All these people, across all these eras, had one thing in common: drink this, eat that, chant a little, and live forever. Or perform certain spiritual rituals, and level up beyond your fellow humans.
Buddhist monks, Tuvan shamans, Egyptian priests, Helena Blavatsky, Silicon Valley billionaires doing full-body detoxes — they're all dancing to the same beat.
Even if they're dancing to different instruments.
They all believed that somewhere — through magic or folk medicine — there was a key to that hidden door. Behind it: eternal youth, infinite life. DMT trip fans take it a step further — they say the drug kicks the door off its hinges, revealing beings and realms waiting beyond death. And since DMT causes near-death experiences, researchers like Rick Strassman think maybe this theory deserves a second glance.
So to Religion, Magic, and Folk Remedies, we've added Drugs.
Because humans will cling to anything that gives even the tiniest sliver of hope.
Hope that you won't die foaming at the mouth, choking on your own breath. Hope that your aching knees, stiff joints, and throbbing spine will feel strong again.
And you know what? That's totally fair. Who wouldn't want to believe that one day, the sauna trip with your buddies will turn into a miraculous Fountain of Youth — the same one Juan Ponce de León searched for in Costa Rica? That you'll dip in and come out who you were decades ago.
So — did any of it work?
Let's put it this way: maybe there are immortals among us, quietly living through the ages. But since they're keeping their mouths shut, let's assume the answer's no. We're back to that pesky little issue: no proof.
And since no direct or even indirect evidence exists, we're left with one fairly obvious — and yes, a little depressing — conclusion:
Religion and Magic have failed us. At least in the specific department we're discussing.
They've had millennia to deliver. They gave us promises. But they never gave us facts.
That said — I'm not here to press your brain's panic button labeled "Critical Thinking," and I'm not trying to flip off your "Magical Thinking" switch either. You can believe whatever you want (as long as you're not hurting anyone — obviously). I'm not asking you to join my imaginary army or cry out, "Awaken the minds! Remove the blinders!"
Let's leave that to the motivational speakers and political pundits. I'd much rather sit with you and keep brainstorming ways you might get to see your great-great-great-grandkid's first steps — while I sip a cup of tea (not brewed by Count Saint Germain) somewhere on Titan.
And for that, there's only one method left to us.
Not a lot, huh? But hey — at least this one actually works.