I wanted a little peace of mind.
Just a few minutes where my brain stopped replaying voices and stares and laughter.
So the moment the cab started moving,
I closed my eyes and put my earphones in. Music filled my ears, soft and distant, like it was coming from underwater.
I didn't even realize when the heaviness behind my eyes won.
When I opened them again, the cab driver was gently shaking my shoulder.
"Ma'am… reached."
"Oh… sorry,"
I mumbled, blinking as reality slowly knit itself back together.
My mind was still foggy, still stuck between sleep and shock.
I paid quickly and stepped out.
The evening air felt heavy against my skin.
I walked inside.
The faint smell of spices drifted from the kitchen
Mom was cooking.
I didn't want to talk.
Not now. Not like this.
I could already imagine the look in her eyes if she saw mine
swollen, red, swollen again.
She would know instantly.
So I tried to escape upstairs, quiet as possible.
"Already came?" she called softly.
"Yes, Mumma," I answered, keeping my voice steadier than I felt.
She didn't ask anything more.
But I could almost feel her concern reach the stairs.
I slipped into my room, closed the door, locked it, and the second I lay down on my bed
the memories came rushing in.
Not gently.
Not slowly.
But like someone ripped open a wound and poured everything back inside.
And with them came the ache.
My eyes were burning, and my cheeks felt tight from crying. Ever since I came back from school, I hadn't stopped.
I even lied to mumma
told her I already ate with my friends so she wouldn't knock on my door.
I didn't want her to see me like this, curled up like something fragile that might break with one touch.
I still couldn't understand…
How could Li Xue
my best friend
say that in front of everyone?
How could he look at me like that, like I'm some girl pretending to be innocent just to get attention?
And worse… how could he lie that I started the rumour that we were dating?
I never bothered clearing that rumour because… because we knew the truth. Because we grew up together. Because he always said childhood friends don't need explanations for the world
we just understand each other.
He didn't clear it either.
I thought it was just something natural, something harmless, because everyone already knew we were close.
I didn't think it mattered.
But everything changed the moment she came
Xiao Yin.
The new girl with a bright smile, a sweet voice, and a way of making people turn toward her like she was the sun and we were nothing but cold planets.
And suddenly, Li Xue wasn't the Li Xue I knew.
He wasn't the boy who held my hand when I broke my arm in fifth grade, or the one who sat on my rooftop and whispered stories until I stopped crying after Dad left.
Now he was someone who could look me in the eyes and act like I'm… a problem.
An embarrassment.
A rumor he needed to erase.
And the worst part?
I didn't even fight back.
I just stood there, listening to him speak like a stranger, while something inside me tore quietly
quietly, because that's how childhood friends are supposed to break, right?
No screaming.
No drama.
Just… silence.
I curled tighter on my bed, biting my lips to stop the sound in my throat.
But silence didn't save me this time.
It only made everything louder.
I don't know when the crying finally stopped.
Maybe my body got tired of shaking.
Maybe my heart just shut down for a while.
All I knew was that at some point, the pain blurred enough for my eyes to close.
Not peacefully..just out of exhaustion.
Curled in the same position, face pressed into my pillow, I drifted into a restless, swollen-eyed sleep.
I don't know how long I slept like that.
Minutes?
Hours?
But suddenly
Vrrrrrr… vrrrrrrr…!!
The sharp vibration on my bedside table ripped me awake.
My heart jumped.
My breathing stuttered.
For a second I didn't even understand where I was.
Then I saw it.
My phone.
Screen lighting up again and again.
Notifications exploding.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and reached for it
my fingers trembling slightly.
I hadn't checked anything since school.
Didn't want to.
Didn't dare to.
But now…
The moment I unlocked it
BOOM...!!!
100+ tags.
Dozens of group chat notifications.
Screenshots.
Clips.
Comments.
All about me.
About today.
My breath caught in my throat.
The first clip autoplayed instantly.
Li Xue's voice echoed through the screen, loud and cruel:
Li Xue: "Damn it, Qin Yue
just stop acting innocent! Everyone knows Xiao Yin needs that scholarship more than YOU!"
My stomach twisted.
Then another clip—
Students laughing.
Someone whispering, "Boyfriend-girlfriend fight."
And then
Li Xue: "Shut up! She's not my girlfriend. She used that stupid rumor to stay in the spotlight!"
My chest clenched so hard it hurt.
Comments flooded underneath:
Yours_xyz
"Wow, white lotus finally exposed 😭🙏."
User_dead
"Acting innocent for years, caught today."
Nova_45
"Poor Li Xue, imagine a girl spreading a fake dating rumor."
Euno_ss49
"I knew she wasn't that pure."
My vision blurred again.
Another notification popped up
Another clip.
This time… Lin Yi.
Breaking the chair.
Stepping inside like a storm.
His voice low and dangerous:
Lin yi:"Next time, it'll be whoever hurts my girlfriend."
I froze.
The comments under this one were worse:
Yunova_23
"GIRLFRIEND??? She moved on in one second?"
Naro_56
"Lmao she's the problem, always playing victim."
Dopaminex_e
"First Li Xue, now the school delinquent? Desperate much."
Pretty_id
"Maybe she is innocent and he's protecting her 🥺."
Not_baddie
"Bro she fell ON PURPOSE to get attention."
My heart slammed against my ribs.
I scrolled again
More videos.
More angles.
More strangers dissecting my humiliation like entertainment.
A live chat popped up from our school gossip group:
#QinyueScandal
User1: "Qin Yue really slapped him???"
User2: "She TRIED but Xiao Yin saved Li Xue, queen behavior."
User3: "Honestly I feel bad… she looked like she was crying."
User4: "Feel bad?? She probably faked that too."
User5: "No, she really fell hard… did nobody check?"
User6: "Relax, Lin Yi picked her up like some princess. She's fine."
My hands tightened on the phone.
My chest felt too small.
Too tight.
Too full.
Then another buzzing at the top
A DM from someone I barely talked to:
"Qin Yue… are you okay? Just stay offline. People are going crazy."
Another message came immediately after:
"I don't believe what Li Xue said. I don't think you're that kind of girl."
I swallowed hard.
But then
Another DM from someone else:
"Just stop pretending. Everyone saw everything."
Another:
"First you hook Li Xue, now you cling to Lin Yi? Pathetic."
The words kept coming, piling, suffocating.
My breath hitched.
My fingers trembled.
I pressed the phone to my chest tightly, as if holding it close would stop the words from cutting deeper.
But they were already inside.
I curled up again
knees to my chest, blanket pulled over my head ,feeling smaller and smaller with every notification that buzzed.
Today wasn't over.
Not even close.
And for the first time since the whole disaster started, one thought whispered through my mind
If this is how it feels to lose a best friend,
why does it hurt even worse to be defended by someone I barely know?