Chapter 39
A faint flicker of displeasure crossed Severus's eyes. Forcing a smile, he turned to the red-haired girl standing among her friends.
"Morning, Lily. Good to see you."
"Really? Sounds like it is the other way around," the witch beside Evans said, glaring at him.
"Do you think that is what I wanted?"
"I wanted. to congratulate you on becoming a Master, that is all," Lily said, biting her lip and offering a strained smile. Then, grabbing her startled friends, she hurried past him.
Watching her leave, he only shrugged and finally entered the Great Hall. But as soon as he sat down and was about to start breakfast, he felt someone's eyes on him. He glanced toward the source of that unpleasant feeling and his eyelid twitched. It was Lily. The moment their gazes met, she immediately dropped her eyes to her plate, not even understanding why she had flinched like that.
She is starting to irritate me. He shook his head, trying to get back to his food, but he felt her stare again. You have got to be kidding me. As if sensing his annoyance, she stopped looking at him. I could use Legilimency, of course, but I am not going to rummage around in a teenager's mind, and a girl's at that. He pushed the thought away and focused on breakfast.
The only real joy he had in school life was the calm. He did not have to fear for his life, and he could devote himself entirely to research. The hunt for treasures brought him nothing but pleasure.
But today was an exception. The moment he entered the library and sat down to continue studying the founders' legacy, Lily also came in. Or rather, she followed him and sat at the table behind him.
She is definitely trying to get under my skin. He thought irritably, but he still tried to calm down. All right, do not be paranoid. Maybe she just came to read or do her homework.
But ten minutes later it became obvious. She really decided to piss him off!
Two minutes after that, she started staring at him again, peeking over the top of her textbook again and again. After the ritual his senses had sharpened, and that kind of curiosity felt like a fly buzzing in front of his nose.
Finally, fed up, he got up, checked his watch, returned the books, and left the library.
Seeing him move, Lily did not linger either. She followed quickly, but the moment she stepped out into the corridor, she was pressed back against the wall.
"What do you want?" Severus asked, irritation bleeding into his voice. Only then did she come to her senses. Noticing their position and how close his face was, she seemed to get embarrassed for the first time in her life at being alone with him. Until now, she had always thought of him as nothing more than a friend.
"I. I. If they see us, they will get the wrong idea. Move away."
"Hmm. you are right," he said, not shifting even an inch. "I am listening. Why are you following me? If you want to talk, then talk. Because of you, I cannot concentrate on my studies."
"I am not stalking you. I needed to study."
"And that is why you kept peeking over your book and staring at me. During breakfast too."
"H-how?!"
"It is magic, Lily. Now speak, or has that stupid idea returned, the one where I am not me?"
She drew a deep breath and shook her head with a sad little smile.
"Your habits, your love of potions, and your oath to magic are proof enough that no one replaced you. but you have changed too much. It is like a different person is standing in front of me, and I do not know how to act around you anymore. Tell me, are we still friends?"
"You were the one who cut off all contact between us that day, so what are you even asking? Of course we are not friends anymore. We are old acquaintances, that is all," Severus said, faint irritation in his tone as he ignored the hurt on her face. "So leave me alone already." He turned his back on her and walked back into the library.
Just acquaintances. Evans whispered dully, resting the back of her head against the wall and closing her eyes. She had expected that answer, but she still was not ready for it.
Lily had spent a long time thinking about that conversation in his house. No matter how badly she wanted to deny it, he was right. Maybe, in some ways, she really had been selfish. After all, she had never been a Slytherin and did not know how things worked there, so she simply did not understand that her nagging and attempts to open his eyes only made everything worse.
Evans truly had considered him her best friend, but the stereotypical mindset drilled into her House, that Dark magic was evil and anyone who studied it was a villain, destroyed their long friendship. Nothing stopped her from supporting his passion, believing in him, and quietly steering him toward good deeds. But no, she was afraid. Lily was afraid of being labeled an accomplice to a Dark wizard. She did not want to be seen as a black sheep in her House, so she chose that stupid excuse to end their friendship, so they would no longer have anything in common.
That conversation opened her eyes to many things, and she understood very well that she could never get that friendship back.
What a fool I was. Remembering the smiling face of the dark-haired young man who always helped and supported her, who had opened the magical world to her, a simple Muggle-born girl, she could not hold back. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Severus himself, frankly, did not care much about Lily's self-blame. The fact that she had ruined their friendship was only for the best. Over nearly seven years she had learned the original Severus too well. If they spent time together, she would have figured him out quickly, and he would have had no excuse for such a drastic change in behavior and personality.
It also saved him from having her constantly around. You could even say he was grateful for Lily's decision, and that was why he listened to her instead of sending her away immediately.
At last, he was able to spend the rest of the day as planned, right up until evening, in the library. During that time he gathered many more rumors and legends about the castle. Most of them were probably fiction, but even in fiction there was always a grain of truth.
Finally, closing the notebook with his research notes, he stood up from the table, stretched, and after returning all the books to their places, under Madam Pince's approving nod, he left the library and headed for the dungeons, where Professor Slughorn was already waiting.
The entire next week passed in the usual rhythm. Monday through Friday, he had classes. Saturday and Sunday, he went to Diagon Alley to inspect the work completed and hand over bags of potions to Karner. He brewed about ten percent himself, while the rest were confiscated from those same gangs. It would last him almost five months. He was not planning to sell everything at once, only small batches to test the market. After all, the less of this exclusive merchandise there was, the more he could inflate the price and thereby make a greater profit.
As for lessons, he managed to free up almost another whole day for himself. It was Thursday. He made an agreement with the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor: for a symbolic ten Galleons a week, the man would turn a blind eye to his absence.
It was even easier with the Ministry teacher, who was not particularly eager to teach children at all. So after class, he simply demonstrated that he could Apparate and explained what was and was not strictly allowed, citing his desire to continue studying Potions. In the end, the teacher allowed him to skip.
There were no problems with Divination either, since the elderly charlatan was still in St. Mungo's, and the lesson was canceled because there was no one to replace her.
But he did not reject the idea of Runes. He was very interested in the subject. There were not many books on it, and he could not find and read all of them. Listening to a master in that field was far more useful than chewing through dozens of texts alone.
He and Lily had not spoken since that day, and there was nothing to talk about. He had put a final stop to it. He still caught her glances sometimes, but they were rare, and never more than a second, which pleased him. He had gotten rid of another problem. Of course, he could have acted more radically, but he did not want to harm the woman the original Severus loved. It would have been disrespectful to the person who had given him a second life.
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