
Ah, this must be a blind spot where no one was listening or watching. Obi-Wan made a mental note of that information down for later. In case he needed to talk about anything else without worrying about prying eyes.
"Cody, my dear, I assure you I had everything under control."
"Control? You call that control?" Cody's voice rose an octave and a decibel before he quickly brought it back down. The spot might be blind, but get loud enough and people could still hear. "You've gone and painted a giant target on your back without even thinking! Do you want to get yourself killed?" He grabbed Obi-Wan by the shoulders, gripping him tightly to hold him in place.
That confirmed that the people Cody was most afraid of listening to were the Chancellor and other members of the GAR.
More to the point, the target. "I'm not stupid, Cody," Obi-Wan admonished lightly. "I did not act without thought. I actually put a lot of thought into this. I am meant to be the target."
Cody's face went through a whole host of emotions. "No. No. You are not—"
"Cody," he said softly, he risked reaching up to put a hand on Cody's cheek.
He could no longer deny it. He had feelings for his commander. Entirely unprofessional feelings that could probably be considered love. He had first realized this about two months into Cody's tenure as his commander. It was something so simple and stupid, but effective. Gree and Wolffe had gotten into some sort of argument. Just before Obi-Wan could go and separate the two, Cody walked in, sighed tiredly, and then chucked his helmet at them, knocking them both in the head with expert precision. Then, without saying a word, he picked his bucket back up and walked out. It was so endearing that Obi-Wan couldn't help but love him.
At first, he tried to play it off as mere feelings of friendship. The sort of love he had for Quin and Bant. But, as time went on, it became very clear that they were not the same thing. Mostly because he never had dreams about kissing Quin and Bant. He had tried to meditate the damn feelings out of existence, releasing them into the force as he had been taught all his life, but they stuck to him. Anything he released into the force seemed to come back tenfold until he eventually just accepted that these feelings were not going to go away.
He was fairly certain Cody felt the same way. There were lingering looks and the occasional soft touches to his shoulders and back that were too tender to be mistaken for friendship. Still, regardless of how Obi-Wan or Cody felt about one another, he was his commanding officer and they were at war. Whatever feelings he had could not be acted upon until those things changed. He mourned that, of course, but released it into the Force. That, at least, seemed to stick.
However, after comforting Cody after Rex's supposed death, he did feel closer to the man. Perhaps trauma bonding was the word for it. It didn't help that Cody seemed to be more openly protective of him as well. It made sense that he would be, after almost losing his brother and Ahsoka.
A part of Obi-Wan wanted to put the distance between them in this situation, to remind Cody that he was his commanding officer and he would deal with this mess as he saw fit. That would be the proper thing to do. But it would not be the right thing to do. Something was happening within the GAR. Something that was threatening Obi-Wan's family, his friends, his men, and the citizens of the Republic and the planets not aligned. If this was going to work, if Cody and Fox were going to figure out what was going on, then he needed to trust Obi-Wan. Not as a general, but as a person. And the only way to do that was to be more open with him. He wouldn't cross that line. But he'd let his shields down. Let his walls down. Let Cody in so that he would understand that Obi-Wan was not taking unnecessary risks.
"Cody," he said again, softer, drawing Cody's attention to him. "This was not done in the spur of the moment. I am purposefully drawing a target on my back. I am purposefully making Palpatine pay attention to me."
"Why, though?" Cody asked, practically begged for an answer.
"The same reason I do it in battle. If people are distracted by me, they'll forget all about you."
It was true. Obi-Wan had found early on, even before this blasted war had started, that sometimes the easiest way to get things done was to dangle himself in front of an opponent like a shiny piece of treasure. He'd distract them with flirting and flips and tricks while whoever he was with did the actual work. It worked ninety percent of the time. That number dropped when Anakin was involved because Anakin was incapable of subtlety.
"I hate it when you do that. It's an unnecessary risk," Cody grumbled.
"I would argue that it's the exact opposite. I know you and Fox are looking into something related to Palpatine, the GAR, and possibly the entire Senate."
"Wolffe is in on it too," he said.
"And I don't want to know anything else about it. The more I know, the more I can give away, even accidentally. But, all investigations leave a trail. If Palpatine is distracted with me, he won't even think twice about you. Besides, he doesn't consider you to be sentient. Something that normally I would hate, but in this instance works to our advantage."
"But—"
"But nothing. I am deliberately kicking the hornet's nest, poking the bear, sticking my arm in the rancor's mouth. You, Fox, and Wolffe can then sit back and see what happens. You have to sit back and see what happens. We need you to sit back and watch what happens. You might be the only ones capable of running an investigation like this."
"He'll… he could hurt you, though," Cody said. "He could kill you."
Obi-Wan offered him a gentle smile. "You'll find that I'm quite difficult to kill. I believe Seventeen has likened me to a cockroach on more than one occasion."
Speaking of Seventeen, he still needed to call the man.
"You're nicer to look at than a cockroach," Cody replied, seemingly before he realized what he had just said. His cheeks darkened and he snapped his mouth shut, causing Obi-Wan to laugh.
"Thank you for the compliment, my dear."
"I… you're welcome," Cody managed to squeak out.
Obi-Wan ran a thumb over his cheekbone, soaking in the warmth of his skin. "I hate to say it, but I'm much more indispensable than you or Rex, Cody. I'm a Jedi, a high-general, and very well-known and well-liked throughout the galaxy. I even have fans on the holonet. Palpatine will have a harder time trying to get rid of me in a way that wouldn't cause an investigation by the Jedi council."
"He could do it, though. He could hire someone."
"After I just spent thirty minutes detailing his failures as a commander-in-chief? I don't think so," Obi-Wan scoffed. "Any attempts on my life in the coming weeks will immediately be flagged as suspicious and potential retaliation. I swear to you, Cody, I'm not being reckless."
Cody did not look convinced.
"Trust me on this," he urged. "I'm trusting you with this investigation. I'm trusting that you'll bring me in once you have something substantial."
"I'm trusting you with the future of my people. Whether we end our time as warmongers, or we go on to be peacekeepers," went unspoken.
"Trust me to also be in control. Okay?"
Cody brought his hand up to hold Obi-Wan's in place. "Okay," he said softly. "Okay. I'll trust you. But please be careful. I don't want you going anywhere alone right now. At least one trooper or Jedi with you at all times."
"Very well. If you decide that I need a minder, I'll comply," Obi-Wan said.
Cody did not smile. He looked torn standing there. Obi-Wan wanted to kiss him; wanted him to understand on a deeper level just how seriously he was taking this. To pour his emotions into a gesture where no words were needed.
That was a line he could not cross. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
"In two and a half months I'll be back on Coruscant. You, Fox, Quin, and I will all be sitting down in Dex's back room and you will be telling me everything. Understood."
"Yes."
He smiled at the lack of 'sir' attached to the end. They truly were equals in this moment. It was nice.
He pulled his hand back and gave Cody one last tired smile. "Come on, Commander. We have an upcoming battle to plan." He stepped back out into the hallways, Cody falling into step behind him, helmet back on. The line between them back up.
It wasn't the first time Obi-Wan was the distraction, and he'd play his part well. He'd paint himself all nice and shiny and dance in front of Palpatine until that man exploded with rage. All the while, Cody and his brothers would work in the background and possibly bring an end to this war. That's what the Force was telling him. He was inclined to believe it.
****
Alpha-17: KENOBI YOU BETTER PICK THE FUCK UP
Alpha-17: I CAN SEE THAT YOU'VE READ THESE MESSAGES
Alpha-17: IF YOU DON'T FUCKING PICK UP NOW I WILL ABANDON MY POST AND SHOW UP ON THE NEGOTIATOR DON'T TEST ME KENOBI
General Kenobi: Ah, Seventeen, darling. Sorry about not picking up your calls. I've been ever so busy.
Alpha-17: Don't you fucking play with me Kenobi. What the fuck was that? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Cause this is how you get yourself killed.
General Kenobi: Why Seventeen! Are you worried about me? I'm flattered. No need to worry about getting me killed, my dear. Remember, I'm a cockroach.
Alpha-17: They'll fucking gas you, Kenobi. And you still haven't told me what the fuck you were thinking!
General Kenobi: You've been saying the word 'fuck' a lot. I figured your vocabulary was much more diverse and colorful. It's a bit one note, don't you think?
Alpha-17: I'll fucking say fuck if I want to fucking say fuck. Now answer the fucking question before I fucking show up on the Negotiator and rip it out of you myself
General Kenobi: Don't threaten me with a good time, dearest.
Alpha-17: KENOBI
New Message from Fordo:
Fordo: Hey, general, I don't know what you're saying to Seventeen, but could you maybe stop? His face is turning really red right now.
New Message from Alpha-17:
Alpha-17: What brainworm invaded your head to put yourself directly in the line of fire from the chancellor? If your answer is anything less than 'That wasn't me. That was a very convincing commando droid that's been blasted to smithereens and I'll be apologizing to the Chancellor shortly', I don't want to fucking hear it.
General Kenobi: If you must know, I'm getting rather tired of the ineffective way the Senate is running the war. I merely sought to remind them that they have, at their disposal, people who know how to properly run a war and perhaps they should defer to them before making decisions. That is all.
Alpha-17: Not
Alpha-17: What
Alpha-17: I
Alpha-17: Told
Alpha-17: You
Alpha-17: To
Alpha-17: Say
General Kenobi: Don't worry, my dear. Cody has already properly admonished me. You have no need to come yell at me yourself.
Alpha-17: Cody's soft on you and you fucking know it. Pull a stunt like this again and I'm kidnapping you and locking you in the deepest, darkest dungeon we got on Kamino.
General Kenobi: Ah, it'll be just like old times. You. Me. Flesh-eating maggots.
Alpha-17: Fuck you Kenobi.
Notes:Cody in Chapter 20: I have to tell Obi-Wan about the listening devices so he'll be more careful. I have to make sure he doesn't have a target painted on his back.
Obi-Wan in Chapter 22, panting a glittery neon target on his back and banging pots and pans together outside Palpatine's office: Look at me! Aren't I just the brightest target you've ever seen. I hope no one decides to start watching me and looking at me more closely. Oh, it'd be a great shame if the CHANCELLOR OF THE REPUBLIC WHO I DISLIKE GREATLY were to find ANY OF MY ACTIONS suspicious and worth further investigation.
Cody: Why are you like this?
Yes, some people have noticed that I actually have a chapter count now. I can't guarantee that'll be the correct count, but it should be close enough. I also wanted to say that there are a few scenes that I could not wait to write: Ahsoka's attempted assassination, Rex and Kix discovering the Chips, and Obi-Wan ripping the Senate apart. It was so much fun to write. Next chapter, though. Next chapter is when the real party starts.
Have a great weekend and happy thanksgiving to all my US readers.