AMARYLLIS' POV
The whole lounge was silent, but I could feel the tension in the air, like suffocating smoke. My father sat in his leather armchair, holding his cup of coffee and feigning that he was relaxed. But I know him; I knew he was concealing his guilt, even as he obstinately refused to admit it to himself.
Me? I couldn't sit down. I was so fidgety. I couldn't breathe properly.
The moment I learn what happened last night, my mind shouldn't unravel this quickly. My sister, Heartfilia-my soft, fragile, kind, obedient sister-gave in?! And to a man she doesn't even love?! To a man she doesn't even like?! To a man whose life she shouldn't even have to interfere with?!
No. I cannot accept this.
And the thing which I absolutely cannot accept?
Our father… ALLOWED IT.
"Dad…" I began, my voice cold. "I heard what happened."
He looked up, impassive. "What happened?"
I wanted to slap his lack of conscience.
"Don't treat me like an idiot," I answered sharply. "I know something happened between them, I know that shouldn't have happened. And the most shocking part… YOU DID NOTHING."
Silence. I was fighting desperately not to scream.
"Amaryllis," he said in his perpetually controlled tone, "we have no certainty regarding your assumptions. You don't know the whole-
"No, I know enough," I cut him off. "I saw Filia's face before she left earlier. Red eyes. Shaky. Clearly she had been crying. And she can't even look at me."
I stopped. My jaw ached from clenching so hard.
"Don't tell me that you didn't feel anything, seeing her like this."
"I talked to her earlier," said Dad in a low tone of voice. "She said she's fine."
"She said… she said…" I laughed bitterly. "She ALWAYS says she's fine, Dad. Even when she's not."
The father did not stir. Surging, as from an increasing fire, I did.
"Don't you understand?!" I shouted. "She wasn't supposed to sleep with him! That wasn't part of the plan! That wasn't part of any discussion you had!"
He blinked, taken aback slightly by my outburst. That was rare. I never scream at him. Ever. In front of him, I am the perfect daughter: composed, elegant, refined.
But now?
I couldn't help myself.
"Lower your voice," said Father coldly.
"No," I shot back, "I won't lower my voice. Not when it involves my sister. Not when YOU were supposed to protect her."
"I didn't mean to—"
"Then why didn't you stop her?!"
I gripped the side of the table and almost broke it.
"Why didn't you tell her it was not necessary to go so far? Why did you allow her to stay there all alone? Why did you let her fall into that trap?"
He didn't reply.
Said it all.
"You let her down," I whispered, hurt.
"Amaryllis—"
"You failed her."
He swallowed, as if struck. Good. He needed to be feeling something. Anything.
He took a deep breath. "I don't control everything that happens. Sometimes we need to let Filia do what she needs to do—"
"What she needs to do?!" I cut in. "So sleeping with him is what she 'needs' to do?!"
He stood up suddenly. "ENOUGH."
I smirked, bitter, full of rage. "I'm just telling the truth."
He straightened up his polo shirt, making an effort to settle down. "If something happened between the two of them, that's between them. That is none of your responsibility to discuss.
"Of course it's my responsibility," I answered, taking a further step forward. "I am her older sister. I'm the one who knows better. I'm the one who is supposed to protect her. And you? YOU are her father!"
I saw his eyes darken, but I didn't back down.
"She trusted you," I whispered. "She really did believe you'd show her the way."
"I am guiding her," he said in a near whisper but emphasized. "Everything I do is for her future."
"Future?!" I laughed, the sound tinged with tears. "The future you sold her into?!"
He froze.
Bingo. On the money.
"You know, Dad…" I had to look away for a moment; I didn't want him to see me cry. "No matter what you say, I know there's something more to this arrangement. I know there's something I don't know. And I'm not stupid."
Silence.
Dead air.
"But even if I don't know the whole truth…" I returned my stare to him, burrowing into him, "I know this: Heartfilia would have never given herself away… if you had given her another choice."
He said nothing.
He couldn't.
I walked to the large mirror in the hall. There, I saw myself—eyes red, swollen, but my jaw still hard. I wouldn't cry in front of him. Never. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me weak.
However, I couldn't stop the pain.
The anger.
And the guilt.
Because I wasn't there last night, I wasn't there to stop Heartfilia.
I'm the older sister, and it's my job to protect her. I should have stood in the way.
But I wasn't there.
And my father. useless.
I sat down on the edge of the sofa, the tears falling without my realizing it. But I didn't wail. I wouldn't scream. I wouldn't lose control.
I held my tears back with the kind of strength I always used to pretend I had.
Till I felt someone approach.
Dad.
"Amaryllis…", he called softly.
I quickly wiped the tears away. "Don't."
"I understand you're upset—
"No, you don't." I rose to my feet. "You don't understand because you don't care. As long as you get what you want. As long as you secure the deal, or whatever secret agreement you have with Jharied's family."
And then I saw it-even if only for a second-the flicker of guilt in my father's eyes.
Even if he wouldn't admit it? I knew.
There was a secret.
A big one.
And Heartfilia was suffering for it.
"You know, Dad," I added, "you always say you want what's best for us. But why does it always feel like Filia is the one paying the price? Why does she always have to sacrifice? Why her?!"
He couldn't even look at me.
"I will speak with her later," he said, forcing a steady tone into his voice.
"I'll fix it."
"No." I shook my head. "I'll handle it."
He looked up at me.
"You?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, straightforward. "I will talk with Heartfilia. Keep hidden. It only hurts her more like this.
"Amaryllis—"
"No," I said again and this time with finality. "You've done enough damage."
He took a deep breath, saying nothing.
As I reached out to leave the living room, he suddenly said:
"Don't blame her too much."
I stopped.
"She's still your sister."
I breathed in deeply. "I am not blaming her." We looked at each other. "I'm blaming you." And finally, I walked out. Inside me? I was on fire. I won't let my sister get destroyed just because of Father's rash decision.
I won't let Heartfilia lose control because of pressure; I won't let her be lost in her own world.
She's mine to protect. And if she won't protect herself…
I will. And God help anybody who hurts her next.
To be continued.