Makoto Uchiha drummed his fingers on the table like he was playing chill jazz, corner of his mouth doing that half-smirk thing that screams "I know something you don't."
Future clan head. Current Uchiha golden child. Strongest prodigy the clan's seen in generations. Dude's résumé is basically a flex in human form.
And right now? He's 100% sure what Cloud's gonna do once they kidnap his ass:
Option A: Lock him in a basement and turn him into a full-time breeding stud with every hot kunoichi they've got. 24/7 "cultural exchange."
Option B: Realize he's a once-in-a-millennium freak of nature, shower him with money, jutsu, and prime waifu candidates until he's basically Cloud's second coming of Madara (except loyal).
No village on the planet could resist the temptation of creating their own personal god of war.
Throw in a few more baddies like Samui and Azuki, make him fall in love with the place, boom—Uchiha Cloud Branch, population: him and a dozen future kids.
Honestly? He's not even sweating it.
If Cloud gets cold feet… well, he's got a going-away present ready.
Art is an explosion, baby. The whole village gets to see a baby sun at midnight. Real romantic. Very Deidara-coded.
Makoto glanced at the blinking [Art is a Freaking Explosion] icon on his system panel and grinned wider.
Hell yeah, he's buying that nuke button. While he's at Cloud he'll rob their lightning-body jutsu library blind, make some cash, and (because gamer brain) sample the local "hospitality." Win-win-win.
The charcoal at Ichiraku BBQ crackled like it was hyped too, painting his face in firelight.
[Loan 10 million ryō?]
"Do it."
Panel went nuclear—golden flash brighter than the grill. Progress bar filled instantly. Instant approval, no credit check. God-tier credit score.
[10,000,000 ryō deposited]
[Purchase "Art is a Freaking Explosion"?]
"Hell yes."
Golden light poured straight into his brain, warm like good whiskey. Knowledge slammed home—seal-less, no-chakra-cost nuke jutsu now etched into his soul.
One thought and Konoha gets a front-row seat to the surface of the sun. Population instantly becomes "well-done."
And the higher his power level climbs? The bigger the boom. Six Paths Makoto using this? Goodbye continent.
He felt so damn secure right now he almost moaned.
Outside, the blizzard had stopped. Moonlight turned the snow silver, Hokage Mountain looking extra dramatic.
Makoto glanced at the Cloud table. Azuki was scratching the tabletop like a nervous cat. Samui kept sneaking looks at him while pretending to stare out the window, knuckles white on her teacup.
They were still debating whether to kidnap him or not.
Makoto smirked. Time to help them make up their minds.
Hesitation is defeat. Time to give 'em the push.
Cloud crew finally finished eating, still waffling. Azuki tapped the table—still no decision. Guess they'd talk it over back at the hotel.
Door creaked open, cold air and snow blowing in like drama.
Makoto stood up, followed them out into the night.
Money in the bank, nuke in the pocket. At this point even if they tried to chicken out, he was gonna make sure they "kidnapped" him.
Who's hunting who now, bitches?
He stepped outside, clocked ANBU and Root shadows in the corners, and turned the dial up to eleven.
Walked faster. Stared harder.
Samui's gray jacket was doing God's work—every step made things… bounce. Snow-white thighs flashing between boots and hem. Blonde strands stuck to her neck like she'd just stepped out of an ad.
Azuki beside her was the total opposite—dark skin against white snow like living ink art. Sharp, sexy, and dangerous.
Makoto full-on ogled. Zero shame.
ANBU and Root tails immediately freaked—Uchiha prodigy tailing Cloud ninja and eye-banging their women? Emergency meeting time.
Half the shadows peeled off to snitch.
…
Hokage's office—dim lamp, thick smoke.
Hiruzen was chain-smoking over the Hyuga-Cloud mess when—
"Lord Hokage!"
White-haired ANBU (Kakashi in disguise) burst in, knee on the floor.
"Makoto Uchiha ran into the Cloud delegation at the BBQ place… and now he's following them."
Hiruzen burned his finger on the pipe before reacting. "Any conversation?"
"Zero words. But, uh… he was staring at the two female Cloud ninja's… assets. Like, full drool mode."
Hiruzen actually relaxed. Took a relieved drag.
"Ah. Hormones. Been there."
(Back in the day he and Danzo were two-and-a-half perverts sneaking into hot springs.)
Still, he wasn't dropping guard. "Keep eyes on him. Any move, report instantly."
Then quieter: "And tail Danzo. Make sure he doesn't push the Hyuga into open rebellion."
Kakashi nodded, vanishing. Still side-eyeing the memory—Makoto's stare had been hungry, sure, but that smirk? Something else entirely.
…
Root basement—dank and moody as usual.
Danzo sat rubbing his temple after verbally waterboarding the Hyuga elders all day. Planning tomorrow's guilt trip to steal their geniuses.
"Sir—Makoto Uchiha is with the Cloud delegation. Following them. Staring at the women's chests and asses."
Danzo blinked. Then actually laughed—cold and raspy.
"Another pervert, just like Sarutobi. Women will be the death of his ambition."
His original plan: wait till the Cloud mess is over, then harvest those eyes.
But now? Eyebrows raised.
Weakness: horniness. Exploit it.
Kid's mouth is sharper than kunai. Properly motivated (or blackmailed), he'd be more useful alive and loyal.
Danzo wasn't petty. For the village? He'd adopt the little demon himself.
"Send the Root kunoichi," he ordered. "Make contact."
…
Street corner—snow crunching.
Makoto trailing at perfect "please kidnap me" distance.
Cloud squad still arguing with eye contact.
The second they turned the corner, out of ANBU/Root sightlines—
Buzz—
Makoto vanished.
Game on.