After Xu Gui stood up, she grabbed her fortune-telling banner and ran towards the old man opposite her.
"Old man, can I borrow your brush and ink?"
She slammed her fortune-telling banner on the old man's table, took the brush he had placed on the table, dipped it in ink, and started writing on the fortune-telling banner.
The old man curiously leaned over to see what she was writing, his body leaning towards her. The cameraman also pointed the lens towards her, only to be given a disdainful glance by the old man.
Under the watchful eyes of what appeared to be two pairs of eyes, but actually tens of thousands of people in the live broadcast room, Xu Gui wrote two large characters on the fortune-telling banner with a flourish.
"Science." The old man pronounced the characters she wrote word by word, then praised her admiringly, "I didn't know you had such good handwriting... But why did you write these two characters?"
Xu Gui stood the fortune-telling banner upright.
Originally, the two characters "fortune-telling" were written vertically on her fortune-telling banner, but now she had added the two characters "science" horizontally, so now, if you looked at the fortune-telling banner, it was "science" horizontally and "fortune-telling" vertically.
Xu Gui looked smugly at the cameraman and said, "You said I was practicing fortune-telling and superstition, right? Well, look now! This is science!"
The cameraman fell silent.
Xu Gui continued, "Now you can't say I'm promoting superstition and that it doesn't fit the program's purpose, right? Hmph, with two 'sciences' in my name, who dares say I'm not scientific enough?"
Meanwhile, backstage at the program,...
"She's clearly exploiting a loophole!" the show's director exclaimed angrily. He demanded, "Does she think that just because she wrote the word 'science' on it, her fortune-telling will become truly scientific?"
The others tried to comfort her, saying, "Director, don't be angry, don't be angry..."
Someone else said, "Why don't we just let it go? I think Xu Gui has shown some sincerity. Don't push her too far. What if she really refuses to continue filming?"
The director was even angrier: "She wouldn't dare!"
As soon as he finished speaking, Xu Gui said threateningly, "If this doesn't work, I'll find a broken bowl and beg for food right now! Humph, begging has been a profession since ancient times. Don't tell me that this profession is unacceptable."
Through the camera, it was as if Xu Gui was talking to the director from afar. The entire production crew fell silent.
"...Actually, I think fortune telling is pretty good. Didn't someone say that fortune telling is basically psychology, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, look how popular horoscopes are among young people these days? There are tons of people giving horoscope readings and tarot card readings. Xu Gui is at least promoting a national treasure!" "That
makes sense. Fortune telling is a unique cultural product of our country. It's good to promote it. Besides, Xu Gui even wrote about science, which is very scientific!"
Director: "..." I've been listening to your nonsense.
However...
"What you said makes some sense," the director said "reluctantly." "So, let her continue like this, scientifically?"
Speaking of science, the director's lips twitched, but he couldn't really let Xu Gui beg for food; this person seemed capable of doing it.
The director had a headache.
...
"...The director told me to tell you, 'I'm scared of her. Let her do whatever she wants,' um, that's what he said."
The cameraman relayed the director's words to Xu Gui.
Hearing "her, her," Xu Gui understood the meaning in two seconds, immediately raised her head, satisfied.
"I already told you, fortune telling is my specialty!" she muttered, thanking the old man and heading back with her fortune-telling banner.
"Wait!" the old man suddenly called out to her. "I just remembered I haven't asked you your name yet!"
Xu Gui was taken aback. "Didn't I say?"
The old man nodded firmly. "No."
"…Maybe I forgot," Xu Gui said, then introduced herself to the old man: "My name is Xu Gui, and as you can see, I'm a fortune teller!"
The old man finally knew her name, then muttered to himself: Do I know anyone with the surname Xu? Could she be the granddaughter of the Xu family?
The old man looked up and introduced himself: "My surname is Lu, you can just call me Grandpa Lu."
"I understand," Xu Gui said, carrying her fortune-telling banner as she prepared to go back, thanking the old man as she did so: "Old man, thank you for your pen and ink."
The old man: "...I already told you to call me Grandpa Lu."
*
Xu Gui returned to her stall, then carefully placed her signboard—the fortune-telling banner—to the side, and began to wait for customers... no, wait for them to come.
However, in their line of work, customers are mostly a matter of fate, so after sitting for a long time without any customers, she simply lay on the table playing on her phone.
A newly adult, having only recently started using a phone, she was already showing signs of becoming a screen addict. She found phones incredibly fun; she could play all night long. Unfortunately, she was human now; if she were still a tortoise, she could play for ten days and ten nights without rest.
Xu Gui sighed regretfully.
Next, everyone watched as she sat playing on her phone, then shifted to her left, then to her right…
The chat was filled with comments like: [Look at how she changed positions five or six times in just one hour! It's like seeing myself playing on my phone!]
It was so relatable.
She played on her phone for almost the entire morning, and because the content was boring, many viewers left the livestream. After all, who wants to watch someone play on their phone?
However, before lunch, Xu Gui finally had a customer.
"Master, I think my whole family is possessed!" the person said as soon as they sat down, their tone heavy.
Xu Gui looked up at them, and when her gaze fell on their pale face, her expression turned serious, and then…
"…Scan the QR code to pay first." She handed them the payment code to avoid them skipping out on the order.
The customer obediently took out their phone and asked, "How much?"
Xu Gui held up five fingers.
"Five thousand?" The customer gasped. "Why is it so expensive?"
Xu Gui's eyes widened, and she looked at her fingers: Huh, are my fingers really that valuable? "A single finger is worth a thousand?
She clearly said five hundred.
" She looked at the customer in front of her, "Sir, you have excellent taste!" She recognized the turtle's considerable value at a glance.
Customer: ??? Although she didn't understand, she took it as a compliment.
The customer obediently scanned the code to pay, and Xu Gui heard the sound of five thousand yuan entering her account. She felt more extravagant than ever before. She was truly too wealthy now, practically the richest turtle in the world.
"May I ask your name?"
"My surname is Li..."
"Okay, Mr. Li, what would you like to have divined?" Xu Gui asked patiently, "Would you like me to divine your safety? I see your face is green..."
"No!" Mr. Li interrupted her, saying clearly, "I would like you to exorcise some evil spirits for me!"
Xu Gui blinked, speaking earnestly, "...Mr. Li, this is feudal superstition, it's unacceptable! You'll be easily fooled!"
"..." A question mark slowly appeared on Mr. Li's forehead. He looked at Xu Gui and asked slowly, "If I weren't superstitious, why would I come to you?"
Xu Gui probed, "...So you have good judgment?"
Mr. Li: "..."
Mr. Li laughed, though it was unclear whether he was annoyed or amused by Xu Gui.
"Master, don't joke with me," he said, each word deliberate, sounding somewhat resentful, "I genuinely came to you to exorcise the evil spirit!"
"Alright..." Xu Gui relented, deciding to hear the story, and said, "Then, Mr. Li, why do you think you're possessed?"
Mr. Li's expression became serious. He slowly said, "It all started a week ago..."
A week ago, Mr. Li's family was a happy and harmonious family, but in that week, problems arose within them.
"First, my mom started having nightmares, diarrhea, and vomiting, then my dad..."
Finally, Mr. Li and his wife also started experiencing problems, both having nightmares and then vomiting and having diarrhea.
At first, they suspected they might be sick, but what kind of illness could cause a family to fall ill one after another, almost simultaneously?
"My wife went to the hospital for a checkup, and the doctor said it was probably food poisoning and prescribed her medication. When she got home, we threw everything out of the refrigerator and bought new things; we didn't even dare eat snacks..." "
I can guarantee that this time, everything we ate was absolutely fresh and clean, but no one in our family has improved. We still have nightmares, vomit, and have diarrhea day and night!"
Mr. Li became more and more agitated as he spoke. "Tell me, what else could this be but being possessed by evil spirits?"
Xu Gui looked at Mr. Li's greenish complexion and finally understood why he looked so bad. With nightmares, vomiting, and diarrhea, it was no wonder his complexion was so poor.
Mr. Li insisted, "Our family is definitely possessed!"
Xu Gui couldn't help but ask, "...So, is it possible that your family has been poisoned?"
"Poisoned?" Mr. Li hesitated for a moment, then shook his head firmly, "That's impossible. Our family hasn't eaten out for a week. We've been cooking for each other in turns. How could there be poison? As for food poisoning, that's even more impossible. We've replaced everything in our refrigerator. The food is absolutely fresh. There's no way we could have food poisoning."
Xu Gui: "Uh, what if the poison was put in your rice container?"
Mr. Li's eyes widened slowly—he had never considered this possibility.
"Then, who poisoned us? Why would they want to harm our family? Do we have some deep-seated hatred for them? Is it worth it for them to do this to us?" Mr. Li was very agitated.
Xu Gui: "..."
Xu Gui paused for a few seconds and said, "Is there any possibility that this person is your mother?"
Amidst Mr. Li's mind full of questions, Xu Gui slowly said, "...Your mother sprinkled pesticide in the rice jar. Your family eats rice with pesticide every day. How could your family not vomit and have diarrhea?"
Mr. Li chuckled and then said, "...Master, are you joking?"
Xu Gui replied, "No, this is the whole truth about your family being possessed!"
After saying that, she kindly reminded him, "Mr. Li, if you don't believe me, you can call and ask your mother if this is true."
"..." After a half-minute silence, Mr. Li took out his phone and silently dialed a number.
"...Hello, Anzi." A weak voice came from Mr. Li's elderly mother on the phone. The old mother asked, "Have you found a master to come to our house to exorcise the evil spirits?"
The old mother said with certainty, "Our family is definitely possessed. Only a master can exorcise the evil spirits for us now!"
This tone was just as confident as when Mr. Li had told Xu Gui earlier that his family was possessed.
Mr. Li glanced at Xu Gui, then turned to his mother and whispered,
"...Mom, did you sprinkle pesticide in the rice jar earlier?" he asked.
"..."
His mother on the other end of the phone suddenly fell silent.
Sensing the silence, Mr. Li: ?
Then, suddenly realizing something: ? ? !!! !!!
Watching this scene, Xu Gui couldn't help but sigh, "An adult's breakdown really only takes a moment!"