Chapter 11: (HATE OR GRUDGE?)
The familiar heaviness of my eyelids, started swallowing my vision, that same crushing darkness that comes after before I die, but my mind kept working even as everything faded.
When I opened my eyes, the familiar ceiling of the old room that first to greet me.
I stared at it for a long second, breathing hard.
"Why… why were those shadowy figures angry at me when I was in the river?"
My voice cracked.
"And what was that creature? That thing wasn't normal. It felt… it felt like the same level as a Demon Lord."
System window showed infront.
[NO DATA]
"Tch…" I covered my face with my palm. "You're useless sometimes I mean the whole time."
I got up again—
ran out of the room—
and sprinted back toward the river.
Four times.
I died four more times before even reaching the riverside again.
Arrows in the back, neck snapped, body torn.
Each death was painful, slow, and humiliating.
But on the fifth reset…
I finally reached the river without being killed.
I stood there, panting, sweat dripping down the side of my face.
"Finally… they stopped chasing me. And I'm back."
I gritted my teeth.
"I won't die if I don't touch the river… right?"
The system responded flatly.
[ANSWER: UNKNOWN]
"Great. Thanks. Very helpful," I muttered.
I stayed at the edge of the river, the river rocks and pebbles can be felt in my feet.
crk
tk-tk
crrrk
tchkk
Then— there it was again.
The same giant deer emerged along the riverbank. It had to be at least twenty feet tall—an overwhelming silhouette that dwarfed the forest around it.
Its fur was a deep, earthy brown, but it wasn't dull. Faint green light pulsed beneath the strands, as if the forest itself breathed through its body. Dozens of fireflies drifted around it, clinging to its fur and circling its horns.
Every step it took sent a slow ripple through the soil, and the fireflies glowed brighter with each movement, outlining the long curve of its spine and its mascular towering legs.
Its movements were slow, controlled—
like it knew that someone's suspicious already in her territory.
I felt its gaze before I even looked up.
When our eyes met, everything around us went quiet.
No wind.
No water.
Just pure tension.
Then—
some of the fireflies around its body peeled away, drifting across the river toward me like floating green stars.
My heartbeat stopped.
I raised both hands slowly, palms up.
"I'm… I'm not here to show any harm," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Lord of the river… please let me stay. I just need time."
The fireflies came closer—
their glow bright and soft, like warm lanterns.
But the moment three of them touched the air around me,
my knees buckled.
My legs collapsed to the ground.
My hands slammed onto the dirt.
I couldn't breathe—
my chest burned like someone poured acid into my lungs.
"W-What…?"
Blood dripped out of my mouth as I coughed violently.
My heart felt like a fist squeezing it from the inside.
"WHY!?" I yelled, gripping my chest tightly as the pain spread down my arms.
"Why is this happening!? Did I do something that might anger her?"
The system flickered.
[Ivy Luminescent Fly]
Poison of the Dead Trees
The green fireflies drifted toward me, the moment they touched my skin, the pain hit.
A sharp, burning sting.
At first it felt like tiny needles.
Then it felt like teeth.
The fireflies clung to my arms, my neck, my face—chewing, tearing, sinking into my skin as their soft glow brightened.
I watched in horror as they pushed deeper, burrowing under my flesh one by one, their light spreading beneath my skin like veins of green fire.
My knees buckled.
I collapsed into the wet earth, trembling.
The pain twisted into something stranger—warm, wild, almost… euphoric.
My thoughts cracked at the edges, and even as the fireflies carved their way inside me, a distorted smile pulled across my face.
"Hah… why… does this feel… pleasant?" I whispered, unable to stop myself.
Maybe instinct.
Maybe madness.
Maybe the poison crawling through my blood.
All I knew was that as the fireflies burrowed deeper and deeper, their glow shone brighter beneath my skin, and my mind slipped further into something I couldn't control.
Then I heard it—
VWOOM! VWOOM! VWOOM! VWOOM!
Each pulse shook the air around me, like the world itself was taking heavy breaths.
The deer's massive horns began to glow—first faint, then blinding—pulling every trace of mana from the surroundings and maybe from the stars above. The trees shake. The river rippled backward. The air thinned as if something was sucking the life out of it.
The creature slowly turned its head toward me.
Its glowing white eyes locked onto mine.
For a moment, everything went silent.
Then—
KRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
A thunderous roar exploded from its three-split jaw, shaking the entire riverbank.
The sound hit me like a hammer to the skull. My vision cracked.
A sharp wet pop burst inside my ears.
My eardrums tore open.
Blood streamed down my neck as the world muffled, then muted completely.
The roar didn't stop—my body just stopped being able to hear it.
And that made my death even faster.
[YOU DIED]
Then I woke up in my bed again.
My whole body jerked upright, drenched in cold sweat, my breath shaking like I had just climbed out of a nightmare I couldn't escape from. The ceiling looked the same… but it felt disgustingly uncomfortable to look at now.
I pressed my palm against my face and let out a long, shaky exhale.
"Should I really go back to the river…? Is that the only place I can survive?"
My voice cracked, weak and tired.
"That deer… it hates me. Or it wants me dead. For some reason I don't even understand."
"I died again…" I whispered. "What is that creature? Where am I supposed to go? What choice do I even have…?"
I leaned forward, clutching my head with both hands.
"I'm tired… I'm so tired already… my mind feels like it's breaking… I'm getting insane. My insanity is on the line."