"Huh?"
My mind snapped awake with the sound of a book hitting the floor.
I guess I dozed off for a moment.
Come to think of it, when did I even get off work?
"My memory's been hazy lately."
Was it the stress of my trait not reaching level 8 recently?
I fiddled with my breasts, which had stopped growing because my trait level hadn't increased, and thought about it.
Well, it's already been half a year since I hit this wall.
It was true that I was starting to get scared by the thought that I might not become an A-rank like this.
"Huh?"
Furthermore, the title of the book that had just fallen from my desk was one I'd never seen before.
And for some reason, the "Not for sale to minors under 19" notice caught my eye.
"'But I Still Love You'?"
Did I buy a book like this?
Sure, I occasionally read romance comics or novels, but this one seems unfamiliar.
My memory has been in and out lately; did I forget I bought this book?
"In most things, there is cause and effect..."
As I opened the book out of curiosity and started reading the story, it felt like another world was unfolding before my eyes.
The story of a sickly man and the woman who came to love him.
At first, I felt uncomfortable wondering why the man had to be the protagonist.
After all, men are a cursed race conceived as punishment for women not living virtuously.
That's what I knew, so the fact that they inserted a man instead of a story about two women loving each other really bothered me.
"Uh, oh...."
But as the story progressed, their love deepened, and during their first long kiss, I felt, even if just a little, that it was a beautiful love.
However, after that, the man's physical condition only worsened.
Before I knew it, my frustration over the man's deteriorating health had swallowed most of my emotions, more so than the initial discomfort of one of them being a man.
Why couldn't they just have a happy ending?
That thought swirled in my head, and I found myself sympathizing with their predetermined sorrow and their present happiness.
The brief happiness was short-lived; eventually, the man was discharged after being given a final terminal prognosis.
Because life-prolonging treatment had become meaningless.
"No, damn it."
Tears burst forth at the sad scenes depicted as if I were watching a movie.
It was the first time I realized I was someone who could empathize with a love story between a man and a woman.
Well, maybe a man born as a sin isn't necessarily at fault himself.
And even if he were, if he has no memory of it, is it really his fault?
It felt like all the issues I had always taken lightly were suddenly pouring down on me.
The woman entering dungeons with her weak trait to earn money for the man's treatment, returning injured.
And the man begging her not to get hurt, even saying he'd rather give up his own treatment.
Whether it was because of their beautiful love, my head was getting confused.
"Huh?"
Wait, what?
You do that after kissing?
You mean there's more that people in love do after kissing?
"What's a 'lewd moan'...?"
I focused on phrases I'd never seen before and continued reading.
The man and woman shared kisses and their love, then suddenly started taking off their clothes and engaged in an act I'd never seen before.
The man lovingly caressing the woman's body here and there?
What's caressing?
'Is it like a massage?'
Anyway, every time they mingled their bodies like that, the woman let out happy moans and held the man tightly.
Moans are sounds you make when you're in pain, so how could they mean happiness?
I felt there was something I didn't know.
Was it a special setting in this story?
Anyway, as they mingled their bodies like that, it mentioned the woman's pussy becoming wet with sticky love juices and the man's dick getting bigger.
What are love juices, and why does a dick get bigger?
I was full of questions, but I was curious about what happened next, so I kept reading.
"Eeek?"
You put that 'big' dick into the pussy?
The pussy is where you pee.
The thought of putting something into it was something I'd never even considered.
Regardless of my shock, the two happily proceeded with the act, and it said they eventually 'shot' something called semen into the womb inside the pussy.
A man's dick can shoot something like that, besides pee?
And besides a baby coming out of the womb, can you actually put something into it like that?
"O-oh, me. I got too immersed. It's just a novel, so they probably just made up a strange setting."
Soon after, the woman becomes pregnant with the man's child through that semen.
The ending was that the man's illness worsens, he eventually passes away, and the woman, left alone, raises his child and remembers him.
So, through that act, the man's child was created inside the woman?
"Ha, I guess this is how fantasy is these days."
It was depicted so realistically that I started to suspect if such a thing actually existed.
So, without much thought, I searched online for pregnancy.
I wondered if this kind of fantasy setting had become standardized.
"Strange?"
But something was off.
I naturally assumed the explanation for pregnancy would say that if a woman desperately wants a child, a baby girl is granted to those who lived virtuously, and a baby boy to those who lived badly.
But no matter where I looked, the explanations in encyclopedias and such were similar to the novel I just read.
I wondered if this encyclopedia had wrong information, so I browsed the internet, but ironically, the people saying what I thought were an extreme minority.
Most sources stated that a baby is made through 'sex,' just like in the novel, with a 50% chance of determining the gender.
And it was written that the child is created by mixing the man and woman who had sex half-and-half, an explanation fit for a romantic novel.
"Is this content for real?"
It felt like I'd been hit hard on the head.
I never doubted it for a second, thinking it was common sense—what is this?
Feeling a suffocating sensation in my chest, I went to the living room to get some water.
Only after chugging a glass of water from the purifier did I feel a bit clearer-headed....
"Urgh?"
Suddenly, a numb, piercing sensation shot through my head.
And for some reason, memories I couldn't recall until just now began to surface bit by bit.
The male manager I usually annoyed out of irritation.
Was his name Park Eun-hyuk?
Memories of meeting him on the rooftop.
"Huh?"
I thought that much was normal, but then my memory cut out briefly, and the next thing I knew, I was naked.
Park Eun-hyuk started meticulously touching my body.
It reminded me of the 'caressing' I'd just read about in the novel.
I wasn't stopping his actions, which I surely should have disliked, but was instead letting out moans and feeling small pleasures.
So, moaning isn't just for pain; it can also happen when you feel good.
So that's why the girl in the novel moaned while mingling bodies with the boy.
Even as I realized this, I felt my face turning red at the fact that I was the one in that position instead of her.
"I did that?"
It wasn't a perfect memory.
But I distinctly remembered feeling happy emotions welling up whenever Park Eun-hyuk smiled and said something to me, and whenever he touched my body.
What is this?
"Huh?"
Furthermore, just like in the novel, the memory of Park Eun-hyuk's dick entering my pussy, and how I grew happier as the act continued, was striking my brain.
What? What the hell?
Why had I forgotten this happened?
"Heut!?"
Moreover, the bubbling happiness I felt when his semen was poured into my womb was now dizzying my present mind.
What is this pleasure?
Why was I even doing that with him in the first place?
In the novel, it was an act between people in love, right?
And as time passed, we started doing the same act the next day.
But I had grown accustomed to accepting his dick.
I even became more proactive myself, sometimes actively seeking out his body.
Occasionally, Park Eun-hyuk would take photos of me and show me; in those photos, I looked incredibly happy, my eyes glazed over.
No, I didn't need to see the photos to know that.
Because the pleasure and happiness of each moment were all recorded in my mind.
"K-Kiss?"
This was the memory that ultimately sealed my conviction.
No matter how little I knew about sex, I knew that kissing was something you did with someone you loved.
But the 'me' in the memory was feeling truly happy while kissing Park Eun-hyuk.
There were memories of being intimate with him again after that, but the earlier memories alone were enough to convince me.
The 'me' in the memories loved Park Eun-hyuk.
Then why are these memories so vague and piecemeal?
"My memory has been strange lately..."
I couldn't recall when I started liking him, or when our relationship progressed to the point of doing such acts.
Nothing came to mind.
But the one thing that was certain was that I loved him, and I was happy kissing him and doing the baby-making act with him.
"S-so, I was in love like that too."
I often read romance novels dealing with love.
When I read those novels, I often thought I wanted to experience such deep love myself.
Of course, I read today thinking the same thing.
But it turns out I was already in such a love.
I was mingling bodies and even engaging in the act of making a baby, finding happiness in each other's every gesture.
And those memories were so happy that they were imprinted in my mind, each one making my body tremble.
"Hahh♡"
The moment I became aware of all the memories, just thinking about him made my body tremble.
Is this the feeling of being in love?
If this is it, I think I can clearly understand why people in novels are so crazy in love.
Because, because.
"I had no idea it felt this good."
I slumped to the floor and started touching my own body.
He definitely touched me here.
Retracing each of his touches with my own hand, I reminisced about the traces of love he left on me.
"Ahhuk♡ This♡ Was strange♡"
Even though I was just touching myself while imagining it was him, it felt so good it made my head spin.
The floating sensation continued bit by bit, and my body felt like it was twisting.
And at that moment, I realized my pussy was wet.
"Hheuk♡ Down here is so♡ Wet like this...."
Recalling the memory of him putting his dick inside my pussy, I poked inside my pussy with my finger.
But it wasn't enough.
This isn't enough.
It's way too different from his.
"Need some help?"
At that moment, I thought I heard his voice.
Of course, that couldn't be.
This is the house where I live alone.
"Yes♡ I love you, so please fuck me here with your dick♡"
But even if no one's here, isn't it worth saying?
What if this is a dream? Maybe he'll really appear and mingle his body with mine?
At that moment, I felt the sensation of a dick tapping tok tok against my belly.
"Hic? Hiiic♡"
My mind seemed to go blank.
My loved one's dick.
It was definitely his.
Just by tapping, it conveyed love to me.
And that alone was enough to make me lost in happiness, floating in the clouds.
This, this is real love.
"Hahuu♡ I love you♡"
"Yeah, sure, you bitch."
Ah, I'm so happy♡
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advanced Chapters @Patreon.com/c/ReiReiRei73 OR buymeacoffee.com/reireirei73