Beat it into me?
Rainer raised a dubious brow.
Not in the nine hells!
Rommel leaned forward, shifting his hat. "Look, kid. We're all that's left of Capo Breaker's men. All you have to do is follow my lead and we'll get through this."
Rainer sighed, looking away as he slumped deeper into his chair.
"I wanna quit."
He suddenly confessed, and Rommel recoiled, confused.
"W-what?"
"Yeah. Apparently, the ladies don't like the mafia these days."
Rommel's brow furrowed, his expression darkening as he leaned forward with a clenched fist on the table.
"You don't know what you're saying, Kid. You're an Initiate now. There's no going back. If the Organization gets a whiff of this, you'd be popped before you can even yell, 'Forgive me!'"
However, Rainer continued as if he hadn't heard a word.
"Penis enlargement."
Rommel blinked severally, perplexed.
"Huh!?"
Rainer sniffed and drew closer, glancing around like he was about to reveal a secret.
"Hey," he whispered. "I know a potion for penis enlargement. Let's run away and start a penis lotion company together."
Rommel ran a hand across his short dark hair with an exhausted sigh, scowling.
"Well, shit! The only member I have left is brain-damaged! Curse my luck!"
Rainer smiled knowingly. "We'll get a lot of customers, you know. Men like you who talk down on others to get off would come flooding in!"
Rommel's neck grinded as he turned towards him, squinted gaze cutting.
"The fuck did you just say to me?"
Rainer winked. "You heard me, tiger."
Triggered, Rommel lunged across the table, clasping Rainer's shirt and pulling him close.
"Perhaps a good beating might knock some sense of self-preservation back into you, punk." he muttered in a dangerous tone.
Rainer smiled. "Don't be insecure now. Prove it to me, tiger," he whispered, voice strained against the hold.
"Let me see it." His tone dipped, near sultry. "I want your dick in my hands!"
Rommel gritted his teeth in disgust. "You sick fuc—"
He suddenly paused, and Rainer blinked, noticing something.
Then, as one, they both turned to the waitress standing by their table, silently watching them.
The tray of meals she held wobbled as she panted, drool just about trailing from the corner of her mouth.
"..."
"..."
Noticing their stares, the waitress's cheeks flushed a darker red. She wiped her face and quickly approached, skillfully placing the plates down.
"Excuse me." She muttered, then fled without a moment's wait.
Seeing the food covering the table, Rommel hesitantly let go.
"Heh! You'd better thank your luck that I'm famished, Rainer," Rommel remarked, reaching for a burger.
Rainer was already tying a napkin around his neck, his eyes devouring the food before his hands could reach it.
He grabbed a sandwich and chewed quickly, taking a big gulp of milk a moment later.
"Gahhh!" he exclaimed with a contented sigh.
"I feel like I haven't eaten in days!"
Rommel bit his burger and looked at him. "Alright. Let's get this over with. I was told to inform you of the current situation in case you got brain damage."
He took another bite, talking as he chewed. "Wh-which, mmh, clearly you have. Nom. So what do you want to know?"
Rainer shrugged. "Don't really care much. A basic rundown will do."
Rommel smiled. "Good! Nom. Makes things easier."
He set the half-eaten burger down and drank some water. With an audible burp, he wiped his mouth and leaned forward on the table.
"We are the Good Bad Guys—quirky, I know. But don't let the name fool you. The organization is filled with messed-up people who'll skin you for stepping on their shoes. Trust me. I've been on the wrong end of a few."
Rainer glanced at his face while chewing. "Mmh. I can tell."
Rommel half-rolled his eyes, ignoring the snark.
"We got our HQ back at Veridian Falls. A real beauty of a city. But the Big Boss isn't satisfied, you know. He wants more territory. At least, that's what I thought. Until I heard the Big Boss actually grew up in this city. He may have grown homesick with age and decided he wanted to have this city for his own."
Rainer pushed aside an empty plate with a burp and glanced at him.
"So he sent us here, right?"
Rommel nodded. "Exactly. At first, we took the airport without much pushback. The gang there packed up and fled as soon as Capo Breaker put their boss six feet under. Then we went west and established a front close to the heart of the business district. At a nice cafe in a lovely area."
"Then our Capo wanted to have a celebration, you know. A big one! Show the city we're in town and demonstrate that we're not afraid to show it.
"Next thing I heard, the place got blown to hell! The whole team cooked like the meatballs on my plate." He sniffed, rubbing his nose as he glanced at him. "Well... The whole lot except you, of course. You know, you might be crazy, but so is your luck."
Rainer leaned back with a sigh, caressing his tummy. Then he loosened his belt a little.
"I noticed you were suspiciously absent at the cafe. Wanna explain that, bucko?"
Rommel nodded with a slight shrug.
"Yeah. I get why it might look suspicious."
He looked away thoughtfully, a sadness swirling beneath his tough exterior.
"The Capo never really liked me, you see. Said I was too wild with my violence. That I had to be classy when I dealt with troublemakers... and some other load of bull! Who cares anyway."
His fingers idly rolled a napkin into a ball.
"I mouthed off to him, and he decided to punish me by sending me off to the airport to receive Capo Slick and the others. That was an Associate's task, but it meant I'd miss the party."
His eyes grew distant as his mouth worked.
"That damned idiot may just have saved my life."
Then he shrugged. "Not like it's worth much anyway."
Rainer watched him for a moment, then smirked as he returned to his feast.
"Don't forget to leave flowers at his grave later, or he might rise up to haunt your sleep."
Rommel scoffed, smiling. "Bah! The jerk wouldn't bother with me. Besides, his ghost would appreciate a necklace of bullet casings more than flowers."
Rainer stuffed several meatballs in his mouth.
"So-sounds lhike quite a ghuy!" he remarked, words muffled.
"Mm," Rommel confirmed, leaning back.
*Brrrr!* *Brrrr!*
His phone buzzed, and he pulled out a Nokia 3310.
"Damn," Rainer muttered at the sight.
Rommel glanced at him with a light frown. "My smartphones tend to break a lot. This one serves me better."
Leaving that explanation behind, he answered the call.
"Ma'am?"
*Inaudible gibberish.*
"Yeah. We're together."
*More inaudible gibberish.*
Rommel's head tilted lightly as a thoughtful frown settled on his face.
"Got it. I can locate the address."
*Concluding inaudible gibberish.*
"Alright, ma'am. We'll be quick."
*Click!*
The call ended. Rainer waved a fork with a meatball at him. "Business?"
"Yeah." Rommel wiped his hands and stood up. "They need us now."
Hearing this, Rainer went on a rapid eating spree, drinking some smoothie and cutting some cake. He made sure to get a bit of everything he had ordered, munching away, cheeks puffed like a hamster's.
Rommel's eyes twitched.
"I hope you're paying for all this?"
Rainer stood and emptied his pockets, taking out a few pound notes and pennies. After a quick count, he looked at Rommel with a difficult expression.
Rommel frowned. "What is it?"
"This will only cover a fifth of the meal."
Rommel was appalled. "So what are you going to do then, not pay?!"
Rainer looked uncertain. "Are... we the sort of mafia to do that?"
Suddenly, a vein throbbed on Rommel's forehead, and he slammed his hands on the table, startling the other customers.
"Of course not, you dolt! I mean, look at us!" He flapped his suit. "We're well-dressed wolves! The GBGs have an image to maintain, and this sort of little thing goes against the organization's principles!"
Rainer seemed enlightened, and he nodded.
"Hmm. I see now!"
Shocked at Rainer's swift understanding, Rommel instantly calmed down, though perplexed.
"Y-you do?"
"Yeah." He nodded, then revealed a growing smile, as he spoke in a suggestive tone.
"Oh, I sure am lucky I have my last surviving teammate and loving partner here with me."
Rommel squinted with suspicion. "Why are you talking like that?"
"Pay what's left." Rainer deadpanned.
"No!"
"Oh, come on! You ate as well!" He nagged.
"I didn't eat barely enough to empty my wallet over this!"
Rainer let out a sigh and conceded. "Alright, fine. Pay, and I'll pay you back later."
Rommel squinted at him, eyes piercing.
"...Oh, you better." He warned, then sighed as he pulled out a wad of cash from his suit pocket.
Rainer placed his money down, snatched his fedora, and walked away. He drew to a sudden stop, however, glancing back with a smile.
"Oh! Also, leave a nice tip for that lovely waitress. She has good taste!"
Rommel, who had already tucked the fee under a plate, murmured his complaint as he took out another note and slammed it down.
"It's this way!" he yelled at Rainer before storming off in the opposite direction.
"Oh!" Rainer turned and jogged after him, chuckling to himself. "That was quite the come a cropper."
"Since when did you use British slang?" Rommel growled.
"I learn fast, you see. And you know what they say, 'When in Rome—'"
"That was the wrong use of the slang, idiot."
"Ah! But—"
"Yeah! Yeah! I get it. You're smart. Now walk faster, dammit!"
"Heh! Such a grumpy partner." Rainer chuckled to himself but increased his pace with a smile.
"Oh!" Rainer turned and jogged after him, chuckling to himself. "That was quite the come a cropper."
"Since when did you use British slang?" Rommel growled.
"I learn fast, you see. And you know what they say, 'When in Rome—'"
"That was the wrong use of the slang, idiot."
"Ah! But—"
"Yeah! Yeah! I get it. You're smart. Now walk faster, dammit!"
"Heh! Such a grumpy partner." Rainer chuckled to himself but increased his pace with a smile.