I stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity; I counted the cracks, listened to a muffled argument from downstairs, doors slamming and something that sounded like crying. I put the last part out of my head. I'd never seen either of my parents cry; it must have been my ears playing tricks on me.
Eventually, I heard stumbling in the hallway. It was Father, definitely drunk. The only other time I saw him like this was the day of Sara's testing. That night was the same: sharp words, yelling, and the sound of him stumbling while Mother looked after him.
During that year, I remained mostly confined to my room; my mother and father were adamant that I should not face the pressures of testing at such a young age. So I got to hear it all second hand. Compared to that year? I got off easy...
After a couple of minutes, I heard my parents' bedroom shut, and I waited a couple more for good measure until I could hear my father snoring. He always did quite heavily when he drank; it was going to be the perfect cover for my exfil. Soon enough, those snores began to echo through the hallways.
I checked the time, 2150. Shit... I was going to be late.
I opened my door slowly. The hinges stayed quiet. After so many failed attempts at sneaking out, I knew the exact angle to keep them silent. I looked into the hallway. It was dark and empty. Perfect.
I closed my door behind me, careful not to make a sound. I rolled my feet as I walked, letting the outside touch first, then the inside. It spread out my weight and kept me quiet.
Moving quietly, I reached the window. I pushed it open wider and climbed onto the sill, turning so my back faced the garden.
Once in position, I shuffled back slowly, careful not to make any noise. One foot lowered directly outside until it sat on the trellis that scaled the back of our house. Slowly, I put more weight onto it as it groaned slightly. Once I was confident it would hold my weight, I lowered my other foot parallel and slowly began to climb down. Eventually, my foot reached the soft ground below.
Despite my silent exit, I still needed to cross the garden undetected. Keeping my centre of gravity low, I hugged walls and used cover to avoid windows and cameras, navigating the familiar hiding spots I had memorised over months of practice. Eventually, I slipped around the perimeter and made it safely beyond the house's bounds.
I nodded to myself. A perfect extract.
-
The city hummed with Testing Even energy, bars were full, restaurants were busy, and I could see families spending time with their kids in the upper district housing. Other kids my age would likely be doing exactly this soon, stealing final moments before tomorrow tore their worlds apart.
I took the long way to the nest, avoiding the main streets and cutting through the industrial district. There were still public workers who manned the streets, preparing for the onslaught that tomorrow promised. As I passed through, I noticed the worker I had seen earlier that day at the shrine of aspiration. Our eyes met, and I saw something within them, recognition, pity.
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah..."
He nodded slowly. "Good luck, kid." He spoke before he turned back to his work. "You'll need it."
-
The observation tower rose from the abandoned sector like a broken finger that pointed towards the stars. It was condemned years ago, structural damage, they said. But it stood. Outlasting most of the "safe" buildings around it.
I heard them before I saw them. Alexei's laugh, too loud, too forced. Wei's voice pitched higher than normal. Diana's silence was somehow louder than both of them.
My pace quickened as I checked the time on my commlink, 2215—shit. They weren't going to let me live this down.
The climb was muscle memory. Hand here, foot there, swing wide around the broken section. Avoid the rusted beam that looked solid but really wasn't. I'd made this climb hundreds of times.
After a few minutes of climbing, there they were, waiting at the very top of our spot, the nest. Below us, the city sprawled out in a complex grid of lights, and above, the two moons hovered in the sky, casting a pale glow. The illumination painted their faces in shifting hues of amber and blue, sharply outlining the features of their cheeks and brows. It felt so familiar, yet so alien.
Alexei sprawled against the railing, all nervous energy even while sitting still. Wei sat with her back straight, perfect posture, even here where no one was watching. Diana perched at the edge like a ghost, small and pale in the moonlight.
"Took you long enough," Alexei said. His smile didn't reach his eyes.
I pulled myself up onto the platform, my boots scraping against the rusted metal. I took a moment to catch my shallow breathing. "I'm...Huff two minutes early."
"Nice try, but you're twenty minutes late." Diana retorted.
I waved my hand, dismissing her comment. "Yeah, two minutes early in Marcus's time." I gave an impish smile before taking a seat next to Chen Wei.
"That's not how time works, idiot."
"It is tonight."
Chen Wei shifted as I sat down beside her. Our shoulders touched. Her hair had fallen loose from its usual professional bun, black strands caught the amber city-glow. She looked brighter like this. Less Ice Princess, more just... Wei.. "Family dinner keep you?"
"Something like that..." I didn't expound too much, not wanting to worry the group.
She didn't push. She never did. It was one of the things I— One of the things we appreciated about her. Diana glanced at me with a strange look. I forced myself to meet her gaze. It was held for a moment before she turned her eyes elsewhere.
"So." Alexei produced a bottle from his pack with the flourish of a bad actor. The label was faded, earth-vintage supposedly. "Last night of equality and all that. We drinking or we crying?"
"Why not both?" I replied.
"That's the spirit!" Alexei twisted the cap. The seal broke with a soft hiss. "To the Nest." He raised the bottle toward the sky. "To us. To the last night we're all just... us."
I suppressed a wince; the contrast between the toast from the dinner earlier and this was night and day. Conflicting emotions stirred within me.
Alexei took a swig of the drink first and coughed. "God, that's awful."
"Let me." Wei reached for it, surprising the whole group.
"The Ice Princess is going to break some rules for a change? Ohhh the humanity~." Alexei performed, causing a chuckle to escape my lips.
"Just give it here." She snapped.
He handed it over. Chen Wei took a long pull, longer than I expected. When she lowered the bottle, her eyes were watering. "You're right. That is terrible."
"Told you."
The bottle came to me next. I hesitated.
"You don't have to," Diana said quietly.
"I know." I took it. The glass was still warm from Chen Wei's hands. I tipped the bottle up to my lips as I began to sip. It burned going down, tasted like regret and bad decisions. Perfect for tonight. "Definitely terrible."
I passed it over to Diana, who took it last. The bottle barely touched her lips before she handed it back to Alexei without drinking.
"Come on, Ghost Girl. It's tradition."
"Tradition, my ass. I don't need it." Diana retorted.
"None of us need it. That's not the point." Alexei mused.
"Then what is the point?" Her voice was soft. Sad.
Alexei opened his mouth, but no words came. He shrugged. "Hell if I know." He took another drink.
The silence stretched. Below us, the city hummed. Distant sirens. The hum of transport shuttles. Somewhere a child laughed, high and clear. Tomorrow, that kid will go to school. Play. Live. We got sorted into categories that would define the rest of our lives.
"My father got drunk tonight," I said before I even realised. The words just came. "Really drunk. Started yelling about mortality rates."
"Shit," Alexei muttered.
"Uncle Michael and David were there, too. They kept..." I trailed off, not knowing how to explain it.
"Being assholes?" Chen Wei offered. I gave a nod; she was the only other one of us who came from a military family. The only one who understood the family politics.
"Grandfather pulled me aside. Told me stories about my great aunt."
"The Lydia one?" Wei asked. "S-Grade? Died at Proxima?"
"Yeah. That one," My thoughts drifted to the datapad under my pillow. The journals. Visions of her own death. "He does like telling that story, doesn't he?" I gave a weak laugh, but it convinced no one.
Diana's eyes were on me again. She knew I was lying. Or not lying exactly. Just not telling everything. She had this weird intuition that was scarily accurate. If she weren't a friend, I would think it was creepy.
"My security detail followed me halfway here," Wei said. Changed the subject, saving me. "Had to lose them in the construction zone. Nearly broke my ankle jumping a fence."
"The Ice Princess, breaking more than just one rule tonight." Alexei's grin was genuine this time. "I'm so proud."
"Shut up."
"No, really. There's hope for you yet."
"I said shut up, Lex."
"Make me, Prin-"
Chen Wei punched his shoulder. Hard. He laughed and rubbed the spot.
"I hope you bruise."
"Worth it."
"Children," Diana said. No heat in it. Just observation.
"Yes, mom," we all said in unison.
"Never call me that again," she replied.
A moment of lightness permeated.
"Do you think it'll hurt?" Wei's voice was small. Vulnerable in a way I'd never heard from her before.
Alexei rolled the bottle between his palms. "No idea, we're not actually told how it works. Maybe they just take some blood. Machine analyses it. Poof. A couple minutes later, you know your whole future." He shrugged. "Probably doesn't hurt physically."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know."
The bottle made another round. Slower this time. We had begun rationing it, like the alcohol could somehow stretch the night longer. Diana took a real sip this time, not the pretend one from before. Her face twisted.
"I'm going to be F-grade," Alexei abruptly said, like he was making a casual comment on the weather. But I saw his fingers tighten around the bottle neck. Saw the muscle in his jaw twitch.
"Maybe D if I'm lucky. Probably F."
"You don't know that," I tried. The words felt hollow even as I said them.
"Sure, I do." He gestured with the bottle, the liquid sloshing. "Parents are both D-grade. Grandparents were F. I probably won't even awaken. Then it's sanitation work or factory shifts until something kills me."
He took another drink. Longer this time. When he lowered the bottle, his eyes were wet. From the alcohol? I doubted it.
"Eighty per cent mortality rate within five years for D-Grades who awaken and enter the mech corps," Alexei muttered.
"Alexei—" I tried, my throat choking; I wanted to reassure him. But I couldn't; there was nothing I could say. Nothing that I knew to say. Father's words echoed in the back of my mind, like an alarm that I couldn't switch off.
"It's fine." He gave a false grin.
That grin again. God, that damned grin. The one I know he used to practice alone, so it would look effortless. "I've made my peace. Someone's gotta keep the toilets working, right? Glamorous."
"Stop," Chen Wei said. Her voice had an edge I'd never heard before.
"Why? It's true."
"Because-" She looked at me. Then at Diana. Back to Alexei. I could see her trying to find the right words. Words that wouldn't be a lie. "Because... Because you're more than a statistic."
"We're all statistics, Princess." The nickname came out harder than usual. Sharp. "Some of us just have better numbers."
Chen Wei flinched like he'd slapped her. Alexei saw it. I watched something crumble in his expression, the mask slipping for just a second. Raw regret underneath.
"Sorry. That was-"
"True," she finished for him. "That was true."
She pulled her knees tighter to her chest, in an attempt to make herself smaller. Chen Wei, she who walked through the academy like she owned it, trying to disappear...
"I'm going to test high. Probably A. Maybe S." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "And I'm going to hate every second of it."
I wanted to say something. Comfort her somehow. But what could I say? At least you'll be powerful?At least you'll matter? Everything felt so wrong. Wasn't that the dream? Wasn't that the goal?
"That's—" Alexei started in my place.
"Don't—" Her voice cracked. Actually cracked. "Don't tell me I'm lucky. Don't tell me I should be grateful. Just... don't."
The silence pressed down on us. Heavy. Suffocating.
Diana shifted. The movement caught my eye. She'd been so still I'd almost forgotten she was there. That was Diana's gift, being present yet absent at the same time.
"My parents are resonators," she declared. We all looked at her in horror.
She stared at her hands, fingers laced together. "I moved here six years ago from... somewhere. Somewhere I'm not supposed to talk about."
It came as a bombshell; it meant she'd likely never join us in the mech corps as we'd promised. She was going to be shipped off to some facility in the middle of nowhere and trained as either a navigator or some other classified job.
Resonators were different from typical cultivators; they didn't abide by the typical genetic grading. Cultivators channelled Ether through themselves and were limited by their bodies' genetic limit. Resonators channelled themselves through Ether, limited only by their willpower.
Resonator parents gave birth to resonator offspring, cultivators gave birth to cultivators. No matter what, we couldn't keep our promise of staying together.
The silence that followed was different from before. Heavier. More final.
"So you've known this whole time," Alexei said. Not angry, just tired. "That we were never going to-"
"Yes." She cut him off.
One word. Yet it felt like a punch to my stomach.
"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked. My voice came out hollow.
Diana looked up. Her eyes were wet. "Because I wanted to pretend. Just for a little while longer. That we could be normal. That tomorrow was just about grades and not about..." She gestured vaguely. "This."
"How long have you known?" Chen Wei's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Since I was six. Since they first explained what I was. What my parents were." Diana wiped at her eyes. "They told me I'd be tested differently. That I'd go to different schools. Have a different life. But then we met, and I thought... maybe I could have a normal life. Just for a few years. Just be a kid with friends who didn't see me as a tool."
"We never-" Alexei started.
"I know." She cut him off gently. "You never did. That's why I stayed. Even though I knew it would end like this."
I tried to process it. All those Friday nights at the Nest. All those stupid jokes and late-night study sessions and plans for the future. She'd known. The entire time. That it was all temporary.
"The mech corps," Chen Wei said. "We were going to pilot together. Same unit. Same-"
"I know what we promised."
"But you knew it was a lie." Chen Wei remarked, I expected more venom. But instead came resignation.
"It was a hope." Diana's voice cracked. "There's a difference."
Alexei laughed. Sharp and bitter. "Is there, though? Hope that's impossible is just a slower way to break your own heart."
"Maybe." Diana looked at him. "But it was worth it. Every second was worth it."
"Don't." Alexei stood abruptly, pacing towards the edge of the platform. He gazed outwards to the city below, his face hidden. "Don't make it sound noble. You lied to us."
"I know."
"We made plans!"
"I know."
"We promised!"
"I know!" Diana's voice broke. Real tears streamed down her face. "Do you think I don't know? Do you think I haven't been carrying this the entire time? Watching you all make plans that included me? Watching you dream about things that could never happen?"
Chen Wei pulled away from me, wrapping her arms around herself. "You could have... You could have said something..."
"When?" Diana demanded. "When we were nine? When we were twelve? Yesterday? There was never a good time. There was only ever going to be now. Tonight. When it was too late to change anything and early enough that you'd hate me for it."
"We don't hate you." For the first time today, I spoke with conviction. True conviction. I didn't know how to make the situation better, but I knew I could be honest.
"You should." Diana wiped at her face. "I stole five years from you. Five years you could have spent... I don't know. Making other friends. Friends who could actually keep their promises."
"Shut up," Alexei said. He turned from the edge. His face was red. From anger or tears, I couldn't tell. "Just shut up. You didn't steal anything. We chose this. We chose you."
"But I knew-"
"So what?" Alexei stepped closer. His face was red, tear-tracks cutting through the dust on his cheeks. "So you knew it would end. Everything ends. At least you had the guts to stick around anyway."
Diana stared at him.
"I'm going to be F-grade," Alexei continued. His voice shook. "I've known that my whole life. That I'd probably die in some stupid combat drop or factory accident before I turned twenty-five. But I still showed up every Friday. Still made jokes. Still pretended we had forever." He gestured at Chen Wei. "She's going to test at least A-grade and get shipped off to the Crystal Spire, where they'll polish her into the perfect Chen weapon. Marcus is probably going to end up just like his Aunt Lydia, sacrificing himself in battle trying to protect something. And you?" He pointed at Diana. "You're going to navigate ships between stars, and maybe, if we're lucky, we'll see your name in some classified report somewhere."
"Lex-"
"My point is," he said, "We're all fucked. In different ways. But we're fucked together. Or we were. For a little while. And I don't regret a single second of it."
The words hung in the air. It was raw and honest; it was Alexei. If it wasn't for him, I doubt we would've stayed friends for as long as we did.
Chen Wei stood slowly. She walked over to Diana. For a moment, I thought she might hit her. Instead, she pulled her into a hug. It didn't take long for Diana to break; she sobbed into Chen Wei's shoulder like a child. We joked about Diana being a mom, but it was Chen Wei who was there to fix us when we were sad.
"I'm sorry," Diana choked out. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you. I wanted-"
"I know," Wei said softly. "I know."
Alexei joined them. Then me. We stood there in a tangle of limbs and tears and broken promises. Holding onto each other because it was all we had left. We stayed there for an eternity that was far too short. The only thing that broke us apart was the dark sky that began to slowly lighten.
No one wanted to move, yet we had to. I was the first to pull away, breaking the group hug. I took a seat and grabbed the bottle. Content to finish it off, I took a swig only to find it was empty.
Alexei gave out a boisterous laugh as he took a seat opposite me. He had another bottle, but I knew there wasn't enough time to get started on it, never mind finish it. Soon, both Chen Wei and Diana followed suit, sitting down. Closer than before.
"So what happens tomorrow?" I asked. "After the tests?"
"I won't be there," Diana said. "Resonator testing is... different. This is the last time we'll speak."
"So what? We just... what? Say goodbye?" Chen Wei's voice was raw.
"I don't know." Diana looked at the brightening sky. "I don't know what we do."
"We remember," I said. "That's what we do. We remember that for five years, four kids from completely different worlds decided to be friends anyway. And it was real. Even if it couldn't last. It was real."
"It was real," Alexei echoed.
"It was real," Wei agreed.
Diana nodded. "It was real."
A sudden realisation struck me, and I spoke before second-guessing myself. "In two years, before our first deployments, we get a month's leave. Even if we're separated by stars, let's make a promise that we'll meet here. On this day, in this very spot, 2200. " I forced a smile as tears blurred my eyes. "Don't be late."
I placed my hand out, palm facing downwards, without hesitation, Chen Wei put her hand over mine. Her warmth passed through me, reassuring me. Alexei soon followed, that pained grin formed into one true. Finally, Diana's hand rested gently over Alexei's.
"Two years from now!" We all echoed in unison.
The first ray of sunlight broke over the horizon. 0600. Time was up. We sat in silence for a moment. Hands intertwined as we watch the sun begin to rise over Eridani Prime. Watched the city wake. Watched as our last morning as equals began.