Silence fills the atmosphere surrounding John and me. Have I perhaps made the wrong move? Will he say no? Even if he does, I won't agree to it. I will hold on to him and make a scene until he agrees.
"A date? Now?" he says. I'm curious as to what he looks like saying those words because he's looking in the opposite direction.
I stretch my head forward to see better, and to my surprise, he's blushing. I feel so delighted that I let go of his arm and stand in front of him. Then I lean forward as though expecting a kiss and pull lightly on his shirt.
"Yes! Now! Do you want me to wait outside?" I softly whisper into his ear and tiptoe.
He looks at me dumbfounded, and I give him a big smile, hoping that my seductive persuasion worked. He looks at me, then throws his eyes to the side, flustered, and says, stammering,
"Yes… I'll… be quick."
And so, I leave, skipping to the counter with my drink in hand, to pay. After paying, I walk outside the supermarket and wait. As promised, he doesn't stay long. Three minutes later, I see him making his way to me in a hurry.
"Do you have anywhere you want to go to?"
He asks, concerned and anxious. What is this I feel in my stomach? Do I have a tummy ache? No, it must be something else, but forget that. Where do I want to go with him?
"Would you like to watch a movie with me?" I ask with a smile on my face.
"I think so," he stammers again, nervously and anxiously.
Indeed, he's cute. He can't even give me a straight answer, but somehow, I love it. It makes me want more. I move closer to him, touch his right arm, and he flinches. I don't mind, so I continue until I'm able to wrap my arm around his tightly until he feels my chest.
"Shall we get going?" I ask, smiling calmly at him, and he nods in approval. I can tell that he's too nervous to even speak. His expressions are so precise, clear, and yet wonderful.
As we walk down the road, I continue to hold onto him, feeling nervous and stiff, as though it's my first time on a date. Once at the side, we hail a taxi to the nearest movie theatre. As the afternoon extends, I feel comfortable, a feeling foreign when it comes to dating, of course.
We arrive at the movie theatre, and instead of wrapping myself in his arm, we hold hands after he has paid for the taxi and head inside.
"Isn't that heavy?" I ask, concerned. He's holding the items he bought from the supermarket.
"No, it's light. I can carry it," he replies calmly as he walks face forward into the theatre.
I'm still holding his hand until I feel a slight discomfort that makes me feel good. I'm not sure what it means, but I don't want it to progress, so I let go. After letting go, I walk hurriedly in front of him to the counter to book two tickets to an action blockbuster movie. I look back and see an expressionless face, and for some reason, I feel bad.
"Come here!" I command, signalling him to come closer with my hand.
"What is it?" he asks curiously and attentively.
"Let's watch this. I've paid for the tickets and snacks. Help me carry them. The movie is about to start," I say, avoiding eye contact, showing him the goods, almost expecting some sort of praise.
"Okay," he replies. As he stretches out his hand to take the snacks, my eyes follow his and trace it back to his face, and there I see a slight smile as though he's enjoying himself. I instantly become submerged in bliss.
We walk calmly to the theatre room, and then I take notice of his body as I walk closely behind him. I didn't notice it before, but his back looks good to look at. His body gives off the aura of someone who exercises or participates in sports, not too slim not too bulky, and to top it off, he has slender shoulders.
I feel the bothersome sounds of the theatre disappear as though we are the only ones here, I follow him steadily from behind until he stops and moves slightly to the side. I'm confused until I see the door, realizing we have reached the theatre room. I open the door, and we both walk in. We search for seats until we notice an opening in the middle of the theatre.
As we sit and adjust, preparing to watch, I sneak side glances at him to examine his reactions. But most seem dull and inactive. I almost become annoyed, but I push it aside and tell myself that it's just him being him.
We both watch the movie with ease and total concentration. I guess that's why it's a blockbuster action movie. Once the lights are turned on, both John and I stand up to leave along with the crowd. The crowd was so much that we almost lost each other.
"What do you think?" I ask as we walk to the food court section. I'm not expecting much, but I'm fine with a one-word answer.
"It was quite an interesting movie, but that's to be expected of a blockbuster. Although, there are some parts I didn't like though," he speaks with ease and seriousness.
"Which part exactly?" I curiously ask.
"The 'plan B.' I doubt with that amount of blast no one would survive. I feel like that's an inconsistency," he replies with certainty and seriousness.
"What!? You're telling me that the main character should have died? No! No! No! The ending is perfect as it is," I say contradicting his words.
"But there's no reason behind his escape, don't you think it would be more heroic if he died?" he asserts, with certainty.
"Yeah, but…" Before I can finish my sentence, I hear a familiar voice call out to me.
"Rita!"
Out of curiosity, I looked to see who it was that called out to me and to my surprise, it was my best friend, Cassandra. She is wearing blue trousers and a white patterned top, with white canvas.
"Casey!" I exclaim with joy and excitement. I move towards her, and we share a heartfelt hug as though it's been years since we met.
"How are you?" I ask, concerned.
"I'm fine. Oh, you're with John too?" she replies with a bright smile on her face. However, when I hear the question, I remember that John is behind me and reply,
"Yes!"
At the time, I didn't see anything wrong with the situation, but I guess I was just being stupid. When Rita and John were greeting each other, I was met with reality. Casey is the one he has feelings for. The way he talks, the way he shows his expressions, he's more comfortable with her than he is with me. And here I am, acting like a stupid schoolgirl.
"What are you guys doing here?" Cassandra asks.
"Oh, well, you see, we're on a date," I say as I walk to John's side and hold onto his left arm smiling.
"You guys are dating?" she asks, surprised and curious.
"Yes, we're dating," I reply, maintaining my hypocritical smile, in an attempt to hold in the pain of reality.
"Oh, that's wonderful. You'll give me the details later. I have to meet up with David. See you soon," she says with unhindered happiness as she runs off to her beloved.
As soon as she's nowhere in sight, I let go of John's arm and drop my useless front. This time, I'm indifferent but pained.
"Is there anywhere else you want to go to?" he asks. I can tell he's concerned, but it isn't my priority.
"No, I'm going home," I say, still indifferent as I walk towards the exit.
"Would you like me to escort you home?" he replies, catching up to me, with the same concern that bothers me.
"No thank you," I say, trying my hardest to be polite. I quicken my pace and leave through the exit. I hail a taxi and ride back home, leaving John.
As soon as I get home, I race past my aunty without greeting her and go to my bedroom. As soon as I lock the door, I take off my sandals, my kimono, and my bag. They leave a trail to my bed, where I lay crouched to my left side. I don't even bother with my makeup or the jewellery I had on.
I truly am an idiot for thinking that there was a chance for feeling any relief. I entered this relationship to prevent him from getting close to Cassandra and to have some fun, not to fall in love.
Love has never treated me fairly. How could I have forgotten? I tell myself as I cry silently for about two minutes. Then I stand up from the bed and walk to my dressing table. I take off my jewellery and makeup and wipe away my silly tears.
After, I pick up my clothes, sandals, and bag from the floor place them appropriately in the wardrobe, and prepare to take a bath. After the bath, I wear more comfortable clothes and sit on my bed.
This is nothing but a loveless relationship to keep me busy and entertained. I should not be falling in love. Remember, his heart isn't yours, don't go any further.
This, I say to console myself and to remove all false hope because sooner or later, he'll get tired of me and leave like everyone else.