With the engine roaring, Bulma drove smoothly along winding mountain roads.
One hand on the wheel, one eye glued to the radar's blinking dot, she only relaxed when it stabilized very close.
"Whew… didn't get lost this time!"
She glanced over at the passenger seat. Vitelli was sleeping soundly, head tilted, sunlight dappling his sharp profile.
"Hey, Vitelli!"
Bulma pushed him, annoyed. "Wake up! What kind of bodyguard sleeps this much? I'm driving, you know!"
Vitelli jerked awake, rubbed his eyes, yawned lazily, and said, "Focus on driving… don't look at me, look ahead. There's a surprise up front."
"Surprise? Wha—" Bulma followed his finger and her pupils shrank.
On the narrow road ahead stood a child in a ragged orange gi, carrying a wild boar bigger than he was. The boar's tusks were practically touching the bumper.
"Waaah—move!"
Bulma screamed and slammed the brakes.
Screeeech—!!!
The tires shrieked against the road. The car lurched forward and finally stopped less than a meter from the kid and boar.
Bulma collapsed onto the steering wheel, heart pounding.
Outside, the boy hopped back nimbly, big eyes wary of the metal beast. A red staff came up defensively.
"Hey! What kind of monster are you?!" the boy shouted, curious more than afraid.
Bulma jumped out, hands on hips, still shaken. "Monster your head! We're humans!"
The boy pointed at her with absolute certainty. "You don't have a tail! You can't be human!"
He even proudly swung the furry tail behind him.
"Huh? You have a tail too?"
Bulma stared, then looked to Vitelli's own tail as he stepped out.
Vitelli smirked. Without warning, his tail snapped out like a whip and smacked the boy lightly on the head.
"Ow! That hurts!"
The kid grabbed his head, glaring like a startled animal.
"Why'd you hit me?!"
Bulma looked from the boy's tail to Vitelli's tail, completely bewildered. "What is this? Is this kid also… an alien?"
Vitelli nodded, a faint nostalgia in his gaze. He pointed at the boy.
"He's the same as me. Planet Vegeta. We're Saiyans. His Saiyan name is Kakarot."
"No I'm not!" the boy shouted, face red with indignation. "I'm Son Goku! Grandpa named me that! I'm not Kakarot!"
"Sure, sure, Goku." Vitelli shrugged. He didn't care to argue with a amnesiac kid.
He casually pulled Bulma's two-star Dragon Ball from her bag and held it out to Goku.
"Kid, you got anything like this at home?"
Goku's eyes lit up. "Huh? Why do you have another Grandpa?" He instinctively touched the four-star ball hanging on his neck.
Bulma facepalmed. "That's not your grandpa. It's a Dragon Ball. Anyway, since you've got one too… can you lend it to us? We just want to use them to make a wish. We promise to return it!"
Goku clutched his four-star ball and shook his head violently. "Grandpa can't be lent! Grandpa is Grandpa!"
"Aaagh! You blockhead!" Bulma screamed, raking her blue hair in frustration.
Vitelli folded his arms and watched like he was at a show.
In the end, after Bulma's desperate explaining plus food bribery, and the occasional calm look from Vitelli that made Goku's instincts shout don't mess with him, the boy finally agreed to travel with them—on the condition he carried his "Grandpa" himself.
With Vitelli's human cheat-code strength around, the Dragon Ball hunt's tone changed completely. Efficiency skyrocketed, and the trip became so smooth Bulma almost felt disappointed.
First, a rusted modified car blocked them in a desert. A ragged leather-jacketed young man jumped out to rob them, with a floating blue cat named Puar beside him.
"Stop! This road is—uh?!" Yamcha's opening line died halfway.
Vitelli didn't even step out. He rolled the window down and flicked a finger.
An invisible ki blast slammed Yamcha in the chest like a battering ram. His swagger froze. Eyes bulging, he didn't even get to scream before he shot into the sky as a streak, vanishing with a long fading "Aaaah—!"
"Yamcha-sama!!" Puar shrieked, turning into a bat and chasing after the "meteor."
Bulma sat inside with her mouth wide open, chips dropping to the floor.
Goku pressed to the window, yelling happily, "Whoa! He flew so far! Awesome!"
Later, in a fog-shrouded village rumoured to be haunted by a pig demon named Oolong, Goku charged in with righteous fury. After a ridiculous brawl, they "rescued" the girls in Oolong's mansion—only to find them lounging, well-fed, drinking tea, complaining that their "saviors" disturbed their cushy life.
A bruised Oolong cried, "I just wanted true love! They chose to stay! I'm innocent!"
Vitelli, Bulma, and Goku stood there, speechless at the absurdity. In the end, Oolong paid for peace and handed over his three-star ball.
During a campout, Goku saved a lost giant sea turtle, which brought the arrival of Master Roshi—floral shirt, sunglasses, cane, and a vibe of shameless lechery. Roshi was shocked Goku could ride the Nimbus and gave it to him in gratitude.
But Roshi's old martial instincts screamed at the sight of Vitelli leaning on the car, lazily "ordinary." There was an ancient beast sleeping in that youth.
When Roshi's leering eyes inevitably drifted toward Bulma and he started to ask for something pervy…
Vitelli simply turned his head and looked at him.
A crushing pressure like the deep sea dropped on Roshi. His grin froze, pupils shrinking, cold sweat soaking his shirt.
He snapped upright, coughed twice, and declared with absurd seriousness, "Ahem! I just remembered the people of Fire Mountain are suffering! Saving them is urgent! I'll handle it! Farewell!"
He practically fled on the turtle in a blur.
Finally, they broke into Emperor Pilaf's laughably gimmicky castle. Pilaf screamed through loudspeakers from a giant robot cockpit about his "super invincible annihilation robot No. 3."
The enormous robot stomped forward, swinging a mechanical arm at their car.
Vitelli sighed, raised one finger, and tapped the glowing core.
A golden beam pierced the alloy, striking the core dead center.
BOOOOM—!!!
The robot exploded from within, disintegrating into flaming shards. Pilaf and his two henchmen, blackened and unconscious, were dragged from the rubble as they wailed and fled.
Vitelli strolled over and casually collected the remaining Dragon Balls from the smoking wreckage.
When all seven Dragon Balls lay neatly on a wide field, Bulma felt unreal.
"W-we… we got them?" she murmured, staring at the last one-star ball in her hand. "It was… way too easy…"
Apart from meeting Goku and Roshi, everything felt like a picnic.
Vitelli laughed softly and ruffled her hair.
"What, you wanted to be chased by dinosaurs, kidnapped by bandits, nearly cooked alive? With me here?"
Bulma swatted his hand away, flustered, but her disappointment faded.
"Okay! The important thing is making a wish!"
She arranged the seven balls as the book described.
"Come out, Shenron! Grant my wish!"
In an instant, black clouds swallowed the sky. Day became night. Wind howled.
Seven pillars of golden light shot upward. A dragon's roar—ancient and soul-shaking—echoed across the world.
A colossal green, sacred dragon coiled in the storm clouds.
Its head lowered like a god.
"Now! Speak your wish! Any wish! I will grant it!"
Vitelli watched with amused interest, but thought to himself, Bulma won't wish for a 'prince charming' or something, right? He felt weirdly tense.
Yet Bulma stared at Shenron, then at Vitelli, her face full of confusion and conflict.
Money? She had plenty.
Beauty? She was confident.
A perfect lover? ...she already seemed to have one.
So what could she wish for?
Under Shenron's gaze, with Vitelli and Goku waiting, Bulma finally deflated and turned to Vitelli miserably.
"Vitelli… I… I don't know what to wish for…"
Vitelli: "…"
Shenron: "…"
Up in the heavens, the Guardian of Earth slipped and sat down hard in shock.
The air froze.
Shenron, clearly impatient, rumbled again—now somehow sounding faintly helpless.
"Hurry and speak your wish. Any wish, I will grant!"
Vitelli's mischief flared. He grinned wickedly.
"Really? Any wish? Alright. Shenron—listen carefully. My wish is: let me immediately and completely master Ultra Instinct!"
Bulma blinked and tugged his sleeve. "Ultra Instinct? Is that some super-strong technique?"
Vitelli just smiled up at the dragon.
Shenron went silent.
Its red eyes widened, whiskers trembling. Its huge body wriggled uneasily in the clouds.
Finally, with obvious embarrassment and even a little stutter, Shenron said, "…Th-that… exceeds my capacity… p-please choose another wish…"
Vitelli chuckled. "Fine. Then: teach me Instant Transmission as mastered by Supreme Kai Shin."
Shenron drooped.
"…That secret art contains divine law beyond my reach… p-please choose another…"
Seeing Shenron's dignity completely collapse, Vitelli stopped teasing.
He turned to Bulma seriously. "Bulma, are you really giving up this chance? It's Shenron. Any wish."
Bulma puffed up, trying to look fierce though a hint of insecurity slipped through.
"I… I gave up wishing because of you, Vitelli! So you'd better—better never break up with me! If you do, I'll use the Dragon Balls to curse you!"
Vitelli blinked, warmth flooding his chest.
Looking at the girl who was blushing like crazy while pretending to be threatening, he nodded solemnly.
"Don't worry. A genius, beautiful, rich girl like you? Only an idiot would ever want to break up."
He looked up at Shenron again.
"Alright. My real wish—grant me mastery of Yardrat's Instant Transmission."
Shenron practically shouted in relief, voice booming fast before Vitelli could change his mind.
"Simple! Your wish is granted! Farewell!"
The darkness retreated like water. Sunlight returned. The Dragon Balls shot skyward as seven orange meteors, scattering across the world.
Vitelli vanished and reappeared in midair, snatching the newly stone-gray four-star ball before it flew away.
He landed lightly and tossed it back to Goku.
"Here, Goku. Keep it safe. In a year it'll return to normal."
Goku grinned and hung it around his neck, patting it fondly.
"Goku, got anything else you need to do?" Bulma asked. "If not, want to come to my house with us?"
Goku shook his head. He'd promised Master Roshi he'd go train after the Balls were collected.
He waved hard at them. "Nimbus!"
The golden cloud arrived. Goku hopped on and beamed.
"See you later, Bulma, Vitelli! Next time I'll beat you!"
Nimbus shot off into the horizon.
Only Vitelli and Bulma remained.
Bulma looked at him, eyes full of things she couldn't say, cheeks slightly pink.
Vitelli extended his broad hand with a gentle smile.
"Then, Miss Bulma… please take care of me from here on out."
Bulma looked at his hand, then his earnest eyes, and the last of her nervousness melted into sweetness.
She smiled brightly and clasped his hand.
"Yeah! Vitelli! Take care of me too!"