My fist still ached from punching the tree trunk. But that pain was the only thing keeping me tied to reality right now. I knew exactly what I wanted. I needed to spit out my hatred. Yes—no. This whole thing had nothing to do with Eula. I'm the pathetic one. I really had a chance with her this time, but somehow I still managed to screw it up. I hate myself. My anger is eating me alive. I didn't even realize I was walking straight toward a Hilichurl camp until it was too late.
Even from afar, I could see six regular Hilichurls, two archers, and one shaman. I kept walking toward them without hesitation. They hadn't noticed me yet—maybe I'm trying to end everything right now. I don't know. I don't care. I tried so hard to change something, to change myself. And the same things happened again. Fine then… I'll destroy everything I can. The Hilichurls noticed me once I got close enough. The archers began pulling their strings. I ran at them at full speed; I knew I was fast, and I used that. The wind slapping my face and the rush of blood in my veins felt like it was dragging me back to life.
Before the archers could hit me, I slammed my elbow into the side of a club-wielding Hilichurl's head with full force. It didn't faint—its neck snapped instantly. You could tell.
"Hahahaha!"
Laughing, I grabbed its corpse and charged straight toward the archers. Two arrows hit the body I was holding. Then I threw the corpse at one of the archers. The moment it hit him, he lost his balance and fell. I stomped on his neck and broke it. The sounds they made were already starting to please me.
"HaAhAhaHA!"
As I stared at the body, the shaman wrapped the air around me with Anemo energy, trying to pull me toward the center. It felt disgusting, like the gravity was trying to reclaim me. I forced my leg muscles and stepped out of the field. I had no powers, yet I felt like a god—one of flesh and blood, and real. Completely real. I was drowning in myself when another arrow hit my left shoulder. For some reason, I barely felt the pain. My teeth didn't even seem to fit in my mouth anymore. This feeling… hahaha…
I sprinted at the archer and kicked him in the neck with my right leg before he could react. He didn't even realize he died. I was gasping, but my mind was suppressing my exhaustion. The voices in my head had gone quiet for once. I had never felt this relieved.
The shaman was still preparing another spell. I grabbed the bow from a dead Hilichurl on the ground and threw it at him. The bow hit his staff and knocked it out of his hand. Before he could pick it up, I ran to him and grabbed his neck with my right hand, lifting him off the ground. He made sounds—struggling—but I couldn't hear anything. Maybe I couldn't hear the voices in my head because I had shut everything out.
Without waiting another second, I tightened my grip and snapped his neck, tossing the body aside. The pain in my shoulder was finally starting to make itself known. I didn't remove the arrow—not yet. I wasn't worried about bleeding out. Where I'd thrown the body, I saw a wooden chest. I walked up to it and smashed it open with a punch, like it was something I'd always done. Inside were an axe, and two strange orbs marked with Pyro symbols.
"…Loot is loot, isn't it?"
I took the axe and the unfamiliar orbs and left the Hilichurl camp behind. As I walked through the forest, my exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and wounded shoulder were starting to break me down. More importantly, I had cleared an entire Hilichurl camp with a cold head—and felt nothing. …That's how it should be. I've started hating everything.
In my own thougths-
"Shit."
Lost in my thoughts, I tripped on a branch and fell. One of the orbs slipped from my hand and shattered on the ground. The moment it cracked, it burst into flames and scorched the earth beneath it.
"What?"
What the hell was that? Things like this didn't exist in the original Genshin universe. It was clearly an elemental bomb. But something like this shouldn't exist at all.
As I stared at the fire, an idea came to mind. I sat down beside the flames and pulled the arrow out of my shoulder without hesitation. This pain… this time it was real.
"Aah… fuck."
I held the arrowhead in the fire. Because it was soaked in blood from being inside my shoulder, it took a while to heat up. I don't know how long—maybe two minutes. Blood kept pouring down my arm.
Once I decided it was hot enough, I pressed the metal tip directly onto my wound.
"FUUUCK!"
It hurts. It hurts, holy fuck it hurts!
But I didn't pull the arrowhead away. I held it there until I was certain the wound had been cauterized. Somehow, I was sure it wouldn't cause permanent damage. Shoulder injuries usually never heal properly. Filthy human body.
When the metal finally cooled, the wound had closed. I tossed the arrow aside and stood up.
Now… I have an axe and a Pyro bomb. What I need is a house and food. …Eul—…No.
I gripped the axe in my right hand and searched for an open area near water. It didn't take long to find one. And I could use my injured shoulder better than I expected. The pain was still there, of course.
I raised the axe and swung at the tree's lower trunk. The trees in this area were perfect for making logs.
"Haaa!"
I swung again. I didn't expect the Hilichurl axe to be this useful. After several blows, the tree fell. I was out of breath. I looked up to check the sky—still plenty of daylight left.
There was a lot of work to do. A lot.