Ughhh…"
Kael rubbed his eyes, dragging himself toward the massive mirror — a mirror so big it looked like a royal bathtub standing upright. He stared at his reflection.
"…What the hell was that dream?"
His own confused face stared back at him.
Those memories — no, that birth scene — why did it suddenly appear only when he fell asleep?
He splashed cold water on his face.
The memory of the maid's worried expression resurfaced.
"What have I gotten myself into… my—"
PINCH
"ARGH—! F— that hurts!"
Great. Perfect. Wonderful.
"So this isn't a dream… and here I was thinking I'd be one of those protagonists. You know… get a harem, be OP, live life however I want."
He paused.
"…Bullshit. This is bullshit."
He gave up and climbed into the warm bath.
"Aaaah… well, at least I'm rich. But richness without power is sin."
He stared at his fingers dramatically.
"Let's see… Grandpa's finger! Master Golden—Buddha…? Open sesame?"
Silence.
Nothing happened.
"…Okay now what?"
An idea hit him.
"Maybe I have a system? No—no, Kael, don't think about that parasite. It'll fatten you up and eat you."
He pointed at nothing, lecturing the empty room like a madman.
But fate is a troll.
•Ding— Host, your system has arriv—##!? ERROR. ERROR.
Kael froze.
He blinked.
"Holy sh— it's real. Here it co—"
The panel glitched violently.
The loading bar stopped at 99% and refused to move.
"…Eh?"
He reached out. His hand passed through it.
It was like touching fog.
Then—
•Ding— Corruption detected. Host, deleting fil—##!?##
The glitching worsened. Kael's heart thumped.
"Wait— WAIT. What is this?"
Detonation sequence: 10… 9… 8… 5… 3…
"STOP— WAIT— WHY IS THERE A DETONATION SEQUENCE IN A SYSTEM—?!"
He jumped out of the bathtub, dripping water everywhere.
"If this thing explodes I DIE TOO! SYSTEM! SYSTEM GET OUT—"
1.
0.
Beep beep.
Kael shut his eyes.
"Well… goodbye world. I pray for a peaceful—"
PPIISHU! PPIISHU!
Fireworks.
Actual fireworks exploded over the glitching panel.
Kael opened one eye.
"…Huh?"
A cheerful robotic boy-voice echoed:
"Ding! Congratulations host! You have been selected by the MIGHTY SYSTEM! Pishu! Prishu!"
More fireworks.
Kael stared, deadpan.
"…W. T. F."
He screamed.
So loudly that—
—PUSH!
The door burst open.
"Young master! What happened?!" Lalia rushed in, panicked.
She saw him.
She saw all of him.
She froze.
Her eyes slowly drifted downward.
"K—Kyaa—!! Kyaa!! KYAAA!!"
She screamed like an anime heroine and bolted out of the room, hair flying, still screaming.
Kael blinked.
"…Did… did she just…"
7 seconds....
From entrance to exit.
He stared blankly.
"…Am I going to be called a pervert now?"
"Ding— Master, you have nothing to worry about," the system chimed helpfully.
He looked back.
The panel now had… a face.
A dumb emoji face.
"What… are you?"
"Ding— I am the ####&$$$ and I am here to lead Master to—"
Only gibberish came out where its name should've been.
"And what 'great heights' are you talking about? Why the throat-clearing??"
"Ding— My apologies."
"Apologies, my left nut. Are you the one who brought me here?"
"Ding— While I'd love to answer, Host has insufficient authority. Until you reach Authority Level 5, you are locked at Level 1."
"So… like leveling up?"
"Ding— No, Host, that's not—"
It suddenly froze.
Then:
"Master… we fked up."*
Kael stopped mid-dip back into the warm water.
"…What?"
"Master, we are in the wrong dimension. Scanning— scanning—!!"
Kael's blood turned cold.
"Wrong wha— WHAT?!"
"This world is within The Beyond. Ex-rank universe!"
"And what does THAT mean?!"
"Powerful beings will notice us—"
Kael almost fainted.
"NOTICE WHO—?! NOT ME I JUST GOT HERE—"
"Ding— No worries, Master! My scan is complete! This universe is higher-level than intended for your reincarnation, yes… but as compensation, Master will receive UNIQUE GIFTS!"
"…What kind of logic is that??"
Still… gifts were gifts.
He took a deep breath.
He spoke the sacred words every wannabe transmigrator dreams of:
"…Status."
The panel flickered.
Then—
….