Honestly speaking, every time Xun Yu entered the kitchen, he always produced something bizarre.
For example, last time there was "yogurt fried rice with egg."
And the time before that, "bitter melon juice."
Still, at least everything was edible—and it all got eaten.
Nothing was wasted.
Otherwise, Pom-Pom would've gotten angry.
Let's just hope this time isn't too strange.
"Hey hey hey~ the chicken soup is here~!"
Xun Yu placed the chicken soup in the center of the table and sat down.
Thanks to his… uniquely eccentric parents, Xun Yu had matured and become independent earlier than most kids his age.
As for how eccentric his parents were—
In their own words:
"Children and grandchildren have their own blessings. Once they exist, we get to enjoy life."
"The weak don't deserve to live."
Even compared to the infamous internet oddballs he saw after transmigrating, they were on another level.
Back then, little Xun Yu would stand on a small stool, skillfully making breakfast with a resigned expression.
Lunch and dinner weren't his responsibility.
Mainly because his parents couldn't wake up in the morning—
and he still had to go to school.
Still… maybe it was thanks to those strange parents that later on, when he was on his own, he managed just fine.
His thoughts returned to the present.
Seeing that no one had picked up their chopsticks, Xun Yu was confused.
"Huh? Eat! Why isn't anyone eating?"
"Uh… Stelle, you go first…"
March eyed the dinner, which looked perfectly normal, and poked Stelle.
The more normal it looked, the more dangerous it probably was!
"I'm not doing it! Let Dan Heng go first!"
Dan Heng: "..."
He said nothing, calmly picked up a meat bun, and started eating on his own.
"Where's the most basic trust between people?"
"I see… the bond has faded… mmm—"
Spell interrupted.
"Hahaha."
Watching Xun Yu's expressions constantly shift, everyone at the table burst out laughing.
"Fine. I'll trust you this once."
March said as she picked up a delicate little tea pastry and popped it into her mouth.
Seeing this, Xun Yu put down his bun, brushed his hair back, and tilted his gaze upward.
Finally took the bait!
"Spicy! It's so spicy! Aaaah! I knew it!"
March let out another piercing scream.
Moments later, clutching a cup of yogurt, March glared viciously at Xun Yu.
"I'm so stupid. Truly."
"What kind of psycho puts devil pepper filling inside a tea pastry?!"
"Uh, actually it's not just devil pepper," Xun Yu said proudly, chin raised.
"There's also wasabi filling, douzhi filling, fish sauce filling—guaranteed no repeats!"
"6."
Everyone stared at the dozen remaining tea pastries on the plate and said in unison.
"Sigh… looks like I'll have to clean up the mess again."
"You really don't want to try your luck?"
Everyone shook their heads in perfect synchronization.
"Alright then…"
Xun Yu sighed regretfully.
Then—
He picked up the plate, stretched his mouth wide, dumped everything in at once—
Disabled his sense of taste, cranked digestion to maximum.
I mean, it's not like he actually had a fetish for weird food.
"Burp~"
Everyone: 6
"Hey hey hey! I'm back again!"
At court of tranquility, Xun Yu and Stelle stood with sunglasses on, hands on hips.
Behind them, March covered her face, wearing the unmistakable expression of
I don't know these two.
Court of tranquility was even bigger than expected.
The four of them had spent all of yesterday shopping and still only covered a small portion.
Dan Heng wasn't with them today—
he'd gone back to organizing the databanks… again.
"Come and see! Come and watch!"
"If you don't see today's acrobatics, you'll regret it for a thousand years!"
"Fire breathing, sword swallowing, fish-dragon dances, lion dances, bowl balancing, human pyramids!"
"Fireballs swallowed, burning coals stepped on, aerial stunts praised by all—
Guests from all directions gather round and say in unison—"
"Watching Guinaifen's acrobatics is worth more than a thousand gold!"
The shouting attracted a crowd.
"Hey, Xun Yu, look! It's lively over there."
March craned her neck toward the gathering people.
"I know this one," Stelle raised her hand proudly.
"She's an acrobat streamer named Guinaifen."
"An acrobat streamer? But how do you know that?"
"Well… after Xun Yu did livestream selling, I kinda followed some streams…"
Stelle lowered her head slightly, looking guilty.
In truth, it was because she'd been drawn in by all the pretty big sisters…
"…Alright. Acrobatics—want to go check it out?"
"Let's go~"
Since the crowd wasn't too thick yet, the three quickly squeezed to the front.
At that moment, Guinaifen was preparing to perform handstand noodle-eating.
Nearby, her assistant had already started the livestream.
At the mention of handstand noodle-eating, both the live audience and chat exploded.
Why?
Because Guinaifen was wearing a skirt!
Unfortunately, something called safety shorts exists.
Gentlemen everywhere were instantly disappointed.
Leaving aside all the lewd expectations, Guinaifen genuinely had skills.
Handstand noodle-eating, brushing teeth while whistling, chest-breaking stone slabs, throat-locking spears, sword swallowing, barehanded bullet catching—
All performed with ease.
When the crowd grew large enough, Guinaifen announced she wanted to invite a volunteer from the audience.
And at a glance, she spotted the vaguely familiar-looking Xun Yu.
Xun Yu, still trying to recall who she was, pointed at himself in confusion.
"Huh? Me?"
"Yep, family—you."
"Don't worry, chest-breaking stone is my specialty. I guarantee no harm to our family member!"
Guinaifen patted her chest confidently.
"Heh, sure—but I've got an even better idea," Xun Yu said.
"How about we perform 'stone breaks chest' instead?"
"…Huh?"
Guinaifen froze.
Seizing the moment, Stelle and March rushed forward.
March smoothly stuffed a pastry she'd just bought into Xun Yu's mouth, and together with Stelle, dragged him away.
"Sorry! Sorry! He has brain issues! We're taking him to the Alchemy Commission to get his head checked! We'll watch your show next time!"
March apologized profusely while she and Stelle transitioned from dragging to outright carrying Xun Yu away.
"Hey—family—"