KHANYISILE
I got used to this routine. Waking up this early, going to gym or go jogging. It became my coping mechanism, my way of releasing stress, my way of clearing my mind and just forget about everything, it became therapeutic for me, even my kids started to join me after a while and it became more fun. It felt like we are recovering together, it felt like they understood what I was going through and they just wanted to be there. What I love about them is how they know when I'm not ok and they would come and sit with me and not say anything but in a way they are letting me know that they are always here for me, they did it back then, they still do it now. I think I'm going to use the home gym today. I'll use the treadmill, I don't feel like going out jogging today and since it's winter, it's too dark outside at this time. My kids love their sleep, they only use the gym in the afternoon or evenings. Having 5 kids is no child's play. They can be very demanding. Khaya – 25, Linamandla – 19, Lonwabo – 16, Ntando – 15 and Lwanele – 12, my little tribe, my people, my pride and joy. Khaya has his own place, Lina is a varsity student doing her second year who stays at the school res and the rest are high school brats. The shower always feels good after a hectic hour in the gym. I'm all dressed and ready for the day. Now I must get breakfast ready for the kids.
Kids: Morning mom (as they enter the kitchen taking their sits)
Me: Morning babies
Lwanele: Mom you know it's Thursday today and I have Ballet after school. (She says with a big smile on her face. She absolutely loves ballet although she says she doesn't want to be professional dancer. In fact my baby just loves dancing. She is also taking hip hop dance classes.)
Me: I know baby, I'll drop you off at the studio and I'll ask Andile to pick you up, I'll be in a meeting by the time you finish.
Lwanele: Ok mom that's fine.
Me: Ok guys finish up so we can get going otherwise we'll be late.
Lonwabo: Mom can we use the Raptor today and mom we also have rugby practice today.
Me: No problem. Andile will also fetch guys.
We finish up packing our things and we get going. I drop them at school and I rush to work. As I walk into my office putting my bags down, Ibanathi rushes in with my cup of hot water and gives me a run down of my meetings today and tells me I have an unexpected visitor waiting for me in the waiting area.
Me: Nathi who is that so early in the morning?
Nathi: Baby Daddy. (that comes out as a whisper but loud enough for me to hear him)
Me: Nathi what the hell does he want, I don't need his drama today, I have a very busy day ahead of me.
Nathi: Just talk to him now, your first meeting is in an hour.
Me: I swear Nathi, one of these day, I'm going to kill Nkosikhona. Bring him in and he is not baby daddy, he is just a sperm donor
Nathi laughs at me as he walks out of my office. This is really rubbing me up the wrong way all of a sudden now he wants to be a father, where the hell was he all these years, wasting my energy begging him to be a father to his kids and now he has the audacity to show up unannounced at my house and office. God please give strength.
NKOSIKHONA
I've been sitting waiting for Khanyi to show up. I just want her to allow me to do right by my kids and I probably don't have the right to call them my kids but they are, Khanyi keeps saying it's too late now and it's not her decision to make. But these kids won't talk to me and she doesn't understand that I need her to help me reconnect with them. I know they are grown now, I mean Khaya is 25 and working and he is doing quite well for himself and Lina is a second year varsity student. I've been keeping tabs on them.
Ibanathi: She'll see you now, you only have 30 minutes, she has a meeting to get to. Come this way
Me: finally, thanks.
Nathi: I wouldn't be so excited if I were you.
I just look at him and nod, I know exactly what he means. As we walk into the office, she's sitting on the one sitter couch and she has a cup in her hands, she's probably drinking hot lemon water.
Her: thanks Nathi, can you bring a cup of coffee, (she turns to look at me and asks if that's fine, she knows I don't like coffee. I think she's just trying to get under my skin.)
Me: Juice will be fine thanks (she turns to look at her assistant and nods)
Her: What do you want Nkosikhona, I am very busy
Nkosikhona: I just want to do right by them.
Khanyi: I told you before, it is not up to me. If they don't want to talk to you, I can't force them. You made your bed now you lay in it. If there's nothing else please excuse me I have work to do.
Me: Khanyi I know you hate me and I know you'll never forgive for abandoning you guys but please help me out here.
Khanyi: Don't get it twisted bra. I don't hate you, I don't have the energy to hate and I forgave you a long time ago. Like I said, it's not up to me, it's up to them. Now you are really pissing me off, please leave before I do something I'll regret. Just leave please.
I stand up and walk to the door and she says to me "next time make an appointment otherwise I'll have you thrown out on second thought, I'll just shoot you." And I know she means it. She has always been intimidating but now I think she's even more intimidating. I walk out of her office. She is right about one thing though that it is up to the kids, they are adults now, they can make their own decisions and I understand that she can only say so much to them. She is very protective of the kids and I know she'll do anything to protect them, even from me.
KHANYISILE
Argh this man is just trying to ruin my day. Would I be so wrong if I kill him, at least I won't have to deal with his irritating self. Argh, I pick up my office phone and call Nathi. He walks in smiling ear to ear. This PA of mine is always in a jolly good mood and I like that, sometimes it rubs off on me. I'm actually great full for him. I really don't know how I would cope with all of this, he just knows how to brighten my day.
Me: Nathi next time Nkosikhona comes here without an appointment, get security to throw him out better yet tell them to shoot him.
Nathi: Sure thing Lady K. It's time to get ready for your meetings. After this meeting you have a meeting with Khaya regarding QM Architectural Company.
Me: Oh yes, we have to discuss the deal and he also has to let them know they got the deal.
Nathi: Come now, your clients are waiting.
Me: Is everything set up
Nathi: Yes everything is set up and I got an energy drink, I know you don't like them but you are going to need it.
Me: Thanks Nathi. I say as we walk out of the office and I head to the boardroom. This is one those meetings I don't really like to handle because I have to deal with men who believe women should not be in business but the head of marketing is out of town this week. I really don't understand these men, if this is how they feel, why did they even agree to do business with me maybe they like dealing with Vuyo, I can't blame them, he is good at what he does. He laughed when I told him that his crew wanted a meeting with him today and because he is not here I have to deal with these idiots. He must just come back.
When I got to the boardroom, they weren't happy to see me, I had to tell them that Vuyo is out of town and they'll just have to suck it up and deal with me. I must say the meeting went well though, they are happy with everything we offered, they made a few minor changes in the presentation that Vuyo gave them, so he will have to deal with that.
And now I'm sitting here having my energy drink waiting for my son. I'm really proud of the person he has become, he has come a long a way. The fact that his father didn't want to be a part of his life hit hard at some point in his life. He had to grow up and start taking responsibility for his life. He has come a long way and he is doing very well for himself. As he walks in
Him: Hey Ma (hugs me and kisses my cheek) How are you
Me: I'm good and how are you
Khaya: I'm good, I'm good. (He doesn't look good at all)
Me: What's wrong
Him: Nothing ma, let's get started.
Me: Remember I know you, start talking
Him: I broke up with my girlfriend, I went to her place and found her in bed with another man.
Me: She was never yours baby. Did you love her?
Him: I loved her but I know I was not in love with her and we've only been dating for year.
Me: And you never brought her home, that alone should tell you something. Look sweetie, the fact that you know you were not in love with her is something, and she showed you who she really is before you were into deep. The one for you is out there, you will meet her when you are ready for her and when she is ready for you. You should give me "Barbie's address, she can't mess with you like that and get away with it. Always remember that not every woman is like Barbie.
Him: Mom please stop it, you are not going to do anything to her, just leave her be, that's what I'm doing. Anyway QM Architects, what have you decided.
Me: We are not done with Barbie. I'm giving the deal to them. I liked the presentation and I love the building design.
We go on about this deal, the finances, the specs of the building and everything and he also calls Mr Mthimkhulu to tell him he got the deal. I love how my son gets excited about a new project, he is very passionate about his work.
Me: Before you leave, your father was here. (I see the expression on his face it's the one that says I'm not interested. )
Khaya: what does He want? As far as I am concerned I don't have a father.
Me: I know baby and I understand how you feel and I am not about to tell you to speak to him if you don't want to. I do think that it's time you and Lina forgave him for you, for your own sanity. I'm not saying be friends with him or anything just forgive and not hold a grudge because holding a grudge against him will destroy you and you've come too far. It destroyed you once, don't let it destroy you again. I love you baby and I just want to see you happy.
Khaya: I hear you mom. Believe me I hear you. I love you too. By the way you should start dating.
Me: I see you are changing the subject. (He does that when he doesn't want to continue with the topic at hand.) I just ignore him.
When we are done he leaves for his next meeting and I call Eddie to find Barbie for me. The day goes on, meeting after meeting. By 6 I'm done and head home. I'm late today.