Wolfgang opened his eyes to see…A whole lot of nothing.
Just pure darkness.
And then,
"Yaaawwwnnn!"
He yawned loudly as he realized he was lying on something soft.
"Where the hell am I?" he muttered, reaching upward to test his surroundings.
His arms barely extended before they hit a solid barrier directly above him.
He froze.
And raised his hand again.
BONK.
A very wood-like bonk.
Then the memories hit him all at once, The fabulous robot truck, The ten-page combo finisher, and his body becoming modern art on a New York building.
'WAIT. How am I even alive right now!? DID I GET BURIED ALIVE!? IS THAT WHAT THIS BOX IS!?'
He panicked internally as he began rapidly punching the barrier above him.
THUNK-THUNK-THUNK-THUNK-THUNK-
"LET ME OUT YOU SICK BASTARDS-!!"
He stopped pounding for a moment, brain finally kicking in.
In every movie he'd ever watched, people didn't waste oxygen like idiots.
And right now?
Oxygen was a valuable resource he suddenly cared very deeply about.
'Gotta find a way to get some air… before I literally speedrun death twice.'
He pressed his palms against the cramped ceiling again, slower this time, feeling around every inch. No give. No cracks. Just solid wood.
He slid his hands to the sides of the box, running his fingers along the corners, the edges, the grooves. Nothing but more coffin wall.
Eventually, with rising desperation nibbling at the edges of his sanity, he returned to feeling around the top again, tapping and pushing in different spots in hopes of finding a miracle.
Then,
His thumb pressed slightly off-center.
The surface shifted.
A tiny mechanism depressed under his finger, and…
CLICK.
The noise echoed like the unlocking of a treasure chest.
Or a trap.
Wolfgang froze.
"…Oh, that's either really good or REALLY bad."
He waited a few seconds, holding his breath to see if something would explode, transform, or JoJo-ify itself….. What you never know.
But nothing happened.
"…Okay. Good sign?"
He gently pushed up on the ceiling.
KrEEEeek-
The lid slowly creaked open, and Wolfgang let out a shaky sigh of pure, unfiltered relief.
Fresh air.
Light.
Actual space.
He wasn't dead.
He hesitated a moment, then finally peered out to take in his surroundings.
Pink.
Pink everywhere. Pink curtains, Pink carpet, Pink furniture.
'…Why is there so much pink.'
He shifted to step out of the coffin,
And froze when something swished softly around his legs.
He looked down.
He blinked.
He stepped forward again just to make sure.
His heart dropped straight into his stomach.
"…Why… am I wearing a skirt."
He stared long.
Then something else hit him,
His voice.
It was incredibly, painfully, unavoidably high-pitched.
Like, chipmunk levels of high.
"…oh no."
But hope still wasn't dead. Not yet.
Not until he checked the most important thing on his entire body.
With the desperation of a man fighting for his identity, he reached down, grabbed his balls, and pressed hard.
"AH-MOTHER FUKER THAT HURT!"
He wheezed in pain… and then sighed in pure relief.
"THANK GO-"
He didn't even finish the sentence.
A sharp, stabbing, brain-melting pain shot straight through his skull.
"OW-WHAT THE-?!"
He dropped to his knees instantly, clutching his head as if someone had taken a holy iron rod and stabbed it directly into his brain.
His whole body twitched.
His eyes watered.
His soul left his body for a second.
'WHY DOES THAT HURT SO MUCH-?!'
*****
While this was going on, not even a room over was a girl preparing tea. She had long black hair and bright purple eyes, her expression as calm as ever.
"OW-WHAT THE-?!"
The sudden shout cracked through the silence and broke Akeno's concentration for a moment. Her hand paused above the teapot, the steam curling lazily around her fingers.
She blinked once.
"…My, someone's lively.." she said softly,
But then she froze.
She blinked once.
And then she blinked again.
Her brows lifted ever so slightly, an expression so rare on her that it almost felt wrong.
"…Was that Gasper's voice?" she murmured, this time with real surprise slipping through.
Over the past four months since Gasper had agreed to be sealed away, for everyone's safety, because he couldn't control his power, she hadn't heard a single peep from her cute kouhai.
Not a whisper.
Not a complaint.
Not even the little scared noises he makes.
Silence. Absolute silence for months.
So hearing that? That sudden, loud, pained yell?
Akeno's eyes narrowed, the surprise fading into a thin, focused line.
She decided to check it out, just in case it was something serious.
With a quiet exhale, she set the tea set aside, wiped her hands on her apron, and began walking toward the sealed room where Gasper was kept inside.
*****
Our protagonist was still clutching his head, teeth clenched as the leftover divine-sensitivity migraine pulsed behind his eyes. As he sat on the pink carpet
Then,
BZZZZZ-tchk… wrrrrrRRRRM…
His eyes snapped open. and he pushed himself to stand.
"The hell was that?" he muttered, scanning the room
Then a tiny holographic window flickered into existence in front of him, glitching like cheap neon. Lines of code scrolled. A loading circle rotated.
[ SYSTEM BOOT ]
[ INITIALIZING: RANDOMIZED GACHA]
[LOADING PERSONAL DATA…]
[SYNCING WITH HOST SOUL….]
[WARNING: HOST HEIGHT LOWER THAN PROJECTED. ]
Wolfgang's eyes narrowed at the glowing message.
'Wow. Low blow… my height is perfectl-'
He stopped.
Now that he was fully out and standing on the carpeted floor, he noticed something felt off. The room looked… bigger. Or rather, he felt smaller.
He looked down at himself, then around the room.
'…Wait.'
He took a slow step,
'I'm… shorter.'
He frowned, lifting a hand to compare his reach.
Nope. Noticeably shorter.
'Oh nah. I got nerfed….. Is this the difference between 5 '11 and 6 foot.'
He sighed internally, staring at the holographic text.
the display flickered again with another line.
[SYNC COMPLETE.]
[FINDING INVENTORY...… UNIVERSAL LINK MADE(JOJO'S UNIVERSE)]
Seeing the words flash before him, Wolfgang froze for a second.
"…Am I in JoJo's?" he muttered, voice barely above a whisper.
Before he could even process it, a status screen popped up out of nowhere, hovering in midair like it belonged there.
[ NAME: GASPER VLADI
AGE: 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS
RACE: VAMPIRE(DAYWALKER DXD)/DEVIL(DXD)
SACREAD GEAR: FORBIDDEN BALOR VIEW (ORIGIN POINT: HIGH SCHOOL DXD)]
seeing this on the system screen made his palms sweety, knees weak, arms heavy, and almost made him want to vomit.
His worst fear… had come true.
He became…
a femboy.