The fan edit continued.
A cheerful, bouncy little tune played in the background as the camera showed—
Zhonglii, sprinting through Dadaupa Gorge with the joyful abandon of a delinquent toddler.
"Heh—heh—ha!"
Twisting his long spear, he gleefully hammered hilichurls into the dirt one after another.
"Hey! Bouncy bombs~~!"
He folded his arms proudly—
BOOOOOOM!!
A meteor crashed from the heavens, erupting into a towering mushroom cloud.
Slimes, hilichurls, and Ruin Guards vanished in a flash of molten debris.
"This time I used the non-fishing-nerf power-up version. Clean sweep! Hee-hee!"
Giggling like a gremlin, Zhonglii bounded from Starfell Lake straight to Dawn Winery.
His long legs took tiny, mischievous steps—as if he were skipping class and loving it.
But just as he was about to swagger back into Mondstadt—
A familiar, elegant silhouette stepped forward.
"Lili, you are aware there are consequences for this… correct?"
Acting Grand Master Jean stood with hands on hips, brows drawn tight, her expression cold enough to freeze Barbatos' wine supply.
The cheerful background music screeched to a halt.
VIP Chatroom Explosion
[Kaeya]: That's the Acting Grand Master! Even she got pulled into this? Hahaha!
[Amber]: STOP— I can't breathe— bangs desk
[Albedo]: He is absolutely getting locked in the little dark room.
[Lisa]: Jean is always so strict~ ♥
[Klee]: Yeah! Jean's suuuper scary! She always locks me up in the dark room! I'm in there right now making bombs! (sad.jpg)
[Jean]: …I'm too tired for this.
[Xingqiu]: The… the dark room…? Making bombs?!
[Kuki Shinobu]: Honestly… Klee scares me more.
[Razor]: She. Real. Scary.
[Hu Tao]: HAH! Zhongli getting grounded—this is priceless!
[Chongyun]: My head… those zoom-ins… my Dao heart… wavering…
[Thoma]: Why put such a cute face on a grown man's body?! This is a crime!
[Bennett]: It's not "weird"… it's a disaster!
[Tighnari]: Heart… pain… this is arrhythmia…
[Dori]: Heart troubles? I've got medicine! Old customers get 20% off—and free silk stockings~
[Eula]: I've been injured. This grudge is recorded! @The Mishearing Maniac
The video moved on.
Zhonglii was thrown into solitary confinement.
Clock hands spun in a comedic montage—days passing in seconds.
Click.
The door to the dark room swung open.
Zhonglii popped out, gave the camera a V-sign, and beamed like a sunny kindergarten kid.
"Yay—!!"
He burst from the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, dashed across Dawn Winery's bridge, and startled an entire flock of Timmie's beloved pigeons.
"Hee-hee, da-da-da~~~"
With arms outstretched, he pranced away in tiny rebellious steps.
"Alrighty! Full power, poi~~!!"
Everywhere he went—things exploded.
Slimes burst. Hilichurls flew. Ruin Guards toppled.
It was a tour of destruction from Windrise to Falcon Coast, Whispering Woods to Guili Plains.
The camera followed him from behind:
a lone figure strolling cheerfully as the world detonated in his wake.
A man who never looks back at explosions.
A menace.
A legend.
At the end, Zhonglii minced his old-man steps into Liyue Harbor, his back disappearing into the crowd on Chihu Rock…
The screen faded to black.
Then his bright voice echoed:
"Next time, come blow up fish with Zhonglii!"
Video end.
VIP Chatroom Massacre #2
[La Signora]: …pfft. I can't hold it. You win, @The Mishearing Maniac.
[Childe]: M-Mr. Zhongli… this is tragic! HAHAHAHA—
[Paimon]: Three seconds of silence for this… poor stranger named Zhongli… pfft!
[Itto]: BROOOO YOU'RE KILLING ME! KEEP GOING!
[Xingqiu]: Creative, yes. Psychologically damaging? Also yes.
[Chongyun]: I must enter seclusion immediately or my Dao heart will shatter.
[Keqing]: No—no, I mustn't laugh—still working— pfft! HAHAHAHA—!
[Yelan]: I was tired before my mission. Now I'm wide awake. Thanks stranger.
[Thoma]: Outrageous! Absolutely… hahaha… outrageous!
[Ayaka]: This… video… is a trial of endurance. bitter smile
[Kokomi]: Sigh… my mental energy is fully depleted again…
[Kujou Sara]: Thank goodness it was a little girl's face. If it were the Shogun's… shudders
[Lisa]: Finally over… Felt longer than a Grand Sage lecture…
[Albedo]: Worse than Alice's experiments. Much worse.
[Kaeya]: Ahaha~ I actually enjoyed that.
[Eula]: Do NOT involve me. Or I'll pursue him with the fury of Mona.
[Barbara]: Couldn't agree more… sigh
Meanwhile, at Xinyue Kiosk…
Zhongli sat stiffly at the table, unable to enjoy so much as a peanut.
Even during the Archon War…
Even when sealing Azhdaha…
Even fighting gods and calamities…
He had never been this spiritually exhausted.
His erosion felt like it had advanced an entire century.
The other Adepti were just as devastated.
Speechless.
Vomiting metaphorical blood.
Emotionally annihilated.
The terror of "fan-made content" had finally reached them.
And they all had the same thought:
If we find the culprit behind this… Xiao will strike first. And none of us will stop him.
Public Chatroom – Total Collapse
[Goodwin]: MY EYES! I'M GOING BLIND LIKE GLORY!!
[Ruhavi]: Fish: "You are divine. You are noble."
[Ekaterina]: So Zhongli got chased out of Mondstadt AND Liyue?
[Rocky]: Liyue: "Don't come here!"
[Dongsheng]: This video is too damn cursed!
[Bolai]: My back! My old bones nearly snapped from laughing!
[Anxi]: That close-up smile HURT ME.
[Tarik]: I'm traumatized.
[Tide]: I'm blind. How do I flirt now?!
[Kurisu]: What mental state was the creator in during production?!
[Chang the Ninth]: This is true underworld art! The real power of Wangsheng's Consultant!
[Uesugi]: Wangsheng and the Knights are both dead silent right now…
[Zheping]: Why was I forced to see this?!
[Serius]: Everyone knows fan works kill us twice!
[Iron Tongue Tian]: Too cursed. Let Azhdaha step on him!
[Asfard]: Thanks, mod. You ruined my dinner.
[Dina Zedai]: My illness feels worse…
[Dehya]: Miss, please be careful…
◇ I'll be dropping one bonus chapters for every 10 reviews. comment
◇ One bonus chapter will be released for every 100 Power Stones.
◇ You can read 50 chapter ahead on P@treon if you're interested: patreon.com/Mona_studios
◇ Visit P@treon now to grab your offer of 30% off on all additional chapters on all tiers. Hurry up offer is ending soon.