7. May I kiss you?
"I am looking at you. Is that enough now?"
"Yeah."
Dalton smiled faintly. That smile looked sad rather than playful. Ever since he knew the one-sided fact that I was dying, he had been acting listlessly.
Even if we are nothing to each other, is the fact that someone is dying a sad fact after all? Even to the libertine Dalton Racers?
Archmage Dalton, who seemed like he would be more aloof about death than anyone else. I was curious how he thought about death.
The time our gazes crossed grew longer. Dalton's tenacious gaze was not leaving me.
"Dalton. Do you have something to say to me?"
He answered as if he had been waiting.
"This kind of request. It might be very out of the blue, but."
"...."
"May I kiss you?"
May I kiss you. Just as he said, it was a truly out-of-the-blue proposal.
It was out of the blue, but he also seemed to ask it too nonchalantly. After blinking slowly a couple of times, I answered him.
"Don't experts usually do that without asking?"
He snorted small and tilted his head toward me. He must have also realized that my words contained the meaning of consent.
I naturally closed my eyes and waited for his lips to touch mine. There was no reason for me to refuse his kiss. I had already made up my mind to become a libertine. Since I was dying soon, I had no intention of stopping a man approaching me.
What I wish for is to spend the few remaining days of my life specially. If I were to die tomorrow, to leave something monumental to remember today specially.
A kiss with Dalton was something monumental to remember today specially.
Of course, I thought of Arwin briefly. But Arwin wouldn't mind the fact that I kissed Dalton.
That's what unrequited love is. The other person doesn't take interest in anything about me. I was the only one taking interest in the other person.
My thoughts did not continue further. Because Dalton's lips completely touched mine. His lips, touching softly, were hotter than Arwin's lips. He blew his hot breath into me endlessly.
His kiss, which I thought would be soft, was rougher than I expected. Dalton dug into my lips as if craving something more than that. Is that a craving for the next step?
Does he, like other men, also want to take off my dress and bury his face in my chest?
But to say that, his kiss felt somehow sorrowful. I couldn't know why I felt that way.
As the kiss deepened, our bodies adhered closer and closer. He wrapped around my back with his ten fingers, which were hotter than his lips. His heat touching me was overwhelming.
At that moment, I felt something wet near my lips. I gently pulled my lips away and looked at his face. I saw the corners of his eyes glistening.
It was the trace of tears.
"...Are you crying?"
That phrase was the one I heard the most recently. To think I am asking that question to another person. Somehow, it was a strange feeling.
Dalton rubbed the corners of his eyes.
"A man's tears are unsightly, aren't they?"
"Not at all."
"...."
"Why did you cry?"
"...Ever since I saw your face looking like you would die soon, I thought of someone else."
Dalton spoke as if confessing. Only then was my trivial curiosity resolved. Why he had been acting listlessly since knowing the fact that I would soon perish.
"Who is that person?"
I thought he wouldn't answer, but Dalton answered readily.
"A person I loved in the past. She also had a face looking like she would die soon. Then eventually, she really died. I am an Archmage, and I can recall a forgotten season, but I couldn't save her who had died. For a mage, human life and death are irreversible."
Dalton's lips, which had been touching mine softly until just a moment ago, were trembling minutely.
"If you get to know, I might be the most incompetent mage in the world. Since I have never succeeded in the magic I truly wanted."
Dalton let out a long sigh. He carefully held my hand with his hand, which had turned pale.
"I'm sorry. For kissing you while thinking of another person. Because I kept thinking of that person.... I tried to kiss you."
"It's okay."
I answered coolly like Dalton. Because I also thought of Arwin while kissing you.
Our relationship wasn't deep enough to feel sorry about such a fact and apologize. It was to the extent that it wouldn't be strange even if we suddenly pretended not to know each other tomorrow. We had no significant bond.
"Dalton."
"Hm?"
"Will such a person appear for me too?"
"What do you mean?"
"Even after I die, will someone shed tears thinking of me?"
I silently recalled Arwin.
How nice would it be if he remembered me occasionally in a world where I disappeared. Since that was such a dream-like thing, it wasn't even easy to wish for.
Dalton, unable to hide the sad look that appeared on his face, stroked the back of my hand gently.
"My heart aches. I will shed tears thinking of you often."
"Thank you."
I couldn't gauge well whether his words were sincere. But leaving aside the authenticity, I was satisfied with the fact that he said such words.
Even if he doesn't shed tears, Dalton will recall me often. He will remember the kiss he shared with me.
What does it feel like for someone to recall me in a world where I disappeared? I couldn't easily guess that feeling.
Dalton parted his lips to say more words, but just in time, the carriage stopped. As the carriage stopped, he closed his slightly parted lips again and smiled a pretty smile.
"We're here."
Dalton got off the carriage first and helped me get off. Then, I really felt like I became a young lady of a noble family.
Wouldn't it be okay to act like a daughter of a powerful family for just today? I was going to wear a mask anyway, and then no one would notice my identity. Of course, except for Dalton.
"Have you ever been to a masquerade ball, Dalton?"
I asked him as I got completely off the carriage. He wasn't letting go of the hand he held for the escort.
Although the traces of tears had disappeared from his face, his hand was still hot. As if proving that he hadn't swallowed all of his hot emotions yet.
"No. Balls aren't my taste."
"I thought you would enjoy balls immensely."
Dalton was a man with a flashy face and debauchery. It wasn't strange for such a him to dominate flashy balls. When I tilted my head in puzzlement, Dalton laid out the reason.
"It's about unpredictability."
"Pardon?"
"When talking to the opposite sex, if you discover the other person's unpredictability, you feel attraction."
"Hmm. For instance, when Dalton, who looks like he would suit a ball to anyone, says he doesn't enjoy balls—is it like the unpredictability I felt?"
"Correct. Iphoe, didn't you surely feel it too? 'To think such an excellent man doesn't enjoy balls!' Something like this. This is a skill with which a libertine... no, a lecher pulls women's hearts."
"...."
"Of course, I don't need such a skill though."
Since I have the face and ability. He added as if talking to himself.
It was a bit funny that the reason for not enjoying balls was also a reason related to debauchery.
I smiled awkwardly and nodded my head.
In fact, I didn't feel up to 'To think such an excellent man doesn't enjoy balls!' as Dalton said. However, it was a smile worn with the thought that it was a relief he joked as usual.
Somehow, there is a sense that a sad face doesn't suit Dalton. It is hard to see him making a face that doesn't suit him. My heart also aches.
I was sad because I felt like I knew with what feeling he would recall the person he loved. I didn't want to shed tears, at least for today.
"Good, then shall we go in now?"
Dalton shrugged his shoulders small and said.
"Yes, let's."
"What is the thing Iphoe wants to do most at the ball?"
"I don't wish for anything big. I just want to become a noble young lady with a comfortable heart for just today. So that I don't think of the broom left behind at the Marquis's residence."
"I know that broom too."
Dalton giggled. I didn't say anything funny.
He even tapped my head a couple of times with his empty hand.
"You won't think of it."
Strangely, I had a premonition that it would be as he said.
Did Dalton cast magic on me or something?
Dalton wore a flashy mask that strongly exuded the spirit of a tiger.
He showed his eyes, which were flashier than his mask, to those guarding the ball. Then, we were able to enter the ball more easily than anyone else.
His odd eyes were so famous that no one doubted his status. Even me, his companion. It was as if my status was perfectly guaranteed by his single pair of eyes.
I realize anew that he is a famous mage. Should I give him a thumbs up?
As soon as we entered the ball, Dalton disappeared somewhere early, saying he would enjoy debauchery. I didn't stop him. Him enjoying debauchery was his freedom.
Left alone, I carefully adjusted the mask plastered with pink feathers and looked around.
There were really so many nobles that they couldn't be counted. Pleasant music flowed in the hall, and the scents of unknown perfumes mixed and mixed around, distressing the tip of my nose.
I came ambitiously to enjoy the masquerade ball, but now that I'm actually here, I couldn't gauge well how to enjoy it. Because it was my first time at a big banquet.
As I stood awkwardly drinking wine brought by some maid, men approached sporadically and talked to me. I conversed by clumsily imitating the elegant gestures, movements, and laughter of noble young ladies I had seen somewhere.
Honestly, it wasn't that fun.
Male nobles were prone to approaching with secret demands, and female nobles didn't even talk to me, the same gender. Rather, they only sent wary glances a few times.
The atmosphere of the ball I thought of wasn't like this.
But that didn't mean I regretted coming here. Even if it wasn't fun, I had come to a place I couldn't come to even once in my life. I was satisfied with the fact that I had a special experience.
Just as I was looking around thinking of finding Dalton since I couldn't endure the boredom. Suddenly, I felt the nerves of my whole body standing on end. That was a result brought by the excessive secretion of hormones.
I felt the air becoming thin again. This time, it wasn't a feeling cast by the shadow of death.
Because he was seen. Because I saw a man wearing a black mask with no pattern.
Although he was wearing a mask that covered almost all of his face, I could recognize who he was at once.
"Arwin."
I called his name in a small voice that wouldn't reach him. Why did he, who doesn't suit a place like this at all, come all the way here?
I know I shouldn't, but I walked close to Arwin. I thought there was no way he would recognize me since I wore a flashy dress and even a mask today.
As I approached close enough for my voice to reach, Arwin was seen in more detail.
Although he hadn't dressed up stylishly on purpose, it seemed only his surroundings were shining. Is it an illusion created as part of my rose-colored glasses?
When I was stealing a glance at him carefully, Arwin's head turned toward me. He turned his head to where I was standing and parted his lips.
Arwin's voice, void of fluctuation, rang out.
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