The way his eyes folded in half when he smiled, the little Indian dimples that formed beneath them, the mischievous curve of his lips,
they were all things Haeyoung used to adore.
Even on days when he was in a bad mood…
Even when he treated her harshly…
Even when she ended up crying alone afterward…
when he smiled at her like this, warm, gentle, affectionate, everything else suddenly seemed insignificant.
But not anymore.
She had spent six years loving that face.
Six years failing to walk away from that smile.
Yet now, unbelievably, she felt nothing.
No, the sight of it repulsed her.
"So, what should we order first? I'm getting the Greek salad. I started a diet."
"Diet? Why?"
The moment she asked, a notification chimed from Seongjun's phone.
He picked it up as if he'd been waiting for it. A faint smile tugged at his lips.
Tap-tap-tap, his fingers danced lightly across the screen.
He texted back and forth for quite a while, not caring whether Haeyoung watched or not.
It was a familiar loneliness.
Even when they were on dates, she never truly felt like they were together.
"What were we talking about?"
He finally put his phone down.
"We didn't get to talk yet. You only said hello."
"Right, that's it. Oh yeah, my diet! You know the show Love & Friendship, right?"
"The dating show?"
"Yeah. Season 1 was a huge hit. They cast me for Season 2. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."
"You're my boyfriend, and you're saying you'll go on a dating show?"
"Shh. Keep your voice down."
He glanced around. No one was paying attention, but he acted like he was already a top star.
"I struggled a lot because of you, honestly. But it's too good an opportunity to pass up. You wouldn't want me to throw away my future because of you, right?"
"…"
"I knew you'd understand. Anyway, this is the last time we can meet in public like this. And don't tell anyone. Unless you want to ruin my entire career."
That absurd statement almost made her laugh, from relief.
Good. I do have a way to ruin your life.
I was worried you might not go on the show this time.
What a stroke of luck.
"Then we can just break up."
"What? Don't say things like that. How could I ever break up with you? I only have you."
What's his angle?
He doesn't even like me anymore, so why cling?
Why lie with that sugar-coated voice?
"You're going with Minji?"
"How did you know?"
"The show pairs male and female friends. You're closest to Minji."
"And she's pretty. Her family's well-off. If I go with her, I can level up."
The implication was clear:
Haeyoung wasn't pretty enough.
Her family wasn't good enough.
"I see."
"Haeyoung, you're seriously the nicest. I thought you'd get mad, not at the show, but at me going with Minji. You don't like her."
"Why would I dislike her? I like Minji."
"Since when? Weird. Usually girls hate her out of jealousy."
Jealousy.
She wanted to laugh. It wasn't even worth responding.
"If I get some recognition through this, everything gets easier. I'll finally become an actor."
"Congratulations."
"Why do you sound so dead? Do you not want me to succeed?"
"Why would I not?"
"Then lend me some money."
There it was.
With no other source of cash, Jo Seongjun was finally asking openly.
"Again?"
"Again? Why do you say it like that? You think I'm some beggar?"
"What do you call it then? You asked last time too, said you were short on living expenses, so I gave you a million won."
He frowned.
"Seriously, you're being impossible. Anyway, how much can you lend? I need skincare before filming, a haircut, new clothes. You don't want me showing up on TV looking cheap, do you?"
"Did you deposit something with me?"
"What?"
"You're asking so confidently I wondered if you left something with me and I forgot."
He opened and closed his mouth, stunned.
"You told me to say whenever I needed help. You said it was an investment for your future."
Yes.
He had said that whenever she helped him, and she, trying not to hurt his ego, had played along.
Why had she given him money?
Why had she soothed him?
What had been so precious about him?
"Well, yeah. That's true. Anyway, don't you have any savings?"
"Do you know how expensive it is to prepare for auditions? And I can't go on national TV in cheap clothes."
"I don't have money."
"Your savings mature soon."
Anyone listening might think it was his savings.
"Fine. If you're going, you should shine the brightest."
"Really?"
His eyes softened instantly.
"I'll lend you everything from the maturity payout. Though it's not due yet."
"Haeyoung, you're the best. My baby."
He pouted in a cutesy way, as if touched.
Smile while you can.
Haeyoung smiled back sweetly.
"Of course. For my boyfriend? Anything."
His mood lifted dramatically.
He chatted more than usual, laughed more than usual, almost like the early days of their relationship.
For a moment, it felt peaceful.
But it never lasted long.
"Seongjun!"
The bell chimed as the door opened, and an uninvited guest appeared.
"You're fast! I'm still eating."
"Eating? That's not a meal. Are you having salad because of your diet?"
Minji plopped herself into the seat beside him and grabbed his fork, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth.
Her cheeks puffed slightly, she had such a small face.
"You didn't eat?"
She shook her head as she chewed.
"I did! But I'm hungry again. You know how much I eat! This is good!"
She even clapped happily. Then she finally seemed to notice Haeyoung.
"Oh, unnie! Sorry, I didn't even say hello. How have you been?"
"I invited her. She was passing by."
Seongjun finally gave an explanation.
This wasn't the first time.
Countless dates had ended with Minji joining them, and Haeyoung slipping away because she felt like a third wheel.
"Unnie, you look even prettier these days. You look like Yoon In-joo from that drama!"
"Yoon In-joo? I could sue you for spreading false information."
"No way! You're way prettier than her, your eyes are bigger, your nose is so perfect, totally like a princess! Right, unnie?"
Minji beamed at her.
In the past, when she didn't know better, such flattery would've made Haeyoung flustered and shy.
Not anymore.
"Thank you."
"Huh? Oh… yes."
Surprise flickered in Minji's eyes for a split second before disappearing.
Perhaps her usual conversational script wasn't working.
"You two are wearing your rings again today."
"Of course. They're our friendship rings. If he takes his off, he's dead."
When he first wore that ring, they had fought a lot.
In hindsight, she was the biggest fool for continuing to date him after that.
"Oh! Did he tell you? We're going on Love & Friendship."
"He told me."
"You allowed it?"
Minji grabbed her hand, soft and small.
"Unnie, you're so generous. How are you this nice? I could never allow it."
"Nice" sounded a lot like
How can you be such a pushover?
"For Seongjun, this is nothing."
"Wow… seriously. You're amazing. Then, since we're asking for things anyway, can I take Seongjun with me now? I have a lot to buy today. He'd be perfect to carry my bags."
Seongjun glanced nervously at Haeyoung.
Of course he did, he still needed to borrow her money.
"Of course. You must have a lot to prepare."
"Thank you! Sorry for taking him when you two were on a date."
As Seongjun stood to follow her, Minji cast a smile down toward Haeyoung—
a smile filled with unmistakable superiority, triumph, the belief that she was better.
All that confidence… just because you have Jo Seongjun?
How pitiful.
Haeyoung pretended not to notice and lifted her lips into a polite smile.
(End of Chapter 4)
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