Vegeta rushed over to a chef who had collapsed on the ground in fear.
The food cart beside him had overturned, scattering freshly made takoyaki everywhere.
Fortunately, one box remained intact.
Vegeta snatched it up and hurried toward Beerus.
He bowed deeply, holding the food above his head with both hands.
"God of Destruction Beerus…"
Vegeta's voice trembled slightly.
"Th-this… this is a special snack from Earth. Please… please try it."
Everything on the deck came to a halt.
All eyes focused on that ordinary-looking box of takoyaki.
Beerus slowly lowered his raised hand.
With a hint of disdain, he picked up one piece.
He placed it into his mouth.
Bit down lightly.
Instantly—
Beerus's eyes widened.
An indescribable flavor exploded across his taste buds.
The outer layer was perfectly crisp.
The inside was soft, glutinous, and piping hot.
Combined with the springy, chewy octopus pieces—
It was a taste Beerus had never experienced before.
"Mmm—!"
A satisfied sound escaped him.
His chewing sped up immediately.
After a few bites, he swallowed it whole.
Then, under everyone's stunned gazes, he snatched the entire paper box from Vegeta's hands.
Tilting his head back, he poured the remaining takoyaki into his mouth like beans.
His cheeks bulged.
Beerus closed his eyes, his expression bordering on ecstasy.
Seeing this—
Everyone's taut nerves finally relaxed.
They were saved.
Krillin's legs gave out, and he collapsed onto the ground.
Vegeta stared at Beerus's blissful expression, his tightly wound body finally easing.
"Delicious—!!!" Beerus swallowed and let out a thunderous exclamation.
He licked his lips, clearly unsatisfied, and turned his gaze toward the kitchen.
His eyes shone with longing.
"Hey! Earthlings!" Beerus pointed sharply in that direction.
"Is there more of this?! Bring me a hundred servings! And bring out everything delicious you've got! If you can satisfy me, the matter of destroying Earth will be completely written off! Did you hear me?! Move it!"
"Sushi! Tempura! Teppanyaki! Ramen! Roasted whole beef!"
"And my treasured strawberry cake! Pudding! Ice cream! Bring it all out!"
"Today, God of Destruction Beerus will eat to his heart's content!"
Soon, exquisite dishes were continuously brought onto the deck.
A long dining table was specially prepared for Beerus and Whis.
Beerus completely dropped his God of Destruction demeanor.
He grabbed a sizzling piece of top-grade wagyu beef, stuffed it into his mouth, and narrowed his eyes in delight.
Then he lifted a steaming bowl of tonkotsu ramen and slurped everything down—noodles and soup included.
Fatty tuna sushi vanished in a single bite each.
Whis, in contrast, remained elegant.
He picked up a slice of sashimi as thin as a cicada's wing, dipped it in soy sauce and wasabi, and gracefully placed it into his mouth.
"Mmm~~ The sensation of fish fat melting on the tongue is truly sublime."
After tasting a piece of strawberry cake, Whis smiled warmly.
"Delicate cream, slightly sour strawberries, and a soft chiffon base… Earth's creativity in desserts is astonishing."
"I never imagined—" Android 18 glanced at the God of Destruction devouring food like a starving beast reborn and smirked faintly.
"That the thing that saved the world… Wasn't a Super Saiyan God. But a box of takoyaki."
Loren popped a grape into his mouth and stretched lazily.
"So that's how it is. Food really is the greatest power in the universe."
The feast dragged on for a long time.
Finally, Beerus let out a long burp and leaned back in his chair.
He patted his slightly bulging belly, his face filled with rare satisfaction.
"Burp…"
"Not bad. Truly not bad."
His voice once again silenced the deck.
Beerus stood up and stretched, joints cracking audibly.
"The food on this planet is diverse. And the taste is unique enough."
His golden slit pupils swept across everyone present.
Finally, they landed on Bulma.
"Hey, Earth woman. For the sake of this food… I've decided."
Beerus grinned, showing a full set of white teeth.
"For now, Earth will be spared. However—"
His tone shifted.
"Food like today's must always be ready. I might visit at any time."
"No problem! Absolutely no problem!" Bulma thumped her chest confidently.
"God of Destruction Beerus and Mr. Whis are always welcome!"
"Hmph." Beerus nodded, satisfied.
At last, this nightmare seemed to be ending.
"Whis, let's head back. I need a nap to digest."
"Of course, Lord Beerus."
Whis replied gently, bowing slightly.
Just as everyone believed the crisis was completely over—
Beerus suddenly stopped.
"Oh, right."
He turned around, scanning the deck once more.
Vegeta's body tensed, cold sweat forming at his temple.
What now…?
"Whis originally brought me here to find a Saiyan named Loren. I got too caught up in the Super Saiyan God… And that platinum-haired dream. I almost forgot my real purpose."
Beerus narrowed his eyes.
"Which one of you…
…is Loren?"
Goku and Vegeta both froze.
Their gazes instinctively shifted.
"That would be me."
Loren lifted a hand casually.
Beerus's eyes locked onto him.
He stepped forward, walking leisurely until he stood before Loren.
Looking down at the man lounging in his chair, Beerus examined him carefully.
After a long moment, he spoke in a low voice.
"You seem… Quite strong."
For God of Destruction Beerus to personally say quite strong—
That alone was terrifying.
And indeed, the strongest being on Earth at this moment was Loren.
It was just that everyone knew his temperament, so they usually didn't bother him.
Beerus leaned in closer.
"Everyone else was terrified just now. But you… It looked like you never cared at all."
...
Author's Note:
The fanfic Dragon Ball: I Became Invincible by Being a Lazy Salted Fish! is now fully completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection:
📚 Dragon Ball (Chapters 1–404)
Organized into 47 posts, with multiple chapters per post for easy binge reading.
🔥 I also have additional 18+ fanfics available for readers who enjoy exclusive mature stories. 😉
1. Dragon Ball: Oolong's Sex Adventure
2. Elements of Lust – ATLA & Korra Mixed Smut
3. Doraemon: Filtering with Nobi Tamako
4. The Naive Me Who Became Someone's Everyday Secret
5. High School DxD: Rias Gremory, the Phenex Bride
6. Versatile Mage: Awakening the Succubus System
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