I woke up abruptly to the sound of my alarm. My friend was coming over for breakfast. I rushed into the kitchen to prepare everything as quickly as possible. I only had an hour, and while moving around, I tried desperately to remember the dream I had just seen. I had seen unfamiliar faces, strangers everywhere, and there was chaos. I was trying to decide something. I knew that if I didn't remember the dream immediately, it would disappear forever. I forced my mind, and slowly, fragments began to surface.
An unfamiliar man had approached me and said, "You're coming with me."
And I had answered, "I can't come with you. I don't even know how to speak proper English."
He looked determined. Unshakable.
Who was he? I hadn't even seen a man in my dreams for a long time.
I quickly got dressed, set the breakfast table, and waited for Sezzy to arrive. While scrolling through social media, the doorbell rang. Sezzy stood there, cheerful as always. She was a friend I had met recently during a job interview, and from that moment on, we never stopped talking. It felt as if she were a sister I had been separated from for years. I loved her endless energy, listening to updates about her life, and the way she asked for my advice.
As we ate breakfast and talked, she mentioned a social media app she had discovered. "People meet here," she said. "Maybe you'll socialize a bit, or who knows, maybe you'll find the love of your life."
I didn't feel ready. I wanted it, but I wasn't ready.
"I'm not sure," I said. "Maybe I'll look at it later."
Sezzy suddenly got serious. "You will download it, Lyra. Get back into life and stop mourning already."
She was right. There was no escape.
Of course, she had already taken my phone and downloaded the app.
After coffee and more life talk, Sezzy left in the afternoon to study for her German exam. I washed the dishes, tidied the house, and suddenly realized I had nothing to do. I had been doing puzzles for a long time, but even that bored me now. I decided to scroll through the new app a little.
The number of likes already showed five hundred.Wow. So I wasn't the only antisocial one, apparently.
While browsing, a notification popped up: "Use the app globally and make friends around the world."
That idea excited me. I wasn't ready to meet a man face to face, and I couldn't exactly meet someone living abroad anyway. Why not? Maybe I could improve my English or at least practice. And just like that, I got my first match.
He lived in Dubai. Egyptian.
I called him a boy because he was three years younger than me. I didn't care. I wasn't taking the app seriously.
After chatting for a bit, I put my phone aside and helped my mom prepare dinner. After everyone finished eating and went to their rooms, I checked my phone. It was full of notifications. He was worried. Asking where I had disappeared.
I smiled to myself. I couldn't even remember the last time someone wondered about me.
Something stirred inside me.
We started talking again, and one topic led to another. I was laughing uncontrollably while texting him. He said he wanted to meet me, but I told him I lived in Turkey. I explained why I used the app globally, adding a small lie. "I'm just trying to improve my English." It wasn't entirely a lie. Liking him was just a bonus.
The truth was, I had been to Dubai twice before. Once, I even stayed there for two months. My family thought I was attending an English course, but when I arrived, my ex-boyfriend showed up immediately, and chaos followed. I never even made it to the course. After two months, I returned to Turkey and never told my family the truth.
And of course, I didn't tell the Egyptian boy either. I only said I had been there twice. That was all.
We talked until morning.
When I woke up the next day, my phone was filled with good morning messages.
Oh my God.
It felt like a butterfly flew through my stomach.
I laughed at myself when I realized how easily I got excited by a simple good morning message. Emotional deprivation was real. But I kept talking to Fahri. And talking. And talking.
We started sending each other photos. I kept laughing while texting him. I even began waking up early and going for walks. My happiness hormones were through the roof, and I surprised even myself.
One week passed. Two weeks. Three weeks. I had no idea how time slipped away.
Fahri worked for a famous automotive company and also created content on YouTube. He filmed videos while driving luxury cars, and he loved it. While checking his channel, I found a video from two years ago titled "Asking my girlfriend questions about cars."
Oh my God.
I froze.
My eyes burned red with anger. I felt like a monster. I knew this feeling well, but it had been a long time since I last felt it. I was insanely jealous. I watched the video over and over, focusing on how beautiful the girl was. Was he still seeing her? How much time had they spent together?
She was blonde. My hair was black!!
I replayed the video again and again, ignoring his messages. I couldn't just ask him why the video was still there or if he was still with her. Or could I? I knew nothing.
He quickly realized something was wrong and tried to understand what had happened. I wasn't going to tell him. How could I even explain this? He would probably think I was crazy.
After half an hour of "what's wrong" messages, I finally said, "I saw a video on your YouTube channel. I guess blonde girls are your type."
He replied immediately. "What? What do you mean? Which video?"
Then it came. Apologies. Confusion. "Oh my God, I forgot about that. I'm so sorry. I removed all videos with my ex, but I must have missed this one. I'm really sorry you saw it."
I wasn't expecting that.
Not even ten seconds passed before the video disappeared.
What I felt then was pure peace. I felt understood. I didn't even know what to say to him. I couldn't exactly thank him.
Soon after, another message came.
"Lyra, I know this sounds ridiculous and it's only been three weeks, but I really enjoy talking to you. I want to see you. I want to tell you I like you while looking into your eyes. If I say this now, you'll probably think I'm crazy."
I literally screamed.
I had both expected it and not expected it. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to see him desperately, but I didn't feel ready. I couldn't explain why. It just felt like the timing wasn't right.
After talking more, we decided August would be better. First, he wanted to come to Turkey. Then he said, "Actually, Lyra, why don't you come to Dubai? I've never seen you there, but you already know the city."
We decided to meet in Dubai.
We talked every single day. My happiness hormones skyrocketed. I filled my days with activities, spent more time with friends, and enjoyed being with my family. Everyone wondered why I was smiling all the time. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time.
I was dying to see him.
And it was mutual.
I trusted him completely because he gave me that trust.
My days were finally full. I was happy. I even started writing a diary again. I stopped canceling plans with friends.For the first time in a long time, I was choosing life.