1st POV:
*30 years ago*
today is the day, just 30 more years and ill be free from these chains.
i teleport to fords location and go into his mind, time to play the part.
3rd POV:
Ford is sleeping under a tree. The knots on the trees become "Bill" eyes and the rest of the background fades into abstraction. Journals and pages are floating about randomly. Ford gets up and walks around.
"Bill" comes up behind him and says, "Hiya, smart guy!" and Circles around him. "Woah, don't have a heart attack, you're not ninety-two yet!"
"Who are you?" asks Ford warily
"Name's Bill! And your name's Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world, but I'm getting ahead of ourselves; let's relax! Care for a game of interdimensional chess?" says "Bill" as he conjures a Chessboard. He then conjures a teapot and says, "Have a cup of tea" and pours tea into a teacup.
1st POV:
Let's see, I'm a muse, he's brilliant, blah blah blah, could they suck his dick any less?
"I am a muse, and I chose one brilliant mind a century to inspire, Lucky you, cause you are chosen", I said as I continued to flatter him and tell him how lucky he was.
After I was done with flattering him, I said "And now we get to the most important part of our conversation"
"Which is?" he asked immediately, impatient much?
"the deal, I'm obligated to make a deal with you, for me to be your muse and friend I need to make a deal with you otherwise my hands are tied and I can't really help with anything" I said, bullshitting my way through the conversation. Couldn't he give a more detailed script to me? so I don't have to pull most of this stuff out of my ass.
"so I have to sign a contract with you?" he asked me getting a little suspicious.
"no all you have to do is shake my hand and we'll be good ol partners, I'll help you, you help me" of course, I'm not giving you a contract to sign I don't want to be your friend or help you for real, I said as I made my hand covered with blue fire.
"deal" he said as he shook my hand.
smart my ass, just shakes hands with supernatural entities not knowing if he's selling his soul.
=====a bunch of years later=====
"Bill! You lied to me! Where does that portal really lead?" Oh he's pissed, that's good comedy material, I'll replay this when I get my break in a little.
"Hoho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart! Let's just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is gonna learn how to party!" This cartoony evil shtick is cring af, I started showing him an illusion of these freaks he gave me, "Right, guys?" I made them Roar and cackle before turning to Ford.
"No! I'll stop you! I'll SHUT IT DOWN!" he yelled at me, sure you puny human could've stopped me if I actually gave a shit.
"A deal's a deal, Sixer! You can't stop the bridge between our worlds from coming, but it would be fun to watch you try! Cute even!" no it wouldn't, can't belive I have to lose to an idiot like you and a bunch of KIDS, was he on crack when he came up with this? i said as I let go of his mind and let him wake up.
i went back to the nightmare realm, turned into my humanoid form and sat down on my couch started my interdimensional tv and switched between a couple of channels before deciding to watch WHEN WOLF.
(A/N: humanoid form image)
a couple minutes later I felt an intruder trying to come in and I let him in, without even looking at him I asked "the fuck you want?"
as per usual, no answer "Look, I acted exactly like your script said, what more do you want from me?"
"YOU FAKED YOUR HENCHMAN" he said in his creepy deep voice.
"I don't NEEDTHEM, I faked them because I don't want to go around the multiverse and gather a bunch of useless freaks" Im starting to get pissed off, this guy isn't good for my mental health, ok deeeeeep breaths, you cant breath but its ok, its the thought that counts "look, as long your script is played in the way it was written, and the results end up the same i don't give a shit about how its done"
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IF YOU AT LEAST GOT THE HENCHMAN, YOU WOULDN'T BE SO ALONE, THE PLAY WOULD ALSO LOOK MORE AUTHENTIC"
"*sigh* Look, I like being ALONE, so you begin here is starting to piss meoff, also about it being authentic, look there" I pointed at a random spot.
"SO?" he looked and asked, confused
"That area right there is my field whereich I grow my fucks, as you can see it is BARREN, so fuck off" I said as I kicked him out of the realm.
*sigh* I started to relax before feeling another intrusion, feeling its not him I turned into my cartoony triangle shape again, seriously, what the fuck is it with everyone today.
i allowed the intruder in, ohh.
"what do you want?" I said as I rubbed my one eye, this shit is seriously uncomfortable.
"hi, i uhm am here for the century r-report" she said, fidgeting in place.
"and?" i asked tired.
"right, well the media operation is going well, the production operation is at an all time peak, faction is at the peak of it influence, ..." she started listing of, still looking scared.
"get to the thing you're here for, i assume you didn't come here personally just for this since you usually email me?" i said, getting impatient.
"yes well, you have a visitor, ..." she started getting even more nervous.
"what visitor?" i asked confused, I'm not a doctor i don't get visitors.
"a time traveler here to see you specifically"
a time traveler? "alright ill see this fellow now you can summon him or her and get back to your duties"
she bowed and summoned another beign which i allowed in and ...
Well well well, if it isn't "pinetree, what can i do you for?" i said as my servant teleported away scared.
"hello bill" he said as he dusted his coat
"hmm, you're from after the summer yeah? watchu doing here boy?"
"yeah ..."
"well? Talk pipsqueak, i don't have eternity, oh wait a sec i have, its just that i don't like your company"
"*sigh*I need a favor ... a deal"
"before you say anything how old are you exactly?, your body's 21 but your soul is older, and younger? what the fuck did you do?" i said interested for a second before it passed and i was answered by my powers.
"I'm 21" he said in a hurry, looking nervous.
"calm down i don't give a shit, anyway I'm not interested in a deal with you-" i was saying before he interrupted me and said "you lose, we win, so-" i cut him of this time and laughed, a real laugh escaped me.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, how long has it been since i laughed, i have to thank you for being such an idiot it was truly amusing. look little boy I'm independent of time, just because you traveled back in time doesn't mean I'm affected, i know the feature, the past, and the present, i know EVERYTHING, so trust me when i say i don't need knowledge of the future cause i already know, now I'm sorry not sorry but you are banned from time travel" i said as i made him unable to time travel and sent him to his time
"wai---" he tried to say before disappearing.
what an idiot XD.
=====present day=====
Via opened her eyes to see a sky full of stars, planets and celestial bodies, she turned to her side only to see me staring at herlying down on her bed.
*kyaaaaaa* she screamed as she fell out of bed before getting up
"wasssuupp" i said with a smile on my face.
"what are you doing?!" she asked me, expecting to explain myself.
"what? you fell asleep without telling me where I'm supposed to sleep, so i slept on your bed besides I'm not even in the same dimension as you so there's nothing to be embarrassed about" i explained as i hovered above her bed an came near her.
"soooo whats your schedule like?" i asked curious
"i uh nothing in particular?" she said confused
"no demonic royal academy?"
"no? what? why would there be an academy, my parents got tutors for my education" she said as she went towards her bathroom
i followed her as i hovered and said "its a cliche you know, if there is a place that has demons there's bound to be an academy down the line"
she looked at me in surprise and said "well we don't have an academy, the closest thing would be school for lower class demons, and that's just to teach them how to do their jobs" she said as she picked her toothbrush, which doesn't make sense she doesn't have teeth, or does she? and started polishing her beak before looking at me and said "why are you here?"
"what do you mean?" i asked
"I'm going to use the bathroom why are you in here" she looked at me annoyed
"you know I'm bound to you right? i cant move very far away from you"
"what?! you didn't tell me that!" she said as she thought about it and started blushing
how cute.
"oh sorry didn't come to mind, you didn't ask" i said as i smiled "besides its gonna be fun, you aren't going to be alone anymore, I'm gonna be here ALL. THE. TIME. I'm gonna be there when you give birth, I'm gonna be there when you get sick of everybody and commit genocide in your insanity" to say she looked anything but horrified would be a lie "pftt I'm kidding, kidding i can move away from you i was messing with you" i said as i slapped her shoulder she looked better already.
she sighed as she said "oh thank satan"
"don't thank him, you can thank me" i said smiling
she started laughing then looked at me, waiting for something?
"sooo?"
"huh? i asked confused
"why arent you leaving the bathroom?" ohhhh
"I'm curious how an owl? bathes, by the way what are you, you don't quite look like an owl."
"i, what? get out! and I'm half owl and half peacock," she said as she started pushing me out.
===30 minuets later===
"ARE YOU MASTERBATING INSIDE THERE??" i yelled, annoyed
she opened the door and came out with a towel looking embarrassed "what? no!"
"then why did your bath took so long?" i said as i got up from the bed
"i was washing my feathers it takes time" she said as she looked at me expectantly "what?" i asked
"Leave so i can change"
"*sigh* just drop the towel" i said as i hovered towards her
"why?!" she said even more ebmbaressed as she tried to cover herself with her hands
"calm down little bird if i wanted to see you naked i just could, i imagine you dressing would take even longer than your bath so just drop you towel so i can dress you" i said getting impatient.
she looked more embarrassed than ever, looked somewhere else and dropped her towel, i snapped my fingers and immediately her clothes were worn by her only cleaned.
"alright now seeing as you don't have any plans and your schedule is wide open let's help me come to the 3rd dimension so that i can spend time with you and be your friend properly, we don't want people thinking you're crazy now do we?" i said as i pushed her towards the wall of her bedroom.
"okay, how can we do that?" she asked curiose
"by going to the human world first"
"why?"
"you are a curious owl arent you?" i said as i petted her head "first i need to do some chores in the human world after that, we're gonna need a lot of energy for me to use to tear a tiny hole in the fabric of space and time, through wich i can escape and come to the 3rd dimension, but don't worry as long as we do today's chore i can find the energy no problem" i said as i held my hand for her again
She took it only to find herself swimming in the air again
"and why are you in my body again?" she said as she started to swim in the air and do air tricks
"we need to go to the human world, seein as you can't go there i need to use my powers, since you can't do the chores yourself either I'm gonna need your body till all of them are done, after that we can go get ice cream" i said as i opened a portal on the wall in la, transformed via's body into a normal human girl before going in, i started walking around reading anybodies mind to find a good tool i can use.
====10 minutes later====
useless, useless, degenerate useless, dumb useless, and found you, i started going in the direction of the tallest building around.
As I walked inside the building, i manipulated everyone, thinking i belonged here, went into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.
"what are we doing here again?" via asked relatively used to flying by now "I'm going to get a servant for myself to spread my influence in this world and make a cult for me" i explained as i started to whistle that one tune from Kill Bill.
"and why do you need a cult?"
"cause i need sinners"
"and why do you need sinners?"
"correct me if I'm wrong, but don't sinners go to hell?"
"yeah, and?"
"so if a bunch of brainwashed sinners get in hell, I'll empower them and then they become leaders, and form their own factions, and that leads to me having more influence in both the human world and in hell"
"and why do you need influence in hell?"
"so that i can find that big energy source that we'll use to set me free, got that?"
"Uh-huh, nice plan"
as we reached the top floor i just walked in took control of the woman's mind, empowered her a little, made her my puppet and started walking towards the elevator.
"that was it?" she asked confused i didn't do anything "yeah? i made her my puppet so now she does all my bidding, and i can pop right wherever she is and even order her or communicate with her from afar" i explained as she asked "didn't you need a deal with her to do that?"
"little bird I'm so powerful i don't need any deal to do whatever i want with anyone, the deal for me is more like a formality, trust me when I'm free you'll thank god himself everyday for the deal you made with me, when i said in my poster i can make every wish come true i didn't lie, oh by the way i keep forget to tell you something"
"*gulp* yeah?" she ask a little frightened from my earlier speech
"don't worry it's nothing bad, depending on perspective, thanks to that little deal we had as long as me and you are friends you are immortal, congratulations" i said like its nothing special
"what do you mean immortal exactly?"
"well that means you cant die, of anything, not age, blood loss, decapitation, etc"
"thanks?" she said not sure how to deal with that
"your welcome?"
after that we went and got ice cream, more like she got ice cream and i watched, then i took control of her body once more and took her home.
"alright, that was a nice adventure huh" i said as i dropped myself on her bed, she laughed and jumped on the bed, wanting to say something before the door of her room opened and her father came in
"hi sweety, how was your day? i came a while back but you seemed to be out" he said looking concerned
"uh fine Dad, how was your day?" she said looking at me like i could help make the conversation end, sorry sister you're on your own, and looked away, feigning ignorance.
"fine, *sigh* look sweety tomorrow me, your mother and uncle are getting together to talk about our marriage, and I'm concerned about your safety so i wanted you to spend the day with loona, blitz's daughter" he said looking tired and concerned
"alright dad" she said and became silent while looking at the ceiling
her dad got up was about to go but asked "how did the ceiling of your room become like this?" curious
"a friend did it for me" she said while looking at me, feeling awkward from the conversation i waved my hand comedically.
"oh, that's nice, i would appreciate it if you asked your friend to do this for my room as well" he said as he smiled and went out of the room closing the door.
"you alright?" i asked concerned
"yeah, I'm just tired of them fighting"
"look i admit I'm not good at the whole feeling thing, mostly because I've been alone for billions of years, but i can feel him caring for you more than anything, your dad is one of the few begins I've met that has this much love inside, so if they get divorced, it doesn't matter he will love you regardless"
"thanks, and yeah you're not good at feelings pft, what are you good at anyway?" she asked feeling better
"well, I'm good at reading, knowledge in general, magic, uh ..."
"so just power-related stuff, that makes you pretty two-dimensional doesn't it pft" she laughs as she rolls on her stomach.
"hey! ill have you know i was an amazing lover once, although yeah pretty much the only thing I'm good at are my powers, and your pun wasn't even that clever," i said annoyed
"oh yeah, who was she?" she asked interested
"i, uh, well" i started to stutter, i don't like where this is going.
"come on tell me, ill promise i wont laugh"
"i am so gonna regret this, look when i was younger i had this whole emo demon god phase, so i just did a bunch of stupid shit to get followers, one of the stupid things i did was related to one of my domains which was passion, so i found the most passionate begin i could find, possessed her and made a cult about passion, so one day the whole cult somehow mistook a command of mine for organizing an orgy and well i got carried away and participated, which was a mistake cause any girl who i pleasuerd basically went brain dead from the pleasure, so over night half the cult was gone." i said looking embaresed.
"wow, i wasn't expecting that, so how many?"
"how many what?"
"how many girls did you, you know ..."
"69"
"wow that's a lot, you had sex with all of them?"
i feel like she's judging me, "well you cant call it sex, cause i wasn't there myself, my mind was, that was the time i tried finding ways i could maybe feel something, after the first girl i was about to give up, but because everyone saw how much pleasure she had, they asked for the same i was feeling down so i didn't object and did it again"
"how did it feel? not feeling i mean"
"like how you move a doll, even when I'm in you i don't feel anything, if you get stabbed you feel something, if I'm controlling you and your body gets stabbed i feel nothing, and that's why when i enter your body, i wrap a thin invisible container around your body so that i don't injure you"
from the look she's giving me i guess she feels bad for me, and a little touched from the container part i guess.
"well after freeing you we can go experience all the feeling there is" she said as she held my hand
"ANYWAY, want to watch interdimensional tv?" i said as i held my hand out for her to take, she took it and we switched place, i got up walked to her tv and connected a black brick box with cyan lines to her tv and went back on the bed and put on a random channel, then gave her body back
"look its playing Last Will and Testimeow: Weekend at Dead Cat Lady's HouseII, your gonna love this its about a bunch of cats that wear the corpse of an old lady its pretty funny"
she got up brought some pop corn and we started watching.