You ask me how deeply I love you...
How much do I love you
My love is unwavering
My love remains unchanged
The Moon represents my heart...
That song. That night.
If someone approaches me and asks—Is Minghao in love?—probably, he is in love. The way he sang the song, the way he poured everything; every particle of emotion within him... he seemed to be so intoxicated with love.
But... with who?
So far, I have never seen him with anyone, except for those girls who rejected me. That's only a brief moment. Nothing after that.
He's not busy with the phone—the best indicator to measure whether someone is in love. Every weekend, he will either participate in the college's activities or return home.
But, that song. That night.
Only a person who loves the song may understand the whole context of the song; the emotions, the poetry, the romance of it. I have always been a big fan of this song because Ma always played this song in the kitchen while filling buns. I'm the one and only helper, so I got addicted to it.
And Minghao chose this very song to sing.
After the party ended, we all parted ways and promised to meet next year. As I walked out of the venue, Xuan Lei offered a ride. But, I politely rejected. I had to go somewhere before coming home. That's a habit that I developed since I was a teenager. Whenever I went out late, I'd make sure I stopped by somewhere, just to chase away some bad omen that might be stuck on me.
As I stroll along the pedestal, I feel like someone is following me from behind. When I turned around, it was Minghao.
I was about to scold him, but that would not be logical. We live on the same street. So, nothing is wrong if he used the same road. But what made me upset was whenever I stopped, he'd do the same.
"Can you just walk past me? I feel awkward. Like you're stalking me!"
I felt threatened, actually!
"You can see your front clearly, but not your back." That's it? That's the reason why he—hold on!
"What's with the concern, anyway? As if I can't protect myself," I can sense that he was looking down at me. Just because I look flabby, doesn't mean that I'm incapable of fighting!
"I know you can. But, what's with the hassle anyway?"
Unconsciously, he already stood up in front of me. Hovering over me with his height.
"Tsk, stop showing off your height, please!"
Okay, roast me! Come on!
Eh? Why are you leaning towards me? What's with that sharp look? Why are you smiling? Ehey! Ehey!
"I just want to put us at the same level..."
"Fuck, no need to be so close!" I push Minghao away from me. This shameless peep! How dare you bully me like this!
Jeez, now you're smiling like a fool! I know you have nice teeth—by the way, the braces really do justice to your teeth...
Why do I care about his teeth anyway!
"Do you like the song?"
Eh?
"Song? What song?"
"The Moon Represents My Heart. Is it romantic enough for you?"
Now, my heart churns like crazy. Why? Why? What is wrong with me?
"What's that gotta do with me?"
"That's your favorite song, right?"
Jeez, how did he know?
"How.... how did you know?"
"Your Ma always plays it while working in the kitchen. Once, I heard you sing along to the song."
Fuck! There goes my repo!
"Are you snooping on us? Stalker!"
"Me? Stalking you? Nothing is interesting to you anyway. No reason to stalk..."
Yeah, you listened to my voice singing that song in the kitchen, that alone is good evidence!
"Besides, your voice... tsk..." Minghao shakes his head. "Breaking my ears—"
"I'm not asking you to listen anyway! If you're deaf to my voice, it serves you right!"
Minghao chuckles...? Is he crazy or what? Bipolar?
"Do you wanna sleep on the sidewalk, or go home? It's getting late."
Does he think I am a homeless person? How dare he!
"I wanna go home. But, stop following me from behind!"
"Kay, I walk side by side, how's it?"
Jeez, I don't know if this man is stupid or sneaky! Or, he just couldn't understand the concept of privacy!
We arrive in front of the shop, and to be honest, the silence along the way is a bit therapeutic. Something that I feel comfortable with. Having someone send you home is not too bad, actually.
Wait, did I just say that? I think, I'm going crazy!
"There you go. Go home now," less talk, less eye contact, less drama. If someone in this area sees us, definitely and surely, there will be a crime of arson today.
"Ah Chen..."
What again?
"Sweet dreams..."
"Yah, stop treating me like a child! If you don't go now, I might have a nightmare!"
And he is snickering as if nothing is wrong! Why are you behaving like a boyfriend code?
Wait, did I just say that? Really???
All I can hear now is a hard panting sound coming from me as I run upstairs in a hurry. My face goes bleak but red all over. Aish, why am I feeling like this? What's wrong with me?
Just now, after I scolded Minghao, he casually stepped closer and ruffled my hair. I was too stunned to speak, let alone react properly. I ran upstairs at once because I could feel the heat all over my chest and my face.
Am I just moved by that little act? Whoa, I feel like the role is switching between us! Okay, to be honest, I once did this to one of the girls that I tried to flirt with. But, me; Yi Chen, not for once, ever been treated so soft and tender like this!!
Argghhhhh!!!!
***
"Bro, what did you do back home, huh? You look like a sheet!" Tuo's hard slap on my back is definitely my new alarm, especially today. The sting wakes me up immediately.
"Are you the brother's groom or the groom?" Ten asks.
"Ah... the groom had a special treatment. He didn't even lift his finger all! I'm the one who overworks myself," yep, using Ah Wen as an excuse... so damn innocent!
The truth is, I couldn't sleep all night. This toasted brain of mine kept replaying what Minghao did to me. Ah, why am I too affected by that? I still can't find the answer; today is the second day since that incident, and still...
Nothing.
"Sounds like a jealous brother, eh?"
My eyes gaze sharply at Ten. "If it's about getting married, I will never get jealous over my brother. Who wants to get married when you're barely 20?"
"Wait. How old is your brother?" Ten frowns.
A question that makes me ponder.
"He's two years younger than me..."
"What? He's 19?"
Yep. He is that young.
"Wow... your brother is truly something!"
Yep. Truly extraordinary. If it wasn't for the girl's family who barged into the shop that day, we would have had no idea about the pregnancy! That boy got his classmate pregnant, and to save face, Pa forced him into marriage.
We were grateful enough that Ah Wen agreed with it.
"Luckily, Pa still allows him to attend classes. Since he is at the vocational school, nothing to be worry. He will get a job once he graduate," I reply to them earnestly. Good or bad, Yi Wen is still my brother. Although, his stupidity sometimes a pain in the ass.
"Your bro must be handsome. Or else, why would that girl chased him like crazy!"
"She's scared. To be pregnant at that age, out of wedlock with no support, every girls in that situation will react the same..." my eyes lurking at Ten and Tuo. "That's why I don't want to be reckless. 100 days policy of mine is the best way for me to think and nurture a relationship in a good way."
"That won't happen if you date a man..."
Ah, here we go again! This mfking Tuo...!
"It's even worst if it's a man..."
Jeez, this man can be a ghost! He appears anywhere, everywhere, in silent.
"Aiya, you're talking as if you have the experience, Minghao!" Tuo pats his shoulder when that man takes a seat next to him.
"I don't have it. But, we're men. And we know our nature the best. When men fall in love with men, they always fall harder and deeper. It's even more intense than falling for a girl."
Ehey, why are you looking at me like that, you pumpkin!
"It's unbelievable if you said you have no experience of falling for a man, Minghao! Your words relay what's inside your heart so well."
Minghao's turns dull upon hearing that from Ten. Is he having a bad relationship before? With a man? Maybe, that's the man that he thought when he sang the song that night!
"None of your business..." Minghao's aggression while replying to Ten proves my theory right. Either he had a bad relationship with a man before, or he is in love with a man. A silent one.
But, one crucial question—who is that unlucky man?