The sunlight began to flood that hallway, dispelling the darkness around me.
I am truly the worst of idiots, much worse than that! I am someone who is creating something useless inside myself, something that, according to wisdom, only serves to make me suffer more.
There is no reason for me to be cultivating this, there is no fertile ground for it to grow. But still… I feel it growing in my chest, it's getting bigger and bigger. This was…
The will to fight! To be more, to be better. This was… this was… a foolish, inconvenient, deluded… and… hopeful… determination!!!
I got up, the three of them were no longer there, so I left and went on my way.
I will follow my routine, I will graduate from this place, I will no longer be a burden to my parents, I will do all this without being intimidated by those damned people! Even if I have to end up disappearing altogether!
At that moment I went to my class, without meeting any of them. They'll spend all these years looking for me, while I'll live peacefully until I graduate!
My determination surged for the first time; I've never had this kind of motivation before. But this will drive me to survive in this place! Or so I thought.
My determination died prematurely. It was barely born, and it was brutally crushed without mercy or warning.
As soon as I left the building and turned the corner, I came face to face with the two leaders of the groups that fought against Bruno.
Both of them were fallen, covered in blood and bruises. And the one who caused this was kneeling between them—it was Bruno, and in front of him, a crowd of people watched him, among them his leader.
I think I've never had such a harsh reality check. So dry, so direct, so… overwhelming!
My theory that someone up there is making a mockery of me has become a real possibility. And whoever that entity is, it has a very sadistic sense of humor.
I was handed over on a silver platter to my pursuers. Everything fell silent, it even seemed peaceful, terrifyingly peaceful.
Bruno was already looking at me, and his leader was doing the same. I can't read glances, but his look was pure, hateful rage. I don't know the origin of this feeling, but it seemed almost personal. How could someone who had never seen me hate me?
I couldn't move a muscle. I was completely immobile. The leader of that group was the first to move.
Taking a few slow steps, he approached me, and I didn't stay to see what would happen.
I ran as fast as I could. I knocked over trash cans along the way, and even jumped a fence to distance myself from them.
But nobody chased after me, they all looked at me. I had already created a good distance between us, but that didn't save me.
Their leader just ran and jumped onto the wall of one of the buildings, and ran along its side until he reached me.
He simply stopped in front of me, making all the effort I made to escape worthless.
Without a word, he looked deep into my eyes. I had never felt so afraid of a person before; he was much bigger than me, about 1.80 meters tall, and clearly stronger.
For the first time since I arrived here, I was in a conflict. My badge started beeping, and its counter transmitted a message that read "combat initiated."
His friends arrived as quickly as he did, all surrounding me. There was no way to run.
"You seem good at running away, is that all you know how to do?!" The leader said, approaching me. Before I could answer, he landed a punch in my stomach.
I felt the air leave my lungs, as if all the air had been expelled at once. It was the first time I'd received a direct hit; if the glancing blows were bad, imagine a direct hit.
I didn't have the strength to stay standing; the pain was unbearable and completely paralyzed me. I couldn't do anything else.
Everyone laughed at me while I felt all my wounds reopening.
Just as I had imagined, it only took one blow; I didn't withstand even one. I always knew I was fragile, but this is the first time I've had that fact so clearly visible on my face.
I can't resist in this world, I think you've been completely consumed.
"Already down? That was just a warning punch, even pathetic freshmen don't fall with just that!" He's right, I'm not resilient, that's never been one of my strengths. I know I won't last through anything they do.
If I really get branded, I could die from the pain during the process, or from bleeding after the wound. And that will be my end!
Even if I say that, they won't listen to me. They'll ignore everything and torture me until I give in, which will be quick.
But I wanted to at least stall as much as possible.
"Why are you so insistent on chasing me? I'm just an invisible freshman, nobody knows I exist. There's no reason for this!" I just asked something, maybe that way I could buy a little more time. But their leader didn't like that.
He kicks me in the shoulder, and suddenly I'm thrown high into the air. I was hovering in the air, I even felt quite calm, even knowing that the fall would destroy me, and that's what happened.
I hit my back violently on the ground, I don't know if something important broke, but I know I couldn't get up.
I groaned in pain, and it sounded like a joke to all those bullies. Everything was spinning, and the world didn't seem to make sense; my vision was blurry and hazy.
At that moment, I felt everything hurt; I knew I had completely broken myself in the fall.
I see him approaching, his eyes filled with rage, again showing a personal hatred.
I don't understand his feelings; we've never met before, but he still holds a grudge against me. He hates me so much that he makes it visible on his face.
Already close to me, he steps on my left shoulder; I feel his foot pressed against my body. The pain only made me scream louder; I couldn't hold back my voice.
The sensation of pain has always been my greatest tormentor, but this was the first time I felt it in this intensity.
"The first reason," he lifts his other foot off the ground and balances himself on my shoulder, "I want to build my supreme empire in the Holy War, but it would be foolish to fight against the strong veterans. It would take too long to even approach their level, and I wouldn't be sure they could win. So I decided to take the safer path.
"I would monopolize the bully, control each generation of newcomers. That way I will conquer the entire Holy War!"
So that was his plan? Hearing that, I simply couldn't control myself.
I know it might sound idiotic, especially considering my situation. But I couldn't resist, and I started laughing uncontrollably. It was possibly the most genuine laugh I'd let out in days.
His dry gaze stared at me indifferently, his friends were completely silent, only I was laughing.
I really couldn't resist, how could he say that without even laughing?
Is that his goal? He spoke like a true cartoon villain. My voice was the only one in the whole room. I know my punishment will be worse because of this, but I couldn't help it.
"What's so funny?"
He said seriously, and even got off my shoulder. I was catching my breath; that was quite a moment.
I finally managed to compose myself enough to speak.
"Sorry for laughing, but how could I not laugh at that? You sound like a bad villain from a children's story. And that caricatured way you talk, you sound like a villain from a Mexican soap opera. *Hahaha* How am I supposed to take you seriously?"
I know how stupid I'm being, but I can't hold back. If I'm going to get beaten up anyway, then I'll at least laugh a little.
Of course, he didn't like that. He stomped hard on my arm, I felt it break, I think this is when my torture begins.
"You dare to laugh in my face, but you're just weak. I don't need much to break you, and yet I think you can laugh in my face. You're pathetic, if you're going to laugh at someone, then at least make sure you can beat them!!!"
He starts stomping on my arm repeatedly. The sensation of bone breaking was all I felt, I didn't even scream, I couldn't, the air had already left my lungs.
"You are so weak, pathetic, filthy. I can't understand the reason… the reason Dalila got so close to your face! I've been trying to get close to her since I arrived here, how did a failed freshman manage to get her so close to his face, and even manage to get her to touch you! The way she behaved with you was the same way she behaved with the intimate people in your life. How dare you get so close?!"
I think I finally understand the personal anger directed at me.
The encounter with Dalila was the only good thing that happened to me here, and now I'm getting beaten like an idiot for it.
I think everything good that happens to me always comes with something bad to accompany it.
He continued to stomp on me and insult me, but suddenly he stopped. I didn't understand why.
Then I realized, his index finger ran across my forehead, and in a few seconds it turned red.
He discovered my condition! I see a smile appear on his face, one that gave me chills.
"You have that thing about drawing on your skin! So that means we can draw on your skin, right?" His friends approached, they knew exactly what they were going to do.
In a few minutes I was completely covered in scribbles, they even tore my shirt to draw all over my skin.
They didn't care about my injuries, they even ripped off my bandages to have more "space".
They left my body looking like the door of a public school bathroom.
The graffiti was full of insults of all kinds, including virgin, whore, prostitute, son of a bitch, virgin, sperm storage, milk drinker, faggot, dickhead, bastard, and many others.
They also made sure to draw several phallic symbols around my body, one on my lower back bordering my waist, and another on my cheek, with the head of the penis above my mouth.
I've suffered enough bullying, but this was too much! I've never been so humiliated in my entire life, and the worst part is that the humiliation has only just begun.
I know they're going to show me off to everyone, take pictures, and remind me of this every day of my life.
I've hit rock bottom, but I know I can go even lower. Now, the next eight years will be pure humiliation, if I can endure it all.
They were laughing as they continued to scribble on my body. "That's enough!" Their leader gives the order, and everyone moves away from me.
If I were a little more hopeful, I would see this as a moment of relief, but I know that something very bad is about to happen.
"We've had enough fun, now let's finish this quickly! I can't stand seeing that idiot's face anymore, so you can disfigure him, but first… grab an iron plate, it can be the one that says 'shit'."
Soon one of his henchmen approached me with an iron bar shaped like the word "shit".
"You can put it on your chest, it doesn't matter where." Then he placed the bar on my chest, I felt the cold metal on my skin, it was uncomfortable, but I knew worse was coming.
Their leader pulled out a blowtorch, I don't even know how they have something like that, but it was obvious what they were going to do.
Approaching me, the leader didn't think twice before turning on the blowtorch and starting to heat the plate.
I felt the cold sensation of the iron being replaced by a hot sensation.
My skin was slowly being burned, and agony was all I could feel.
I've never felt so much pain before. My body writhed, but they held me down to keep me still.
The bar was right on top of the wound on my chest, which made everything worse.
I wasn't just screaming in pain, I was crying my eyes out. I couldn't hold back the tears; the whole situation was horrible for me.
They laughed at my crying, even spitting and stomping on my face with the soles of their shoes, which were dirty with animal dung.
I no longer had the strength for anything; this was the worst moment of my short life. I couldn't struggle anymore; I lost all my strength.
Now I see something: the universe never cares about me. This is going to be my end. All my wounds are reopening; the pain is unbearable.
I see her getting closer and closer, closer and closer to me. It's strange how much peace you feel… when you're so close to death.
I stopped moving completely; my body became so cold, and even my heart slowed down. I was steps away from death.
"Boss, I think he's dead!"
One of his friends says to me, poking me with a stick.
"Impossible! The Crest didn't activate, he must have just fainted!"
He looked at me, his eyes wide with surprise. Soon everyone was moving away from my body.
"He's not dead yet, but he's almost there! Brasão must have thought he was asleep, but what's happening is a collapse from the amount of pain. He couldn't take it anymore, so his mind froze and he completely shut down. It won't be long before he dies!"
Everyone was shocked. Some seemed remorseful, others just worried.
But everyone was scared.
"What are we going to do, boss?"
"We're all screwed!"
"Everyone knows what happens to those who kill in Santa Guerra."
They were quite desperate. I'd heard that killing in Santa Guerra was an unforgivable crime, and the punishments were severe, but I didn't know what it was.
Even though I couldn't move, I was still somewhat conscious, but things were already starting to get confusing.
My mind slowly began to fade, and I was already losing consciousness; soon I would pass out and probably die.
"Everyone stay away from him. The High Guard didn't know he was dying. If anyone hurts him, the High Guard might consider him dead, and then the administration will come after us. And if there's one thing I definitely don't want, it's trouble with the High Guard. Let's go and pretend this kid never existed."
And so they obeyed, leaving as quickly as they had arrived.
With them gone, I was completely alone, with no one to torment me, but also no one to help me.
My mind was already fading, even though I tried to stay awake. I was losing strength watching the blood spread across the floor.
What could I do? I have no way to ask for help, and if I get out of this alive, I'll be hunted again.
I had no idea anymore; now I could only accept it. I'm going to die in some random alley. I didn't think my death would be legendary, but this is humiliating!
Imagine being buried with this ridiculous penis drawing on my face. When someone finds my corpse, will they laugh at the drawings and insults on my body?
Well, I'm just rambling, I want to keep my mind working as long as possible.
I always thought I'd see my life flashing before my eyes, but all I see is the dirty ground I'm going to die on.
It's frustrating, I'm going to die, and I still don't know what a kiss feels like. The world has denied me all the good experiences that exist.
That was the last lucid moment I had, everything went black, I completely lost feeling in my body.
My mind went completely blank, I didn't like to admit it, but it's over. I wish I could fight, if I could have one last wish… I wish I could fight.
All the bad things in my life were things I had to accept, I had no other choice, I'm tired of this, I'm tired of living the life that was forced on me! I wish I could, at least once in my life… I wish I could fight.