As I got older, I was granted a little more freedom. Mainly, I helped my mother with our crops and the few livestock we had. We owned five sheep and a coop of chickens. In the mornings, we would take them out to the fields where they could graze for the day.
I helped my mother watch over them to ensure they weren't stolen or claimed by hungry wolves. I learned quickly that life in this land called Norland was pretty harsh.
Our village was buried in snow for half the year. Your breath would freeze in mid-air, and anything less than three furs would mean losing a limb to frostbite.
The summers weren't any better. During this time, all the rivers would dry up, and we were forced to drink the warm blood of wild animals to quench our thirst. Summer lasted for three months, as did spring, the only time that granted us a sliver of peace.
In the blazing summer heat, I sat in the grassy fields watching the sheep nibble on dry grass. It had been five years since I was reborn.
My mother was sick today, as she often was. She was plagued by cold sweats and stomach pains. She would often refer to her ailment as a curse and would always praise the gods that, unlike my aunt Runa, I wasn't afflicted.
It was a family affliction, one that she inherited from her mother, who also got it from her mother. This supposed curse caused her to be bedridden most days. It took the joint effort of me and Runa to force her to stay home and rest.
It felt as if time couldn't move any slower. I desperately wanted to grow up faster so I could help more, allowing her to work less.
Runa sat beside me in the grassy fields, biting her nails. It was something she always did when she was anxious. Her eyes were locked on the forest's edge, not sparing the sheep a glance.
"Everything alright, Runa?"
"Hmm?" She gave me a startled look. "Of course it is! I'm here with my favorite nephew, after all."
A mischievous smile crossed her face as she lunged at me and wrapped her arms around my neck, putting me in a chokehold. I immediately began tapping on her arm so she would let me go.
"Oh! Giving up already?" she mocked. "You're a man, Sigurd; you shouldn't tap out that easily—especially to a woman. At least fight back!"
Woman? What woman?
"Cough cough… I'm five years old! I'm not man enough to fight against a gorilla like you!"
Her grip tightened.
"A gorilla, huh? Now I definitely won't let go. Your first lesson will be on how to properly address a fair maiden."
There was nothing fair about her. In fact, she was the least fair girl I'd ever met. This was only the beginning; we spent the next couple of minutes wrestling in the grass. I imagined our laughter could be heard from miles away, but we didn't care. I tried everything to escape her grasp but failed. She didn't hesitate to use her size against me.
What could a five-year-old do against someone who was fifteen years older? Eventually, she managed to pin me down in the grass by sitting on top of me and cuffing both my hands together.
Looking down at me, a smug smile crossed her annoyingly beautiful face.
Our joy was soon interrupted as a shadow loomed over us.
"You two look to be having fun," a voice spoke. "But isn't he a bit young for that?"
Runa turned around to see who it was and immediately frowned.
"Floki," she said, scorn evident on her face. "What are you doing here? Leave us be."
Floki ignored her and continued with his jest.
"You know, people talk when they see things like this. A woman straddling a child... looks bad."
Runa shot to her feet, her fists balled. Her annoyance immediately turned to anger.
"The child doesn't need to hear your filth or smell it. Leave us be!"
This wasn't the first time Floki had approached her; it happened constantly ever since Runa had come of age.
"Marry me," he said, his tone sounding more like an order than a proposal. "I've just bought some new land. I'll put a baby in you, and we can raise a family together."
Runa snorted and crossed her arms.
"I would rather marry a pig because at least it would smell better."
Floki pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, and then plopped himself down on the grass beside me.
"Having fun with your aunt?" he asked, draping his arm over my shoulders.
That was the exact moment I noticed the dagger fastened to his waist. I clammed up and could only give a small nod to his question. I glanced up at Runa to see she was as pale as a ghost. Runa froze in place as if she was scared to move an inch.
"That's good!" Floki continued, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "You know, I happen to be very good friends with your father."
"Y-You know my father?" I asked, barely stammering out the words.
"Yes, Dag and I go way back," Floki laughed, even though I hadn't said anything particularly funny. He leaned in to whisper something, and that's when I caught the whiff of something strong... alcohol. "Hey, tell you what, how would you like to spend the day with your uncle Floki since we're going to be family and all?"
My breath hitched; I was scared to breathe. It felt as if I was resting in the jaws of a dangerous predator.
"Are you drunk?!" Runa asked, nervously looking at Floki's arm wrapped around my neck. "If you want to talk, let's go somewhere else," she suggested.
Floki smiled at her. His hand slowly tightened around my neck, making it increasingly harder for me to breathe.
"I am done talking. That matter between us is over now, is it not? Or is there something else you wanted to say about it?"
A flash of anger crossed Runa's face as she balled her fists and bit her lip. Floki's taunts were getting to her.
"Yes, that's what I want to talk to you about, our marriage." It was a struggle for her to get the words out, but she did it all for my sake. "The child doesn't need to hear this, so let's go somewhere else, just the two of us."
Floki's lips curved into a smile, his hand slowly tracing down my shoulder until it stopped at my wrist.
"No, I'm no longer interested in speaking to you about that."
"W-what?!"
Floki removed his hand from me and rested it on his dagger.
"You betrayed me," he said in a voice intended to sound hurt. "I don't think I can trust you anymore."
Runa was getting more desperate; she noticed every silent threat Floki was making. Every time she looked at me, her panic rose more, and I was powerless to do anything about it.
I wanted to help her, but I was too afraid to act. It was frightening; after dying once before, I didn't think that anything could scare me, but here I was, shaking like a coward.
She stepped closer to him; it was the first time she had moved.
"What do you want me to do to prove that you can trust me?"
"Give yourself to me."
Runa gulped; she spared me a glance, and I could tell she had made up her mind. Her voice lowered to but a whisper.
"Okay, the two of us can go—"
"No, we'll stay right here."
I watched Runa switch places with me on the grass beside Floki. I observed her face as she smiled at me, assuring me that everything would be alright as she caressed my head. I saw the tears welling up in her eyes before she quickly wiped them away.
"Go home now, Sigurd. You don't have to worry about the sheep; I'll watch them," she said, speaking as she normally did, as if nothing was happening.
I couldn't even bear to look at her; I held my head down as I walked away.
Runa was… she was my family. I had died once before, not knowing what it felt like to be loved, but because of her and my mother, I finally experienced it.
I had died for nothing before, but Runa's life wasn't nothing, her happiness wasn't nothing. It was everything; she was special to me. Even if it meant being killed, I had to protect her.
Floki's pants fell to his ankles, and the sound was like an ignition, forcing me to act.
I charged at him, screaming like a child. He turned around and swung at me with his dagger, but in his drunken state, he only managed to trip over his own pants.
I wasted no time and went for the dagger still in his grasp by sinking my teeth into his hand. I tasted the metallic flavor of his blood and sunk my teeth deeper.
His hand pounded against my head, trying to get me off him, but I refused to let go, sinking my teeth even deeper as he struggled. I latched onto him like a leech, swearing that I wouldn't let go no matter how hard he hit me.
But my resolve crumbled with a shocking blow to the stomach that left me gasping for air. He pried his hand from my mouth, raising his dagger to deliver the final blow.
Rana's screams pieced my ears and for a second, I thought it would be the last thing I ever heard. At that moment, my own life felt precious.
I knew I couldn't allow myself to be killed. Caught in the madness of the moment, I grabbed hold of his manhood, and just like picking apples from a tree, I twisted it with every ounce of force I could muster.
A loud, blood-curdling scream escaped his lips, and that's when the dagger slipped from his grasp. Madness took over me, and when I finally came to my senses, I was covered in blood.