Dio kept running like his life depended on it. It absolutely did. He yelled over his shoulder.
"Marriage these days aren't what it used be! Look at this damn lizard! Slept with the real parent of my adopted son. And now it's chasing me like I'm the wedding crasher!"
He glanced down at the unconscious hatchling.
"Tch. Dickhead, go away from me!"
He shouted back at the monster, voice cracking, legs burning, dignity long gone.
The T-rex like thing only got angrier.
Its eyes narrowed like it fully understood every insult he threw, and it let out a roar so loud Dio felt it in his teeth.
ROAR!!
The monster opened its jaws wide and blasted out a ray of green gas, thick, glowing, and coming straight for him.
"Shit!" Dio's breath caught in his throat.
He pushed his legs harder, dragging out every bit of speed he didn't know he had.
But the gas didn't fade.
It kept chasing him, rolling across the ground like a disease with a personal grudge.
It spread fast, hissing and crackling, reaching for his heels like it wanted to melt him down into tomorrow's lunch.
Dio didn't dare look back again.
His only thought was simple, loud, and painfully honest:
'If this thing touches me, I'm dead. And not the cool heroic kind of dead, the stupid kind.'
The gas crept closer, burning the floor wherever it touched, turning the stone dark and cracked.
Dio felt the heat on his back and ran even harder, clutching the hatchling like it was the last good thing in his cursed life.
ROAR!!
The monster roared again. Footsteps shook the ground behind him.
The gas whirled forward like it wanted first place in a race.
Dio forced out a shaky breath.
"This… is so unfair."
Dio swerved left, then right, then left again.
He zig-zagged so hard he looked less like a hero escaping death and more like a drunk rooster avoiding traffic.
But it worked.
If he ran in a straight line, that green gas would've swallowed him whole. Bones and all.
After enough turns to make himself dizzy, the gas finally thinned out and faded behind him.
But he wasn't unharmed.
He felt a sting on his back… then a breeze… then way too much breeze.
He risked a quick glance.
The entire backside of his clothes was gone.
Burned clean off.
Only his front side survived, because fate apparently wanted him to suffer in the dumbest way possible.
"Great… just great…" he muttered.
"Good thing these cheap clothes had some defense charms or else I'd have melted away."
He didn't even get the luxury to be embarrassed.
The T-rex thing was still stomping closer, and if it fired that fart-beam again, he was finished.
No clothes meant no protection.
No protection meant instant death.
And instant death meant… well, instant humiliation.
"Shit, I don't want to die naked," he cursed, voice cracking like a man fighting for his dignity rather than his life.
If he died here, news would spread fast.
People would laugh for years.
Dio the Bare-Assed.
Dio the Moon-Showing Hero.
Dio the Idiot Who Died Without Pants.
And that was before he even thought about the monster.
Who knew what that perverted, cheating lizard might try with his helpless, naked body?
The thing already looked like the type to make poor life decisions.
He shuddered hard.
"No. Nope. Not dying naked. Not getting touched by that thing. Not today."
Dio kept running. His feet slapped the stone floor. His lungs burned.
His biggest problem wasn't the monster.
It was the fact he had absolutely no idea where he was going anymore.
Somewhere between the dodging, screaming, and getting half-naked, he'd lost the path completely.
"Damn it… if I survive this, I'm gonna bully that thing to death. I swear," he muttered, half threat, half prayer.
He risked a look over his shoulder.
Bad idea.
The T-rex thing was closer now, too close, and its expression twisted into something new.
Drool slid out of its mouth in long, nasty strings.
Normally drool meant a monster wanted to eat you.
Simple. Clean. Horrifying, but understandable.
But to Dio?
The look on that lizard's face was something far worse.
"You… you perverted lizardy!" he yelled.
The creature roared again, louder, hungrier, and the drool didn't just drip, it poured.
Like a waterfall of pure nightmare fuel.
A cold shiver crawled up Dio's spine.
His brain did the worst thing possible: imagine his death headlines.
T-rex Cumer.
T-Rex's Slave.
Died Without Pants: A Tragic Story.
His soul almost left his body from shame alone.
"No… no, hell no," he panted, shaking his head as cold sweat dripped down his face.
"My thing won't even fit—"
He didn't finish.
A sudden pain stabbed through his skull like someone jabbed his brain with a burning needle.
He stumbled, grabbing his head with one hand, the hatchling clutched tight against his chest.
The world tilted.
A sharp, heavy pressure filled his mind, like something was trying to force its way in.
It was the same pain as before, the one he felt when the hatchling had hugged him into a dizzy mess earlier.
A sharp, burning pressure that didn't feel natural at all.
"Damn it!!" he hissed, vision blurring like someone smeared grease on his eyes.
His legs wobbled, but he refused to slow down.
Slowing down meant becoming monster dessert… or worse.
He spotted a wall up ahead.
Great. Perfect. A solid surface to commit temporary brain damage on.
Without thinking, because thinking hurt, he leaned his head back and slammed it forward.
BOOM.
The wall shook like it regretted its life choices.
Dust puffed out.
Pebbles rained down.
The sound echoed like a tiny explosion.
But Dio?
He stood there with nothing but a slightly red mark on his forehead.
No cracks. No bleeding. No skull shattering like a cheap clay pot.
A normal, non-awakened human would've been out cold or dead.
Dio just felt a mild sting, like someone flicked him a little too hard.
"Great," he muttered.
The good news, the headache faded.
The bad news, he had run himself straight into a dead end.
The path in front of him simply stopped. A solid wall.
No tunnel. No corner. No escape route.
Behind him, heavy footsteps thudded closer.
Dio stared at the wall.
The wall stared back.
His soul quietly screamed.
The monster growled deep in its throat, a harsh grrrrrrk that rattled the stone.
Saliva dripped from its jaws in long strings, splashing on the floor like someone turned on a disgusting faucet.
Dio slowly turned around.
Nothing covered him now, his clothes were completely gone thanks to the green gas.
He stood there, bare as the day he was born, staring at the towering beast like this was the world's worst dream.
He knelt and gently set the hatchling down against the wall, tucking it into the only shadow that looked remotely safe.
"Sorry, son…" he murmured, voice low.
"I can't give you a burial. But I'll join you soon because—"
He stopped mid-sentence.
He straightened up too fast.
And, well… certain parts of him reacted with unhelpful enthusiasm, swaying like a weather ornament in a storm.
The T-rex's eyes dropped instantly.
Its entire focus shifted.
Dio's soul nearly left his body.
But he forced himself to keep talking, even as his dignity dangled by a thread.
"I refuse… to be this thing's plaything," he said through clenched teeth.
"If I have to choose, I'll die with dignity. I won't be a slave to this bitchy lizardy."
He planted his hands firmly on his hips, bold stance, heroic posture, and stood tall as if he still had a cape.
And as the dungeon's dim light hit him, those last shreds of dignity somehow gleamed like they were trying their best to be part of the battle.
It wasn't noble.
It wasn't elegant.
But in Dio's mind… this was his final stand.