Evan walked along the shopping street. It was wide and filled with all kinds of hustle and bustle. He passed clothing stores, toy shops, banks, vegan restaurants, and a garden center. In his backpack, he carried today's purchases. He turned into a side alley to take a shortcut back to the dorm. Morona had informed him they would have a guest. He didn't want to be late.
Here, everything was completely different. The alley was much narrower, with many branching paths leading to the backs of shops and courtyards. At the beginning of the alley stood a store with culinary accessories. In the window, four steel spits leaned against a rack. Next to them was a photo of a steel grill. For a moment, his gaze lingered on them. He remembered how Frida kept teasing him, threatening him with a spit. These were really well-made. He started wondering how she would do it. He felt a rush of excitement, but quickly shook his head to chase the thought from his mind.
On a raised platform stood a huge cauldron. In front of it was an enormous roasting pan. There was also a collection of massive knives. He smiled when he imagined those knives in the girls' hands, ready to carve him up. From inside the shop came the sound of hammering metal. That sobered him up.
On the window glass was the sign: "Metalwork Studio. Handcrafted equipment for meat kitchens, made to order. And not only meat kitchens."
Evan paused for a moment in front of the display. He looked at the spits and recalled the incident at the club. He had to admit they had roasted him well. When he saw the photos afterward, he had to admit he looked appetizing. He shook his head. Those weren't good customers.
When he looked at the roasting pan, he remembered his first date with Callisa. Afterward, she had said his own sauce was wonderful. A question flashed through his mind: "If the sauce is wonderful, what does his meat taste like?" He fantasized about that date again, this time all the way to the end. Then he shook his head once more. It shouldn't be like this. The girls should catch him making some mistake—he shouldn't be jumping onto their plates himself.
When he looked at the large pot, he remembered Aiko's words about ramen. No one had tried cooking him that way yet. He was curious how well such a big pot would suit him. He only shuddered when he looked at the collection of knives—not because of their sharp gleam, but because of the price tag next to them. The knives were hand-forged Damascus steel. Their price was very high. Just like everything else in the display.
He walked on. A spice shop. The window said they had spices from all over the world, and if they didn't have something, they could order it. The intensity of the smells combined with the visible spices caused a pleasant tickle in the nose. Evan looked at his own hand. He had always associated meat with herbs, but he had never thought about other spices. He wondered which ones should be used. What spices would suit him. He considered going in, but they still had a decent stock of spices at home. He left it for another time.
Next was a restaurant. It looked luxurious. A sign next to the premises announced that they also cooked brought-in meat, provided it was still alive. Private events were also possible. That idea rattled around in Evan's head. A private event with him… on a plate… although, maybe not like that… perhaps a cozy home setting would be better.
Opposite the restaurant were two shops. A taxidermy workshop with the motto "The Last Moment, Preserved Forever." Next to it, a hunting store with a collection of gear on display and the motto "Don't Let Your Prey Escape."
On the empty walls were advertisements: "Certified Butcher for Hire," "Hunting Training for Amateurs," and information about a culinary festival.
Evan walked along, absorbing it all like a child on a trip to an amusement park. He imagined Frida hunting him. At least until he felt a sudden yank. He didn't even have time to realize when he was grabbed or how hard he was pulled.
Then he felt himself slammed back-first against the wall.
"-What the hell are you doing?"
Four people stood in front of him. Three in the back. One was holding him by his hoodie. In the back: a male ram, a female goat, and a male rabbit. The one holding him was also a rabbit.
"What do you want?" he asked, surprised and slightly uneasy.
"We're carving you up."
All the tension instantly vanished.
"Here? This isn't a good spot. There's dust and dirt everywhere."
"I assure you, this is a good spot."
He showed him a clenched fist.
"You don't even have a knife. How exactly do you plan to carve me up?"
He made a surprised face.
"Besides, meat would probably disagree with you."
Shock appeared on the rabbit's face. The goat spoke up.
"You idiot. 'Carving' means we're robbing you!"
"Exactly—hand over the cash and the phone, loser, or we'll beat you like a pork chop."
Evan tilted his head in confusion.
"You're herbivores. Meat would disagree with you."
The rabbit narrowed his eyes.
"Listen carefully, loser! We've got a score to settle with Frida! So we're carving you up to get back at her! Got it!? Or do I need to explain it with a kick?!"
He glanced at the rabbit's thighs.
"You've got some nice thighs."
The rabbit trembled but didn't let go.
"What the… are you some kind of fag!?"
"Your thighs would work great for ragout. Long-simmered…"
The whole gang shuddered.
"And what about me, meat-lover? Do you like meatballs?"
Evan looked at him. He thought for a second.
"Not a bad idea, but you'd be much better whole. On a spit… lots of spices and butter…"
"SHUT UP!!!"
The ram fearfully covered his rear and groaned.
"Boss, there's something seriously wrong with him."
The goat spoke up.
"Total psycho! Let's get out of here!"
The rabbit looked once at his gang, once at Evan. Evan, meanwhile, kept studying them with his eyes. He looked at the goat.
"Stew, or maybe curry. That would be more exotic. Goat meat takes spices really well."
The goat backed away, squealing in fear.
"Calm down, it's just one guy."
The rabbit boss shouted, but froze when he heard Evan's next suggestion.
"Maybe rabbit roast. Two on one plate. Definitely with carrots."
The second rabbit hid behind the ram. He was completely shaking. The boss, however, exploded with rage.
"Fuck your shitty cash and phone. I'm just gonna smash your face in."
Suddenly Evan's expression changed.
"Don't pretend you see something behind me! That's an old trick!"
He didn't know how wrong he was. From behind them came a dark voice that sounded like the gates of the underworld opening.
"Those who harbor unknown desires. Those who are ashamed of their weakness. Those who know no language other than the language of fire. Wind, earth, and water are foreign to them. In their faith they stand high above others. They are unaware of their own smallness."
The two rabbits, the goat, and the ram felt themselves starting to sweat. They slowly turned their heads. In rhythm with what sounded like the opening and closing of scissors belonging to a horror movie killer. When they turned around, their gaze traveled upward. A huge praying mantis towered over them like an executioner over a victim.
"Morona."
The boss swallowed hard.
"Is that your friend?"
The claws slammed loudly. Teeth glistened in the sunlight.
"Torment stretched across soul and mortal flesh…"
"WE'RE GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!"
"Another crazy bitch!"
"Just not the spit! I'm not a fag!"
They didn't let her finish. They bolted. They abandoned their image as dangerous street predators in order to save their precious lives. And, in their opinion, the inviolability of their asses.
Morona snorted and turned to Evan.
"Has the defilement flowed past you like a river flows around a tree placed on a high cliff?"
"I'm fine, Morona."
He sighed.
"What a bunch of weirdos. They talk so much about meat, but when I compliment them, they act like lunatics."
"You cannot fill a barrel using an empty bucket."
"Yeah, true. Let's go home."
Morona nodded. They moved forward. The mantis watched the boy with concern. For some reason, she felt that something might be wrong.
The two rabbits, the goat, and the ram panted in a dingy alleyway. The boss couldn't understand what had just happened. It was supposed to be a simple mugging. And yet…
"Did someone take something?!"
Everyone shook their heads.
So it wasn't a bad trip? Then what the fuck was that? Wait… there's a more serious problem…
"Are they chasing us?"
The goat peeked around the corner.
"They don't give a shit about us. They're leaving."
The boss stuck his head out and saw the pair walking away.
"No one has ever humiliated me like that. I'm not letting this slide. Even if I end up in a display case."