Celeste Moonwhisper looked at Ravi like he was a rare fungus she'd just discovered growing on a rock.
"Well?" she demanded, tapping a perfectly manicured fingernail against the Guildmaster's mahogany desk. "I don't have all day. Science waits for no man, and certainly not for a stumbling F-Ranker."
"With all due respect, Archmage," Lyanna said, her voice tight with controlled anger. She stepped fully between Ravi and the elf. "You can't just 'requisition' a guild member. He's a free citizen of Aethelgard."
Guildmaster Theron cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Actually, Lyanna... the Royal Academy's charter does grant them certain... liberties when it comes to potential threats or anomalies. And given the reports..."
"Anomalies?" Lyanna scoffed. "He tripped! He got lucky! Since when is clumsiness a matter of national security?"
"Since it creates kinetic shockwaves capable of pulverizing tempered oak," Celeste countered smoothly. She walked around the desk, ignoring Lyanna's glare to stand directly in front of Ravi. She was shorter than him, but her presence was intimidating enough to fill a stadium. "Look at him. No mana. Atrophied muscle mass. Yet he survives impacts that would liquefy a normal human. It's biologically impossible. It's fascinating."
She reached out, as if to poke him. Ravi instinctively leaned back.
"Personal space," he muttered.
"Fascinating," she repeated, her eyes gleaming. "Even his reflexes are contradictory. Tell me, Ravi, do you feel pain? Or is your nervous system as deceptive as the rest of you?"
"I feel plenty of pain," Ravi lied. "Especially in my head right now."
Celeste ignored the sarcasm. "I propose a compromise. Since the 'Silver Princess' here seems so attached to her new pet project, I won't drag him to the Academy tower. Yet."
She pulled a small, intricate device from her robes. It looked like a pocket watch made of crystal and brass, covered in shifting runes.
"This is a Thaumaturgic Resonance Monitor," she explained, holding it up. "It records localized energy fluctuations. You will wear this at all times. And you will report to my private laboratory in the city once a week for... non-invasive testing."
"And if I refuse?" Ravi asked.
"Then I'll have you arrested for unregistered use of forbidden magic," Celeste said with a sweet, terrifying smile. "After all, without a plausible explanation for your abilities, one must assume you're concealing a dangerous artifact or a dark pact. The Inquisition would be very interested in hearing about that."
It was a bluff. Probably. But could he risk it? An Inquisition probe would definitely uncover the truth. Or worse, they'd decide he was a demon and try to burn him. He wouldn't burn, obviously, which would only make things infinitely more complicated.
Ravi sighed. He was trapped. Again.
"Fine," he said, taking the device. It was warm to the touch. "But no weird probes. And I get paid for my time."
Celeste blinked, taken aback. "Paid? You dare demand payment for the privilege of contributing to the advancement of magical theory?"
"My time is valuable. I have a lot of... napping to do."
For a second, she looked like she might incinerate him on the spot. Then, a flicker of amusement crossed her face. "Very well. Standard adventurer consultation fees. But be warned: if you try to fool my sensors, I will know. Science always finds the truth."
With a swish of her dark blue robes, she turned and swept out of the office, leaving a faint scent of ozone and old parchment in her wake.
The room was silent for a moment.
"Well," Guildmaster Theron said, wiping sweat from his brow. "That went better than expected."
Lyanna turned to Ravi, her expression grave. "You shouldn't have agreed to that. Celeste is... brilliant, but she's relentless. She won't stop until she's taken you apart, piece by piece, to see how you tick."
"Better her than the Inquisition," Ravi said, clipping the device to his belt. "Besides, maybe she'll get bored when she realizes I'm just a clumsy guy with weird luck."
Lyanna gave him a look that said we both know that's a lie. "Just be careful. She's dangerous in a way that monsters aren't. She doesn't want to kill you; she wants to understand you. And sometimes, that's worse."
The walk back to his cottage was quiet. Lyanna insisted on escorting him, her hand resting on the pommel of her sword as if she expected Celeste to jump out of a bush with a scalpel.
"You know," Ravi said, trying to lighten the mood. "You don't have to keep walking me home. I'm a big boy. I can handle a few potholes."
"It's not the potholes I'm worried about," she replied, scanning the rooftops. "And... I wanted to ask you something."
She stopped, turning to face him. The setting sun cast long shadows down the alley, bathing her in golden light. She looked hesitant, vulnerable in a way that made his chest ache.
"Why did you lie about the training sword?" she asked softly. "To Kaelen. To everyone. You let them laugh at you."
"It's safer that way," he said honestly. It was the closest to the truth he'd been all day. "People fear what they don't understand. If they think I'm a joke, they leave me alone. If they think I'm... something else... everything changes."
"I wouldn't fear you," she said. The words were simple, but the weight behind them was immense.
He looked into her eyes. He wanted to tell her. God, he wanted to tell her everything. About Earth, about the truck, about the crushing loneliness of being a superman in a world of glass.
But he couldn't. Not yet. The device on his belt felt heavy, a reminder that he was being watched, analyzed.
"I know," he said, forcing a smile. "You're the brave one, remember? I'm just the sidekick."
She reached out and took his hand. Her grip was firm. "You're more than that, Ravi. And whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me. I don't abandon my friends."
She squeezed his hand, then let go and stepped back. "Get some rest. Tomorrow... tomorrow we find you a real weapon. One that won't explode."
She turned and walked away, her silver hair catching the last rays of the sun.
Ravi watched her go, a mix of warmth and dread swirling in his gut. He looked down at the crystal device on his belt. The runes were glowing faintly, pulsing in time with his heartbeat.
Celeste was watching. Lyanna was trusting.
And he was just trying not to break the world.