The first week in Florida passed in a blur.Papa kept me busy, Percy kept me laughing, and for a few hours a day, I almost forgot everything I left behind.
Almost.
Then my phone kept buzzing.
Ci-N:"Jay-Jay! I know I've been childish and dumb sometimes, but I'm really sorry if I ever made things worse. Can we talk? I really miss you."
Mayo:"Jay-Jay… Kit and I wanted to apologize for everything. We didn't mean to hurt you. Can we please call or text?"
Kit:"Jay-Jay, please. I just want to hear your voice and explain. We hope you can forgive us someday."
Eman:"Jay-Jay, it's Eman .You helped me when I needed it most. But I didn't and I am really sorry for that. Maybe we can talk if you're free?"
I stared at the messages, my chest tight. They all wanted something from me—closure, forgiveness, maybe friendship again. But I didn't know if I could give it.
I pressed my lips together and ignored them, scrolling past each one.
Even as their words flashed on the screen, my mind wandered somewhere else.
Keifer.
Even though I had left, even though I was safe in Florida, my thoughts kept going back to him.
I remembered the day I left. The way he picked me up, whispered he just wanted to explain, the way his eyes didn't want to let me go. I closed my eyes, trying to push it away, trying to tell myself that I had chosen Florida, that I had chosen Percy, that I had chosen safety.
But it didn't work.
Not when my heart was still tied to him.
I tossed the phone onto the bed. My hands lingered over it for a moment, my fingers trembling slightly. Even as I tried to focus on the texts from Ci-N, Mayo, Kit, and Eman, part of me felt guilty. They were reaching out, honest and nervous and sincere, but I couldn't focus on that. My mind kept drifting back to Keifer, to the memories that made my chest ache.
I sat on the edge of the bed and hugged my knees, my eyes on the ceiling.
Maybe I should reply. Maybe I should tell them I forgive them, or that I need more time. But the truth was, no apology or explanation from anyone could fill the emptiness I felt without Keifer.
Every time I tried to think about my new life here, the thought of him intruded. His voice, his presence, the way he always somehow saw right through me. It was maddening. I wanted to forget him. I needed to.
And yet…
Even in Florida, even safe in Papa's home, even laughing with Percy, my heart kept pulling me back.
I didn't respond to the texts. Not yet. I couldn't. I needed space—not from them, not entirely—but from the past that still included Keifer.
I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, letting the Florida sunlight stream through the window. A warm breeze drifted in, carrying the faint sound of the neighborhood. I tried to focus on that. Tried to focus on the small comforts of my new life.
But deep down, I already knew…
No matter how far I ran, no matter how much I tried, no matter how safe I thought I was…
I would always come back to him.
And the thought both terrified me and comforted me in the same breath.